To give neither child an en suite??

[HamRadio]

Yes - first world problems I know.

My kids are 9 and 6. Two girls. We are about to move house and two of the bigger bedrooms have an en suite.

DH and I are having one. The other I was going to make a guest room/office. There are two decent sized bedrooms for the girls.

DD9 wants the en suite. She has been going on and on about it but I don’t want to give it to her.

Firstly, a nine year old does not need a bloody en suite.

Also, I don’t think it’s fair to let her have it and not DD2 so in my view the fairest solution is that neither of them has it (I feel like DD2 gets a lot of hand me downs etc and it’s an issue that I have become quite conscious of).

DH agrees with me but my sister thinks we are bonkers to make the second biggest bedroom a barely-used guest room and that it’s a waste of space.

Would appreciate some views...

Keep the ensuite as a spare and office. Plus also the en suite wont need cleaning as much.

I grew up house of 5 girls/women with one bathroom and no seperate loo. No one died.

If there’s an argument, put them both in the bedroom with the en-suite !

We have the same dilemma. I grew up with my sister sharing a big, huge room with our en-suite.
I have done the same with our daughters. They share the bedroom with the en-suite. It is a big room. They will have bed, study table, three cupboards each and a dressing table, once decoration is done.
The smaller room has been converted to study to contain their reading books and other paraphernalia.
Maybe see if this arrangement will work for you. Good luck.

Haven't read the whole thing but unless you have guests regularly, surely it's better to actually use the en-suite with the bedroom.
The younger daughter will get the benefit of the family bathroom to herself, it just won't be accessed from her room! Surely they'd both love it.

@puahtmeez they will be using the en suite as it is in the home office where they will be working from home. It will also be used by guests.

The children will have their own similar rooms so there will be no bias towards the older child and no resentment from the youngest.

Dd who is 3 has an en suite and has had since she was born. H and I have no en suite which people find weird, but we have a larger/more grand room. I also have 2 older boys who don’t have an en suite but share the top floor to themselves, as they share toys it made more sense.

I’d not waste a good room on occasional use. We have never had overnight guests tho, so it would be different if we did I suppose.

I would keep the ensuite as a guest room but I would also allow the girls to use it for sleepovers when their friends come too. With three years between them the older one won't want her little sister at her sleepovers and won't want to get embroiled in her little sister's. That way they both get to use the ensuite wirh and for their own guests too. Fairness all round.

I would use it a guest room/office. Since when did children dictate which rooms they got anyway? It's only fair that neither of them have an en suite as the one who doesn't have one will definitely feel favoritism towards the other one

I’d keep the bedroom as a guest room/office and give your husband the ensuite. With 3 women in the house he will need it.

I agree with you OP and wouldn’t even have questioned it. Now that my DH and I are both working from home I would absolutely love a home office/spare room to use. I’m so sick of work stuff cluttering up my bedroom and the kitchen/diner.
I would tell the DD9 that it’s your office so tough

@HamRadio - as some other posters have said, if your dd1 has the room with the en suite, then the other bathroom would basically be dd2’s bathroom - would she be happy with that arrangement?

If she would, then I would suggest you let dd1 have the en suite room, with two provisos:

• she cleans her own bathroom.

and

• when guests come, she moves into the spare room/office, and shares her sister’s bathroom.

We had a similar issue. We solved it by giving DD1 the room with the en-suite. DD2 has sole use of the family bathroom and we have our own en-suite. If we gets guests then DD2 does have to share but it’s literally like once or twice a year so she doesn’t mind.

I wouldn't give the ensuite to either girl. It'll only cause bad feeling to either dd

It'll only cause bad feeling.

I'm with you on that one. I have a 2nd en-suite too and when eldest daughter finally moves out I've put my foot down and said it's going to be guest room and younger ones can stay in their current rooms

@AntiSocialDistancer

If yoy have an en suite, and 9yo has an en suite, then surely your 6yo will have a family bathroom to herself? Everyone will win

Well, why not give the 6yo the ensuite then?

That way DD9 can have the family bathroom as 'hers'.

Except when sharing with overnight guests

I would give it to the 9 yr old. Surely it means the youngest pretty much has the family (and I assume) bathroom to herself

Definitely guest room.
Weve got 3DC all boys; 1 6 and 10.
We are looking to move into a bigger house in the not too distant future and all tje new houses we've looked at online seem to have 1 or 2 en suites.
My opinion is; thats 3 bathrooms I've got to clean every week if we were to give DS10 en suite. Whereas 8f it was treated as a spare; i could probably get away with cleaning it every other or even every 3 weeks.
We live an hours drive away from all of our family so when they come to see us; its usually for 3 days. Sometimes a week. We also love to have our nice over for half terms and during the summer.
DH - however - thinks it would be a waste.
I'm not giving in tho. Maybe when he's a teenager he can have it - mainly bc he can clean it! 🤣

No way would I be letting one of them have the en suite. It would be giving in and make her top dog.

I would do the same OP. As pp said: is she scrubbing the toilet herself?
I like having a guest room so people can stay with us in comfort. To be fair, though, both my and my partner’s families are scattered round the country, as are our closest friends, so guest room is used fairly frequently. And: my house my rules!

@HamRadio

Your 9yr old won't stay 9 forever... She will appreciate the privacy and will feel very grown up I imagine

I do appreciate this. But my six year old won’t stay six forever either and I’m sure would also appreciate the privacy. So why should the older one get it by default?

I was thinking that too! Grossly unfair for one to have one and not the other. Our eldest and his wife are looking at a 4 bed new build and said the 2nd bedroom which also has ensuite will be the guest room/office. Neither of their young ones will get it even when they are older

I wouldn’t let either of my girls have the en-suite. It’s a huge luxury (imo) that I didn’t have until my 40s! I believe kids should grow up with as simple a lifestyle and material expectations as possible. Treats as they grow up really will feel like treat and luxuries, rather than the expected norm.

Totally agree. It means guest have their own bathroom so don't need to share with the kids. Plus if one child is in family bathroom other can use it without arguments. I hate the fact my youngest ds has the tiny bedroom all the time being the youngest and would like to switch them over but dp thinks it would be wrong to switch them over. If it wasn't for the window being where it is I would move the wall to make them the same size.

If you have guests often - guest room, if not give it to your 9 yr old and tell 6 yr old that other bathroom is hers. Which it will be really. Easy.

We have 2 enquires for the 2 bigger rooms. We have one and the other is the spare room / room where I dump all the laundry ...!
The dc have the 2 smaller bedrooms (8 and 6). They are both to young for the en-suite. By TV have said that when they turn 16 they can have it for 2 years before uni (if that’s what they want).