Why are some teachers so unnecessarily mean?

[barhari]

DC1's new teacher is infamous for being very strict - she's fairly old school. The children are genuinely afraid of her. One mum actually specified her child not be put in this strict teacher's form.

She just has such an attitude with the kids - her only form of communication is to berate and tell off. She's fine with adults.

This particular teacher reminds me of a couple of my own - of course, I'm not saying all teachers are like this but I'm just curious how they get away with it? Are they just miserable in themselves? Surely no one thinks this is an effective way of communicating with a child.

There's strict and then there's just plain miserable. Why get into teaching?

@lazylinguist

The whataboutery is hilarious - some professional teachers are mean...well what about some parents their mean too! What the fuck has poor parenting to do with a professional being crap! Race to the bottom...if parents treat their kids like shit we can too?

Nobody is saying that. The OP's question was "Why are some teachers unnecessarily mean?" And the answer is: "Because some people are unnecessarily mean". It would a bit odd to expect any job to have no mean people in it. That's not how the world is, unfortunately.

If teachers actually do things that constitute misconduct according to the terms of their contract, they can indeed be got rid of if they fail to mend their ways. If they are just not very nice... well, that's not so easy to solve. Not least because a lot of the time how nice/mean a teacher appears to be depends on the opinion of the individual child or parent. Admittedly there are teachers who are almost universally disliked, as there are unpopular people in any job.

I think the OP's question was actually more specific, when you read the full op. Why would a teacher/some teachers, be mean mainly to children and not the adults. It also begs the question why, if someone appears to dislike children, would they choose to do a job which means they have to interact with children a lot every day?

There are many threads saying words to the effect of "why are some parents so horrible to their kids?" and the ops on those threads, rightly, tend to get a lot of support. Nobody says, "what a silly question! You get mean people everywhere. It isn't just parents chuh".

Of course it was specific. Journalists have specific briefs.

@buggeroffvirus

Iamnottheone Just because I was in the school in 60s and things were different then does not make it right. And men being able to rape their wives !. Do you really think that this does not still happen because the law has changed. Children learn as they watch adults. My class mates witnessed that it was acceptable to beat a child. humiliate someone just because you are in a position of power. In the same school I also had lovely teachers and I remember them well. A child spends a lot of time in school and needs good role models. But there is always the exception. It is this exception that will do untold damage no matter what year it is.

That wasn't what I said. I said that assuming that the things that happened 60 years ago are still happening today is a deeply flawed starting point for any well-reasoned argument.

60 years ago there will have been teachers who exerted physical power over children - it was both legal and expected. Do you genuinely believe that there are still the same number of teachers behaving in that way today? If not, I'm afraid your experiences with a teacher 60 years ago do not hold much weight in a discussion about teachers actively working in the current time period.

*The idea that no teacher can be ctitisized is clearly silly.

There does seem to be a touch of the white rhinos around teachers. I don't get why

The idea that any teacher would say that no teacher can be criticised is what's silly. Have you actually ever heard a teacher say that? All teachers know that bad teachers exist - we've all met some! Stop making up things that teachers supposedly say*

I didn't say that teachers actually say this - that would be absurd if they did. But those I know (as opposed to having been taught by or who taught my child) tend to stress the worthiness of their career over others, irrespective of their actual impact on those they teach.

Oh mn teachers go berserk about so-called teacher bashing. I don’t know why.

As a kid I used to feel really sorry for the children of teachers - I could not get my head around living with someone so mean all the time, it never occurred to me that they were less mean with their own kids - maybe even a bit human with them.😂

I remember a PE teacher who was a real sadistic twat when I was at school (in the 90s). Clearly loved picking on the weediest kids. I remember her screaming at me to keep running, whilst I was bent over and throwing up in a hedge. I hope behaviour like that wouldn't be tolerated any more

We had problems with one of DD’s teachers last year.

She just picked on DD relentlessly.

DD has some SEN and a pupil passport in school - every other teacher was brilliant and stuck to it. Her maths teacher went out of her way to do the complete opposite of what was on the passport.

The passport had really simple stuff on it, for example, DD struggles with crippling anxiety and one of the things was not to ask her questions in front of the class. Every bloody lesson she’d pick DD to answer aloud in front of the class.

Her school mentor and I made an official complaint in the end. Then lockdown happened and DD doesn’t have the teacher this year so it’s been brushed under the carpet a bit

I don’t get why you’d go out of your way to be so downright horrible instead of following a very simple pupil passport

@notwhattheydo

Oh mn teachers go berserk about so-called teacher bashing. I don’t know why.

You should blame "teachers" for not teaching you critical thinking skills.

Do enlighten me fripp, since you obviously think you are superior in intellect to me.

notwhattheydo

Why would I waste my time time on such a pointless enterprise?

There’s a shock

Our DS was treated so badly by a teacher at secondary school, she was a total bully, my DS is very resilient in nature, he was a total mess when I collected him from school one day, he couldn’t even talk, his friends had to explain to me what had happened, The teacher wasn’t so full of herself when she was in a meeting with her school management team & my DH. Bullies are always cowards. It was very telling that school didn’t back her up. She got what was coming.

@notwhattheydo

There’s a shock

That I won't bite or I think that you have an unmovable views? :)

No, I just think it was designed to be a snarky comment you don’t want to explain because it will be obvious you were just being snarky.

So your comment wasn't designed to be snarky/goady?

It was as we know a comment designed to goad teachers in to responding.

What you are pulling now is the "I'm so innocent, I didn't mean anything by it" BS

and are annoyed that

1/ it didn't work
and
2/ you have been pulled up on it.

Even your response to me is designed to provoke an answer that you can twist in to a "oh look at what teachers do"

Frankly I pity you.

Of course it was meant to be snarky. It was a response to everyone trying to shut an OP down.

You pity me? Don’t bother. I have a great life!

notwhattheydo

Don’t bother. I have a great life!

I'm pleased for you

@Herewefall - interesting. I wonder if it is the same school Our school too had an appalling attitude to bullying. They had no anti-bullying policy, which I mentioned to Ofsted when the report came up and they were forced to produce one. When anyone complained about bullying issues, they were told by the Head: We don't have bullying issues at this school. It's a happy school. All schools have bullying issues. Happy schools deal with them. Crap schools don't.

@Roselilly36

Our DS was treated so badly by a teacher at secondary school, she was a total bully, my DS is very resilient in nature, he was a total mess when I collected him from school one day, he couldn’t even talk, his friends had to explain to me what had happened, The teacher wasn’t so full of herself when she was in a meeting with her school management team & my DH. Bullies are always cowards. It was very telling that school didn’t back her up. She got what was coming.

What did she do?

I confess. I was a bit mean today. One of my year 9s sat on a desk, span around and farted as loud as he could, whilst his twin brother was throwing hand sanitiser in the eyes of other pupils. Turns out mum has packed monster for their lunches.

Teachers can, at times, be mean. There are also a few whose life job is to be mean.

As a recently retired teacher I get absolutely furious and really upset at the attitude of some parents on MN that younger teacher equals better. . I put my all into my job and I believe my experience was appreciated by both my colleagues and the parents of the pupils I taught. I'd hate to think any of them had negative thoughts about my competence and attitude solely because of my age. And I stand by my comment that 'bitter old hag' is not an acceptable way to speak about an older woman.

@Downton57

As a recently retired teacher I get absolutely furious and really upset at the attitude of some parents on MN that younger teacher equals better. . I put my all into my job and I believe my experience was appreciated by both my colleagues and the parents of the pupils I taught. I'd hate to think any of them had negative thoughts about my competence and attitude solely because of my age. And I stand by my comment that 'bitter old hag' is not an acceptable way to speak about an older woman.

Who said that? That old teachers are bad teachers?

I saw a post saying that teaching has become harder. That doesn't mean that newer teachers are better. It might mean the opposite in some cases, as they are so desperate to fill the roles in some subjects in some areas.

@WhereTheCrawdadsSing This is one example, on this thread. "Some of just arseholes who love the power trip. Some are just plain bullies.
In my experience I’ve always found them to be older
I feel teaching has gotten A LOT harder in recent decades and think perhaps many older teachers attitudes towards the kids have soured at it being such a different world."

And this charmer: Younger teachers are better Once they’ve been doing it 20 plus years they’ve just had enough of it and got no patience probs don’t even like kids anymore but they need the money.