To think this mum should have been more concerned

[consideratealpaca]

Dd9 has an account on a popular online gaming platform. During lockdown she spent a reasonable amount of time playing this game with her class friends from school. One particular girl and DD have butted heads a few times and fell out, which to me seemed like normal kid like behaviour and I wasn't concerned.
Despite me trying to persuade DD not to, she opted to spend some of her birthday money on 'diamonds' to enhance her game experience. I think she spent roughly £100 in dribs and drabs, which I wasn't impressed about, but it is her money when all is said and done.
Last week she came to me and said her account had been 'hacked' and all her diamonds, special objects etc had been stolen. She was then shut out of her own account. It finally transpired that she'd given the girl in her class who she frequently argues with her log in details.
Ordinarily I wouldn't particularly care but this child has stolen the things she bought with her birthday money as well as all the credits she had accrued in game play.
The girls had a brief exchange on WhatsApp and the class friend admitted she had taken my daughters diamonds etc and then changed her password.
I'm pretty sure I can take back control of the account for her, but everything is now lost. Her friend meanwhile, has all of my daughters diamonds and credits.

I messaged the mother of the child in question and whilst the message was read, it was ignored. So I approached her in a polite and friendly way in the playground this afternoon. I was hoping that she'd be shocked at her daughter's behaviour and perhaps we'd get an apology at least. I do not want to be reimbursed for the lost money, and stated that from the start.
The mother's reaction was just to shrug and waffle about not getting involved. Am I right to be mildly pissed off, or ridiculous for making an issue of it to begin with?

@consideratealpaca this sort of happened to my 10 year old. She has only spent a couple of pounds and had then used it to accrue a good pet over time. Her best friend 'borrowed' it then said her account was hacked and so my child lost her items. The girls fell out and I spoke to the girls mum who was very apologetic. Harsh lesson for my dd but the mum apologised too. The decent way to handle it x

Said this already, but if I were another parent at the school I would want to know about this. Other kids could end up in the same position.

Just catching up! I'm one of the out of date, clueless (I bloody wish) about Roblox. Really pleased with the outcome. Your daughter deserves to get her bux back! Plus any dance moves or ride on dragons!! My dd did a trade once with a friend who changed her mind. I told my dd I would leave it to her conscience to decide. She decided to keep it! After another chat my dd did give it back and recieved robux as a good karma type thing. £5 mind!

You are great. I'm just glad you got Roblox involved to get what is rightfully your dd's. I was particularly happy that the mother and the kid got a lesson. Do not steal. You are also very funny 😁

I am so pleased your DD got her stuff back. Roblox is a bugger for getting scammed in and it must have been even worse that it was someone she trusted. At least your DD has learnt a valuable lesson now before it was something even more valuable to her that she couldn't get back. A good life lesson.

The other mother sounds like a nasty cow. Glad you can laugh and ignore her.

For Fucks sake Corona you couldn't see a point if it hit you in the face. You are purposely reading what you want out of every post on here.

The OP needs to let the school know the situation because they might have some screeching chav nutter trying to have a fist fight at the bloody school gates! And the woman's thieving daughter could start on the OP's daughter too!

Mildly disappointed that I didn't see her this morning, I kind of wanted to get any aggro she's after out of the way.
School teacher informed. She sat down with me and took some notes, saying she'll speak to the safeguarding lead because the porn thing is quite a serious issue.

"It's not the schools responsibility to police outside activities."

Thankfully @consideratealpaca didn't listen to you, @Corono, and did talk to the teacher. Or maybe you think the teacher is wrong too, and the other girl having porn on her phone, and sending it to her friends isn't a safeguarding issue.

Just returned from the school run. She went lairy on me in the playground, i was embarrassed for her. I don't understand how she can feel she is within her rights to kick off at me. What did we do wrong? 🤷‍♀️

You were critical. You didn't let her walk all over you.

How very dare you.

er - dare we ask what she said and what happened?

How outrageous you actually took action when her child stole from yours despite you giving her the opportunity to resolve age matter herself 🙄. You are supposed to meekly accept this of course ...

Well done op she sounds dreadful I think you have done everything right here tbh

Well done op. You're not in the wrong here.

How embarrassing for her.
What did you say?

You did nothing wrong. See where the daughter gets it from.

Oh God, she sounds awful and ridiculous. Rather than being embarrassed and apologetic that her daughter is a conniving little thief, she is having a go because you took steps to restore your daughter's possessions! Astounding.

Could you possibly tell us what she said ...?

Ohhh tell us more! I hope you kept your cool!

She came over and stood next to me so close it was uncomfortable whilst I was just saying hi and catching up with another mum I haven't seen since before lockdown. She clearly felt uncomfortable because she ended the convo and moved away.
Then the mother of the thief said 'I'm disgusted with your behaviour' and I said 'likewise. I've told you I don't wish to discuss it anymore. Your daughter stole from mine, the matter's been resolved, I don't really want to get involved in the drama. Just as you said'. And I turned away from her.
Then to be honest she just started shouting crap. 'Oh, you think you're so big and clever' I remember. And 'everyone thinks you're a snobby cunt' or something. I just stood there and took her rant, then said 'I can see where xxxxxx gets it from. How delightful' and walked away.
I don't think I would have gained the upper hand and reacted in this way if it wasn't for you lot, so thank you!

You’re right. She’s embarrassing herself and her daughter

OP you are wonderful!

Absolutely. I just want to make it clear that because of this thread I went in to the situation totally assured that I was in the right. She towers over me, she's exceptionally tall for a woman. And she's built. I am completely intimidated by her, but I knew that she's being an arsehole, there was no doubt in my mind....because of you lot. So I for once in my life took a measured approach rather than letting my mouth run away with itself. I walked away feeling like the bollocks! Thanks ladies.

Yes! Good on you, perfect response - she's a bully & needs to check herself.

Hope that's the end of it. Maybe take a tape measure or 2m stick to encourage socially distanced ranting next time!

So let me get this right :

Her dd stole the Roblex diamonds from your dd

You politely raised this with her to give the opportunity to sort she shrugs and opts to do nothing presumably as her Verruca Salt is in possession of the items

You contact the third party who rights the wrong and returns items to child who purchased them (assume their records show this to be the case)

Mad mother now angry with you!!

Wth did she expect you to do 😮 in the circumstances?! Roll over and allow her child to steal from yours? I don’t ducking think so!

Oh and “snobby” is the insult of choice for thickos everywhere

Wow she sounds a right scumbag! I hope she feels ashamed though doubtful! How could someone lower themselves to act like at school in front if all the other parents! Pond life!

Gosh some of these mumsnetters remind me of nasty little dogs, yap yap yapping away nastily from their phones.
My DDs “friend” stole an iPod mini from our house when she was over. I only found out when it spilled over into school and my DD saw it with her. Things spill over obviously and it’s good to give their teacher a heads up in case of any animosity.

Well done OP, she made an absolute tit of herself whilst you kept your cool.
If she continues I would actually consider reporting to the police as harassment. She can't get away with behaving like that and calling people snobby cunts in the playground!