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Original poster

"you're so pretty" - weird on first day of college?

226 replies

spanielmum3 · 09/09/2020 18:31

So my dd aged 16 started college today. When she got home she got a text or an Instagram msg from a boy she was talking to, who is 19, and he said something about he was happy they had chatted and then he put "by the way you're very pretty".

My initial reaction is to say to her to be careful - she is flattered, obviously, but she does wonder if it is a bit 'creepy' to say that in a text after only talking for a few mins. I'm wondering myself - is that normal, or what do you all think. She said he seems nice, but obviously she only chatted to him for a bit and never met him before.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 09/09/2020 19:20

Goodness when are people ever going to see if they like/fancy each other if no one is allowed to pay another a compliment.

This red flag stuff is all getting a bit silly really, teach your own child how to set her boundaries and then let her have a life. Teenagers have to be able to think for themselves and assess people or they will never have a normal relationship. They've been chatting and he paid her a compliment, all perfectly normal teenage behaviour.

Echobelly · 09/09/2020 19:23

I know we're all up on our potential harrassment etc, but honestly this is innocent complimenting and maybe fishing for a date.

TeensArghhh · 09/09/2020 19:24

At 16 my DD would have been over the moon with a boy texting her she’s pretty. Makes a welcome change from a dick pic with the text “Fancy a shag?” 🤢🤮

He doesn’t sound weird to me OP. In fact he sounds like he was brought up with manners and respect for women.

Let your DD decide if he is worth spending time with - or not

SBTLove · 09/09/2020 19:24

I think you need to remind yourself that she is now at college and becoming an adult, yes teach her to be aware but step back, you don’t need to be that involved with your DDs msgs & friends. Did she raise this with you or do you check up on her?
My DD15 wouldn’t even mention this, she’s capable of making decisions herself.

MakingMabel · 09/09/2020 19:24

Call the police now! He was respectful and complimentary - outrageous.

alfrew · 09/09/2020 19:25

Creepy????? A teenager telling another teenager she's pretty. No.

AudTheDeepMinded · 09/09/2020 19:26

It's all a bit 'Normal People' if you ask me.

Benjispruce2 · 09/09/2020 19:26

We’re always braver in textbooks say what we’re too shy to say in person. It’s teenage romance. Yabu.

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 09/09/2020 19:26

I dunno, it just seems very 'forward' maybe I'm old fashioned and they weren't at a pub, they haven't even talked to each other.

Is it forward to pay someone a nice complement?

Also you said in your OP that they had been talking so which is it?
When she got home she got a text or an Instagram msg from a boy she was talking to, who is 19, and he said something about he was happy they had chatted
but she does wonder if it is a bit 'creepy' to say that in a text after only talking for a few mins.

Benjispruce2 · 09/09/2020 19:27

Texts not textbooks!!!!

Namechangearoo · 09/09/2020 19:27

I think it’s quite sad that you find it creepy. It’s not a dick pic, it’s a sweet compliment. Pretty, not sexy. He’s just testing the water to see if she’s interested and I bet he backs off quickly if she just ignores the compliment.

positivelynegative · 09/09/2020 19:27

Is she? Is it a reasonable observation?

It might not be the most original, possibly a little clumsy, but it ain't a friggin cock shot!

lowlandLucky · 09/09/2020 19:28

If he had called her ugly i think you would have something to worry about. Your Daughter is nearly an adult.

MrsMayo · 09/09/2020 19:29

Nothing wrong with it at all. Quite sweet.

MrMeSeeks · 09/09/2020 19:31

Dear god creepy? Don’t give your daughter insecurities!
Feel bad for the young today Hmm

FenellaVelour · 09/09/2020 19:31

This is just normal, I’d have been well pleased to be paid a sweet compliment like this at 16. How weird that anyone would think otherwise.

LucilleBluth · 09/09/2020 19:32

The only creepy one here is you op.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 09/09/2020 19:33

For goodness sake he's a 19 year old boy, not a 50 year old man. You're being utterly ridiculous as is your DD. Poor lad. Anything to be offended very. I despair.

Staffy1 · 09/09/2020 19:33

I don't see how this is creepy at all. It wasn't even something like "you're very sexy" or anything crude. It's a nice compliment.

Poptart4 · 09/09/2020 19:34

He was sweet and respectful.

Get a grip op.

PeachForTheStars · 09/09/2020 19:34

That was such a lovely thing to say. i can't believe you would worry about that!

saywhatwhatnow · 09/09/2020 19:36

It's not creepy at all in itself. He's a 19 year old boy telling a similar aged girl she's pretty.

Your daughter met him in person, if she finds him weird/creepy in real life then THAT is an issue. Gut instinct is there for a reason.

Dontcarewhatmyusernameis · 09/09/2020 19:37

I can’t see how anyone could view that as creepy. It’s a respectful compliment. How else are any relationships going to begin if no one ever shows interest? I’m sure he’d back off if she made it clear she wasn’t interested in return.

saleorbouy · 09/09/2020 19:37

He's merely stating he found her attractive in a very tasteful way. How else is the poor lad able to let it be known, isn't this how couple first gauge each other. He's shown her an interest it's up to her now whether she lead him on and spends more time getting to know him. Or if she let's him know she's happy for him to remain in the "friend zone."
He I'd only trying to find out if she was attracted to him, poor fella being thought of as creepy.

Crylittlesister · 09/09/2020 19:39

I think it was a compliment. "Great tits" would have been inappropriate, but 'pretty' is fine. Don't give her a complex about people being nice.