Why are some teachers so unnecessarily mean?

[barhari]

DC1's new teacher is infamous for being very strict - she's fairly old school. The children are genuinely afraid of her. One mum actually specified her child not be put in this strict teacher's form.

She just has such an attitude with the kids - her only form of communication is to berate and tell off. She's fine with adults.

This particular teacher reminds me of a couple of my own - of course, I'm not saying all teachers are like this but I'm just curious how they get away with it? Are they just miserable in themselves? Surely no one thinks this is an effective way of communicating with a child.

There's strict and then there's just plain miserable. Why get into teaching?

How much time have you spent in the class with her watching her teach?

Bet I could have been described as 'unnecessarily mean' today when I was very clearly telling somebody the only acceptable reason for them being found out of lesson for the rest of the week would be partial amputation of an arm in Food Tech.

But that's what happens when somebody fake coughs all over a known vulnerable staff member.

@Marshmallow91 gosh that would have only been about 1995!

Because teachers are still human, and some humans are arseholes.

In every profession, there will be a minority who are mean and nasty. It just so happens that when it's a teacher, the effects are rather more keenly felt by many.

There's a teacher like this at my children's school. Most parents complain about her to the school at some stage or another. Thing is, most of the children seem to adore her whilst simultaneously fear her. And she's gone above and beyond for both my children that had her and other parents have said the same. Her attitude works wonders with some kids, but I'd guess she ruins others so I have no answers!

@WitchesGlove and @Matilda400

Yep, in Scotland, around 96'.

I didn't see her again after that year, so I don't know if there was any recourse to her behaviour. To be honest I doubt it.

Our head of sixth form is mean and rude to both pupils and adults, not all though, she has her favourites. I bypass her - Go either to her deputy or the HT. Ds was really wincing at her behaviour last week, thankfully he only had her for a one off situation - they joined her usual class but he was shocked how she encouraged the class to laugh and mock the weaker members of the class by calling them names and openly mocking them. Why? She’s a horrible bully!

There's a difference between being strict and being unfair.

I remember a teacher in DS's school who had a reputation for being utterly fearsome. When he went into her class, I trembled for him, but actually he flourished. He was quite quiet and shy, and being in a calm environment where the class extroverts were kept in their place and everyone had a fair crack of the whip in answering questions etc was exactly what he needed. Unfortunately the following year he was put in a class where the teacher was the reverse and he went back into his shell; she did however have the grace to admit that she hadn't understood why he had come up with such good reports until she saw some written work he had done under strictly controlled, quiet conditions.

On the other hand, DD encountered a teacher who was superficially nice but terminally lazy with a tendency to blame the pupils for her own cock-ups. She wasn't at all impressed when the teacher lost her homework and told her off for not doing it, then gave her back the "lost" piece of work duly marked without so much as a hint of an apology.

My mil was a teacher and she terrorised her class I don’t make reservations locally in my surname, I have a business and don’t tell people my surname,
Because they know her and stopped using my shop when they realised who I was my husband and his sisters had an awful childhood

There's a difference between being strict and being unfair. Of course there is, strict is fine but strict, unfair and mean as a combo - not so much.

I'm a teacher and have worked in a good number of schools over the years. You hope that teachers enjoy working with children/young people and have good people skills alongside their subject knowledge. In general, I think that is true of most teachers I have worked with, they do care even if they (and me too) make mistakes sometimes. But a very small percentage are not at all nice and I wouldn't want my child taught by them either. Bullies seek positions of power. I often used to think there should have been specific screening for this before ITT. There was someone on my course who was truly horrible and now terrorises children and staff as SLT.

I think there are a lot of teachers that buy into the fetishising of their role. They can't accept that they are bad at their job. It's always excused that they are 'only human' and under a lot of pressure. That's why they think they can get away with behaving like that. Completely unprofessional and in the real world they would be out the door for being incompetent.

Because in any job, you get people who are bad at it, or have no empathy or whatever and really shouldn't be in the job at all. It just stands out more when its teachers, or nurses, or even shop assistants in some cases so it seems theres more bad people.

This sounds like old school style of strict teaching. Did not do any pupils I knew any harm (though not overtly conducive either).

It really depends on the circumstances and type of schooling involved. Well behaved and well manned independent fee paying and high achieving state sector schools possibly does not require this strict military style disciplinary approach. However in socially economic depressed inner cities with high criminality and problematic pupils it may do some good and turn some tougher children into good respectful and able young adults with direction and inspiration to do good and move upwards in life to achieve their potential. So pros and cons but mostly cons as today's children are more opinionated and less innocent and naive than us oldies!

My sons teacher at his previous school told me and my husband that he was annoying, that the class didn't like him and the bullying he endured he brought on himself. My husband and I were in shock that a teacher could speak about any child that way. The deputy head stepped in before she could go onto something else. My son never went back.

My son at that point had undiagnosed asd and adhd. This woman stripped every bit of confidence he had. She knew he was being assessed as she had filled out the paperwork.

I reported her to the headteacher at the school and the la.

Do you remember those teachers at school who hated entire families - my history teacher was like that - she told my mother she’d seen my name on the register and thought not another one but was most surprised when I was apparently an absolute delight. She was a nightmare, very unpredictable in mood but sunglasses usually indicated a hangover and we all knew how vicious she would be to anyone who dared to look the wrong way in her lesson - she was a bitch through and through - she looked on us like we were scum.

YABU.

1. Your thread title should have said "Why is my child' teacher......."

But no. Goady thread title.

1. You didnt give a single instance of her behaviour

Goady thread content.

1. You haven't been back.

Goady.

All on your very first thread. . Welcome to MN, barhari

One of the teachers at my primary school was like this. She taught year 1 and used to scream and shout at us. Sent kids to the headmaster for tiny things. Told me off for crying when I cut my knees falling over in the playground!

She’d been there so long some of the parents had been in her class too! They said she was even scarier in the old days and took the slipper to them!

And yet out of school she was a nice lady. As a teenager I used to walk her dog (she was getting on a bit and retired) she was always lovely to me. We had tea and cake and chatted. She told me she’d lost her fiancée when she was young then fell in love with a married man, loved him for 30 years. So she had a sad life.

The screeching scary woman in the classroom was an act. It wouldn’t be tolerated nowadays (I hope). I think it was her way of controlling her class as she had no control anywhere else.

for all of PPs / their DC who have had to deal with these awful teachers.
I feel very grateful for the kind teachers my DC have had so far.

@echt

YABU.

1. Your thread title should have said "Why is my child' teacher......."

But no. Goady thread title.

1. You didnt give a single instance of her behaviour

Goady thread content.

1. You haven't been back.

Goady.

All on your very first thread. . Welcome to MN, barhari

Not sure why people are taking the hump.

The op said why are SOME teachers so unnecessarily mean. Perfectly fair and accurate question.

A pp said "oh what a goady title. Imagine if she said 'all parents are shit' instead huh "? Well, she didn't say ALL teachers. She said some. Honestly, no need to wheel out the daffodils. As I said, thankfully, I've never experienced this, as a student or a parent, but people taking the hump at the op asking a perfectly legitimate question in a perfectly fair way and not generalizing about teachers sound really silly. And the daffodils look silly in this context too, which is a shame, as there have been teacher bashing threads in the past. This isn't one of them, so move along daffodil wielders!

@Emeeno1

Years ago I had a primary school teacher admit to me that she 'didn't like little boys' at a parents evening. The statement arose because I had challenged her after she asked why my son wasn't on Ritalin.

I think we came across the same teacher! My son (undiagnosed in reception) spent so much time in the headmasters office after being sent their by his teacher they became really good buddies. She would send him there for drawing on the table (he was 4). Weirdly enough he wasn't any trouble to the head, and all the other teachers after her. She hated all the boys and she scared them all. She was only young - weird thing was she went on to be the SENCo. Christ knows how that worked out. Fortunately the rest of his teachers were lovely.

The op said why are SOME teachers so unnecessarily mean. Perfectly fair and accurate question. A pp said "oh what a goady title. Imagine if she said 'all parents are shit' instead huh daffodil"? Well, she didn't say ALL teachers. She said some

Can't you read?

The OP said some teachers based on nothing that happened to her DC because, er...nothing happened.

I'll break it down for you:

The OP's OP:

It was based on one teacher, so how can that be some ?
No evidence of any kind given as to mean behaviour. Not sure what the PPs are responding to as they have nothing to compare it to, no basis for saying the OP is reasonable.

To generalise on the basis of no evidence is at best misguided or a bit hard of thinking, or goady.

@echt

The op said why are SOME teachers so unnecessarily mean. Perfectly fair and accurate question. A pp said "oh what a goady title. Imagine if she said 'all parents are shit' instead huh daffodil"? Well, she didn't say ALL teachers. She said some

Can't you read?

The OP said some teachers based on nothing that happened to her DC because, er...nothing happened.

I'll break it down for you:

The OP's OP:

It was based on one teacher, so how can that be some ?
No evidence of any kind given as to mean behaviour. Not sure what the PPs are responding to as they have nothing to compare it to, no basis for saying the OP is reasonable.

To generalise on the basis of no evidence is at best misguided or a bit hard of thinking, or goady.

Yes, I can read . Are you this hostile in person?

I was referring to another post where a pp said this was like someone saying "why are ALL parents shit". So, you know, perhaps your own reading and comprehension skills could use some work.

You indeed said some and you also took the hump, which I think is really a bit (and I never use this term) rather snowflakey of you.

If a pp said "why are some police officers too agressive" or "why are some nurses so unkind" or "why are some shop assistants so surly" and then give JUST ONE example, I also would have thought that was a perfectly legitimate question, so this isn't anything to do with being anti-teachers.

My friend(she loves children) who is a teacher, told me that there are so many teachers who seem to dislike children that she wonders why they went into teaching.