Why are some teachers so unnecessarily mean?

[barhari]

DC1's new teacher is infamous for being very strict - she's fairly old school. The children are genuinely afraid of her. One mum actually specified her child not be put in this strict teacher's form.

She just has such an attitude with the kids - her only form of communication is to berate and tell off. She's fine with adults.

This particular teacher reminds me of a couple of my own - of course, I'm not saying all teachers are like this but I'm just curious how they get away with it? Are they just miserable in themselves? Surely no one thinks this is an effective way of communicating with a child.

There's strict and then there's just plain miserable. Why get into teaching?

In defence of terrifying teachers (of whom I am not one), there are children who adore working in a silent, very strictly ordered environment and thrive in their classes.

I've known many, many fabulous teachers with firm boundaries and a good sense of fairness.

A much smaller number who are strict, nasty and intolerant. Some were jaded at the end of their career and counting down the terms until they could claim their pension. Some were always shit with an apparent dislike of their pupils.

There's normally someone crawling up the ranks between middle management to deputy headship on a power trip. I suspect they shimmy up the greasy pole easily because at every stage their colleagues are happy to see them off ASAP. Some are twattish enough to talk down to their fellow professionals in the unpleasant manner with which they address their pupils.

DS's school often gets a supply teacher in who is an absolute cow. I say this as a former supply teacher who tends to give the benefit ofthe doubt, but I've seen her in action. No acknowledgement of SENs or effort. All the dyslexic children who were in my intervention group loathed her and fist pumped once they'd made their escape from her classroom. She made my dyslexic, dyspraxic 8 yo painfully rewrite his work because it was messy. Of course it's messy, he can't track a straight line, remember the correct way to form letters (or get them the right way round) and holding a pencil hurts.
I did raise with his teacher, do supply staff have açcess to the headlines of SEN to avoid such unfair criticism and impossible standards.

I guess teaching attracts its share of emotionally immature people just like every other occupation.

My DC's form teacher is an English teacher who shouts and throws tantrums when things aren't to her liking. Today apparently she told them that she wants to focus on Drama this year. DC was like, so what else is new??

I have never deliberately been mean in 20 years. I have been strict but never nasty. That's doesn't stop some parents complaining I have been mean to their child. Today a mean teacher is often one who follows up with sanctions and school rules.

Meant to give an example. I was a 'mean bitch' according to one parent as I wouldn't allow her daughter to sit next to her best friend

Why are some shop assistants unnecessarily mean?
Why are some doctors unnecessarily mean?
Why are some factory supervisors unnecessarily mean?

Etc.

Why are some working people unnecessarily mean?

@Emeeno1

Years ago I had a primary school teacher admit to me that she 'didn't like little boys' at a parents evening. The statement arose because I had challenged her after she asked why my son wasn't on Ritalin.

My step mother is a teacher and has the very same opinion. I always feel very sorry for the boys in her class. Such a strange stance to have if you want to be a teacher.

@Pieceofpurplesky I agree that some parents will moan if their child is gently pulled up for doing something they know is wrong. I definitely know a few parents like that! There are also teachers (and it's a tiny minority of them) who are genuinely nasty to kids though.

Obviously every profession has it's nasty people but it's more surprsing in teaching because it's a caring profession so if you don't like dealing with people it's a strange career to choose.

Younger teachers are better Once they’ve been doing it 20 plus years they’ve just had enough of it and got no patience probs don’t even like kids anymore but they need the money and it’s a job Ideal world all teachers would love kids and it the job would be their passion but this is the real world instead

@Skyla2005

Younger teachers are better Once they’ve been doing it 20 plus years they’ve just had enough of it and got no patience probs don’t even like kids anymore but they need the money and it’s a job Ideal world all teachers would love kids and it the job would be their passion but this is the real world instead

What utter nonsense.

I think some folk have been in the job too long, should have got out, had no chance to do so...

Some haven't realised that they are genuinely vile!

I still feel angry now at my secondary maths teacher, she was horrible to me, because she'd been in the job so long she thought she knew everything about everyone.

She berated me every time I had to leave her lesson for a music lesson or arrived late due to a music lesson - not MY fault at 12 to 15 years of age that the school arranged one to one music lessons that would occur extra to the timetabled lessons.

When I asked for help to understand, she would again berate me for the music lessons (which took up no more than 20 minutes of one double period out of a total of five periods of maths (two doubles and one single in a week), even when I had been present for the introduction of a topic and had missed nothing at all.

She'd routinely leave me floundering not understanding something and move on to the next topic, again asking for help would just get me abuse.

I asked if I could change sets... I was in set 1, the top set for maths, achieving a's and b's the year before, she smugly told me that'd do me no good as she taught both set 1 and set 2 together, and set 3 was full....so my only option was to join set 4, as she called it 'the thickies set' (yep, she really did)...

I walked out, went to set 4s classroom and asked if I could join them, was welcomed in and never abused for having a music lesson again.

Ok I only got a C at GCSE for maths because set 4 were all entered for the lower tier paper, but frankly had I stayed in the top set, failing and being ignored and abused, I'd have failed maths entirely.

I am still angry at her, at that age I was struggling with my parents nasty divorce, my mothers raging alcoholism, my sister being dx ADHD and frankly fucking violent, something as head of year this teacher knew all about, but she decided I was lazy, rather than the truth, a teenager who did not find maths natural at all, working her backside off asking for help throughout some pretty nasty stuff.

She even hurled abuse at me the day I was called into the headmaster office out of her lesson 'slacking off AGAIN are you, what excuse is it THIS time'... well the excuse was my mother had collapsed at work and been taken to hospital in a coma, and I was going into temp foster care.... When I returned to the class having been told this, I got as far as 'My mums been taken to hospital in a coma' and she cut me off 'I don't want to hear it, sit down'...

I'd still like to slap the bitch into next week!

Making a child anxious about whether you're going to be an arsehole or delight to deal with on a daily basis is fucking deranged and those people shouldn't be teaching.

This. I know one teacher like this, I’m still mopping up the mess she made with my DS last year. Unpredictable, inconsistent and deeply unfair with him, and a number of other kids in her class. One out of a whole school of excellent teachers, but my god the impact she has on those kids.

PE Teachers often had a hint of sadism when I was in school, I think that they are better now.

I don't know, I wonder this too. I'm a teacher and some teachers just seem to actively dislike children, or just not get them at all. I really don't understand why they wanted to be teachers in the first place.

Strict teachers get the job done. Kids need to toughen up and so do wimpy parents.

@popcornlover I’m not remotely a wimpy parent - when my child tells me the class rules change on a daily basis, that some kids can do X and others aren’t allowed to, when every child in the class describes Miss X as shouting and screaming at my child, when the school acknowledge there are no concerns at all about my child’s behaviour. There’s a problem with the teacher and I won’t tell my child to suck it up and I will be challenging that teacher’s practice.

She got the job done alright, my 7 year olds shattered confidence will attest to that.

@popcornlover Look you know that's nonsense (and if you don't look it up - there's a lot of evidence that shows that people aren't capable of learning when they're scared or anxious). Kids and people in general don't toughen up by being treated badly. People who grow up in supportive environments end up more resilient than those who were treated poorly. Even in the 50s people realised kids needed positive reinforcement not just negative.

@growinggreyer

You choose teaching as a career at the age of 18-20. Several decades later you are still teaching the same age group. Every day you have to explain that no, sniffing the white glue will not have any effect except to spill it and make a mess, and that yes, it is a bad idea to sharpen your pencil and sweep the bits onto the carpet. Etc Etc. You can retire when you reach 67, so it's not all bad. Oh, and Sammy has been sick in the book corner. The cleaners have all gone home so if you could just...

That's ridiculous, they're completely free to do something (anything) else at any time if teaching is making them so miserable

I was a very shy , quiet little 8 year old . Mr Marshall my form teacher was vile to me , I have no idea why . I vividly remember him being at the top of a staircase & shouting down . "I know you're there catsareme because I can smell you " I was mortified & humiliated .52 years later I still remember how I felt .

I think the child who spat his drink in someone else’s face and all over the desk in my classroom today thinks I am very mean

Having said that, I don’t understand why some teachers are just unpleasant all the time. I love talking to my pupils and the majority are really lovely.
There are a growing number of entitled, rude, poorly socialised children though. I can’t believe what comes out of their mouths sometimes.
(Water and a mouth full of spit in the above incident) 😷

SaltyAndFresh

Exactly!

I agree some people are just mean. Some jobs also attract people who want to domineer others and unfortunately, teaching is one of those. Perhaps there are also others who think they're giving the children tough love?

My daughter had a strict teacher, but she treated everyone the same and she loved her.

@Skyla2005

Younger teachers are better Once they’ve been doing it 20 plus years they’ve just had enough of it and got no patience probs don’t even like kids anymore but they need the money and it’s a job Ideal world all teachers would love kids and it the job would be their passion but this is the real world instead

I’ve been teaching 35 years and I really think I’ve become more patient and tolerant as I became more experienced. I still love my job and the children I work with. I’m also lucky though, that I’m not teaching in England where the job seems to put huge demands on teachers.

@Marshmallow91

I still remember almost 25 years ago, a teacher we had who was very elderly. I was only 5 and was terrified of her. My friend Alan laughed when he accidentally spilled something (nervous laughter) and she pulled him by his arm into the middle of the room and smacked him three times on the bum with her hand. He was screaming. I still remember the noise her hand made when it connected with his tiny body.

People like her should never be in teaching.

In contrast, the next year, we had Mrs Nicholls. What an angel of a woman. If we were upset or fell, she'd lift us on to her knee and give us a big squishy cuddle that made everything better. She always smiled and even heartily laughed at my jokes, even though I repeatedly messed them up. I still often think of her. She was definitely one of those people who seemed like she was made for the role.

There are shit people, and amazing people, and people with other things going on that we have no idea about. It's life, unfortunately.

Was this in the U.K.?

Even 25 years ago, teachers definitely were not allowed to smack, it would have been a sackable offence.