Why are some teachers so unnecessarily mean?

[barhari]

DC1's new teacher is infamous for being very strict - she's fairly old school. The children are genuinely afraid of her. One mum actually specified her child not be put in this strict teacher's form.

She just has such an attitude with the kids - her only form of communication is to berate and tell off. She's fine with adults.

This particular teacher reminds me of a couple of my own - of course, I'm not saying all teachers are like this but I'm just curious how they get away with it? Are they just miserable in themselves? Surely no one thinks this is an effective way of communicating with a child.

There's strict and then there's just plain miserable. Why get into teaching?

You choose teaching as a career at the age of 18-20. Several decades later you are still teaching the same age group. Every day you have to explain that no, sniffing the white glue will not have any effect except to spill it and make a mess, and that yes, it is a bad idea to sharpen your pencil and sweep the bits onto the carpet. Etc Etc. You can retire when you reach 67, so it's not all bad. Oh, and Sammy has been sick in the book corner. The cleaners have all gone home so if you could just...

Power trip? There were some absolute cunts teaching at my secondary school who spoke to pupils like shit, whether they were misbehaving or not.

Well, there are unnecessarily mean teachers just like their unnecessarily mean parents, grandparents, bus drivers, shopkeepers, police officers, doctors, hairdressers etc etc. Some people are just mean.

Some people are just mean. It has nothing to do with the careers they choose.

I also imagine doing the same job for 20+ years could get pretty repetitive and frustrating after a while.

Because there are unnecessarily mean people from all walks of life.

My DC's school had a teacher like this who was managed out somehow luckily before my DC got there. Of course people will come along and say kids need discpline etc. but there's a difference between a teacher who establishes boundaries while supporting the kids and a teacher who makes the kids feel scared.

I had mainly wonderful teachers but still remember a certain Biology teacher who seemed determined to completely ruin her student's self confidence (and enjoyment of biology). I think the reason was that she loved biology but didn't love teaching it or being around children in general. Then didn't have the sense to change career, just became increasingly miserable and bitter.

Years ago I had a primary school teacher admit to me that she 'didn't like little boys' at a parents evening. The statement arose because I had challenged her after she asked why my son wasn't on Ritalin.

The consistent teachers aren't too bad, you know they're strict and possibly old fashioned so your children learn to adapt to that personality...that's as much an education (how to handle people who aren't your cup of tea) as the formal subjects taught.

It's the ones who blow hot and cold depending on how well their ego is being stroked or whether the student is 'likeable' aka sporty that really piss me off. Making a child anxious about whether you're going to be an arsehole or delight to deal with on a daily basis is fucking deranged and those people shouldn't be teaching.

At least we’re all being exposed to possible large viral loads of Covid 19, OP, and will soon be desperately unwell or dead. That should cheer you up, OP.

Yes, there are mean people in all walks of life, but a teacher, who has chosen to stay in a profession where she deals with children a lot, who is consistently mean, only to children? To me that's just a fucking weird move. Maybe a little sadistic? A sociopath or psychopath maybe. It isn't normal or acceptable at any rate. And I am under no illusions that teaching small children is easy; I have small children and two are hard enough work. But if you hate it so much that you can only berate and pick on them, then leave the profession. Being a cleaner or working in McDonald's, or literally any other job, would surely be better than that, for her and the kids.

Maybe they learnt it from the former mean and unpleasant Education Secretary, Michael Gove.

No, there are just mean people in all walks of life.

@Armi

At least we’re all being exposed to possible large viral loads of Covid 19, OP, and will soon be desperately unwell or dead. That should cheer you up, OP.

Oh come on. You’re not the Borg. I believe passionately in journalism but that doesn’t mean I have to defend all of it (thank goodness). In fact I’m first in the queue to say something is a disgrace if it is, because I believe in what I do. Why take it personally?

@armi look that's not a helpful comment. You can respect teaching as a profession and vote in favour of improved conditions for teachers but also object to your child having a specific teacher who is rubbish.

I'm sure if you went to hospital and encountered a terrible nurse you would make a complaint while still believing that nurses in general are doing an amazing job in difficult conditions.
The idea that no teacher can be ctitisized is clearly silly.

You have to bear in mind that societies (particularly parents) attitude towards children, their behaviour and education has changed dramatically over recent decades. No excuse for a teacher being mean but an older teacher maintaining boundaries I can understand.

@WhereTheCrawdadsSing

Yes, there are mean people in all walks of life, but a teacher, who has chosen to stay in a profession where she deals with children a lot, who is consistently mean, only to children? To me that's just a fucking weird move. Maybe a little sadistic? A sociopath or psychopath maybe. It isn't normal or acceptable at any rate. And I am under no illusions that teaching small children is easy; I have small children and two are hard enough work. But if you hate it so much that you can only berate and pick on them, then leave the profession. Being a cleaner or working in McDonald's, or literally any other job, would surely be better than that, for her and the kids.

But how many genuinely horrible teachers are only mean to kids? I have worked with a couple of mean teachers in my time and they were horrible to certain kids, they were horrible to certain colleagues and they were rude and shirty with certain parents. I think teachers who are only horrible to children are very few and far between. Just like in every walk of life.

I had a teacher as a child who was an absolute lunatic but there are very, very few teachers like that around nowadays. Believe me, being a teacher in 2020 is the very opposite of a power trip. Also, being strict isn't the same as being mean. Consistent and fair is definitely easier for kids to cope with than unpredictable. Are you absolutely sure she is berating the children constantly? And another point, if she is doing a lot of telling off, maybe the pupils aren't as well behaved as they should be?

But looking back the strickter teachers were better then the quiet ones whose voices weren,t heard who you messed about in lessons. I do remember one teacher who was quite stuck in her ways and got booe,d when she entered the room. The main prob was she had more formal approaches to other teachers, she was also a semi retired cover teacher which isn,t that easy any way.

But how many genuinely horrible teachers are only mean to kids? I have worked with a couple of mean teachers in my time and they were horrible to certain kids, they were horrible to certain colleagues and they were rude and shirty with certain parents. I think teachers who are only horrible to children are very few and far between. Just like in every walk of life.

Oh absolutely and it isn't something I've ever encountered before myself, thankfully. But this is what op said about the teacher in question.

1. people change. Lots of older people become cantankerous and less tolerant (eg towards children) and less patient. I was amazed by what some of the older nurses in my daughters NICU were like & why they had chosen that as a profession.

2. sometimes the strict teachers are extremely effective. My mother was a ks1 teacher. She was probably at the strict end but was beloved because she could get any kid reading, she was particularly effective with the ones who were struggling. Her results in terms of progress & value add were excellent. Sometimes discipline pays off.

@Armi

At least we’re all being exposed to possible large viral loads of Covid 19, OP, and will soon be desperately unwell or dead. That should cheer you up, OP.

Wow, so glad my kids teachers aren't so hysterical.

@HandfulofDust The idea that no teacher can be criticised is silly.

Oh absolutely but if someone had started a thread entitled "Why are parents so shit?" I would expect parents to come along and defend both themselves and parents in general.

There's a different between strict and mean. Having very clear boundaries which are insisted in is strict, this can make children feel secure as they know exactly what's exoected.

Making a child feel scared is just mean and obviously detrimental to learning. No one can learn effectively if they're nervous or scared.

Also with kids there nerds to be positive encouragement. That was understood even back when we were at school. If its all negative and no positive it's going to be miserable. Just as it would be for an adult working under those conditions.

At least we’re all being exposed to possible large viral loads of Covid 19, OP, and will soon be desperately unwell or dead. That should cheer you up, OP

Someone's not a maths teacher, and doesnt understand statistics. You are more likely to have mild symptoms or be asymptomatic, than be "desperately unwell or dead".

I still remember almost 25 years ago, a teacher we had who was very elderly. I was only 5 and was terrified of her. My friend Alan laughed when he accidentally spilled something (nervous laughter) and she pulled him by his arm into the middle of the room and smacked him three times on the bum with her hand. He was screaming. I still remember the noise her hand made when it connected with his tiny body.

People like her should never be in teaching.

In contrast, the next year, we had Mrs Nicholls. What an angel of a woman. If we were upset or fell, she'd lift us on to her knee and give us a big squishy cuddle that made everything better. She always smiled and even heartily laughed at my jokes, even though I repeatedly messed them up. I still often think of her. She was definitely one of those people who seemed like she was made for the role.

There are shit people, and amazing people, and people with other things going on that we have no idea about. It's life, unfortunately.

Sometimes teachers get fearsome reputations that they can't shake either. I worked with one who was known for being a stickler for the rules in a fairly lax school quite frankly. As the school toughened up to the standards she had always maintained, she kept her "scary" reputation, so while Mrs Smith could tell a child off and give a detention, that was one thing, but if Mrs Jones gave them a detention, you'd have the parents ringing saying they'd heard all about her, and she's a bully and they want their child out of her class.

I'm not saying she was perfect, but then every teacher has bad days sometimes. Her's just always seemed to be "proof" of her unreasonable-ness.