Why are some teachers so unnecessarily mean?

[barhari]

DC1's new teacher is infamous for being very strict - she's fairly old school. The children are genuinely afraid of her. One mum actually specified her child not be put in this strict teacher's form.

She just has such an attitude with the kids - her only form of communication is to berate and tell off. She's fine with adults.

This particular teacher reminds me of a couple of my own - of course, I'm not saying all teachers are like this but I'm just curious how they get away with it? Are they just miserable in themselves? Surely no one thinks this is an effective way of communicating with a child.

There's strict and then there's just plain miserable. Why get into teaching?

In fact, I'm reminded of the Modern Family episode where Mitch and Cam want to switch a Lily into another class because her teacher was 'strict' and the other was supposed to be sweetness and light. In the end, Lily begged to stay in her original class because it's only in that class that any actual learning was happening.

The idea that no teacher can be ctitisized is clearly silly.

There does seem to be a touch of the white rhinos around teachers. I don't get why

Some people are fuckers, there are fuckers in every walk of life.

The vilest little bully at my senior school went on to be a teacher. She was poison.

Just saying.

I don’t think strictness is necessarily a bad thing. One of the best teachers I ever had was strict - not in a nasty way but she had such an air of authority that nobody ever messed about in her lessons.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER
The vilest little bully at my senior school went on to be a teacher. She was poison.
Just saying.

The vilest little bully at my senior school went on to be a builder/white van man.

Your point doesn't really mean anything.

OP still not been back then?
Wonder when the article bashing teachers is due out?

I once had a teacher as my live in landord. He was an absolute NIGHTMARE. Unbelievably controlling in terms of rules, chores etc. Leave your washing in the machine for 5 minutes after it was done then woe betide you! He would even go in my room when I was at work to inspect it. Got a whatsapp every day for every slight digression. I lasted a month and I told him to shove the room and I moved out

I fully believe a lot of teachers just get off on the control and that's the only reason they go into the profession

I have two polar opposite children.

One is quiet, studious, incredibly intelligent. Student council, always winning awards at school, very well liked by students and teachers alike.

The other is full of energy, always wiggling, incredibly intelligent. But dyslexic. Very well liked by children and teachers alike. What she lacks in the ability to shut the hell up, she makes up for in enthusiasm and pure, pure kindness. I'm yet to meet another human as kind as she is.

My youngest had a teacher who was, awful. She was one of the worst people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. My daughter refused to read, was needy, frustrated and explosive at home - a total character change.

It took my eldest speaking up to the SLT to get anyone to listen to us about my youngests teacher. All we were ever told was "this school doesn't have teachers that shout" "Mrs tosser would never have done that" etc etc

In one term, not a single child in her class got a merit note. It didn't come to a head until she gave my eldest a red card in a class she covered because my eldest was "INGORING instructions".... She wasn't INGORING them, she didn't realise she was being addressed because this teacher was calling her by a different name. Think "Jean" for "Jennifer"

So all I can conclude, is this teacher was a bitter old hag who was a sociopath.

Since that teacher my youngest has flourished because her next teacher worked with her, and her difficulties. My point in description of my girls is, it isn't always cause of the kids.

A bitter old hag...wow. That's a horrendous way to speak about your child's teacher. And Teachers 'get off on the control'...about a man you've never seen working in a classroom with kids?? For crying out loud. No wonder teachers are scrambling to leave.

@Downton57

A bitter old hag...wow. That's a horrendous way to speak about your child's teacher. And Teachers 'get off on the control'...about a man you've never seen working in a classroom with kids?? For crying out loud. No wonder teachers are scrambling to leave.

I'm sorry but you won't find the deference that teachers crave on here, we're all adults you know. The pp's teacher does sound like a bitter old hag...

So moral of the story is as with all walks of life there are heroes and there are also zeroes!

Some teachers are beyond imaginable out of this world superperlative others at the other extreme are unbelievable failures who are not only unfit for purpose but dangerous to others under their tutelage.

Those with bad demeanour and negativity evidently fall into the crap and useless category.

I don't believe there can be many that fall through the net with this style of bad teaching. Not with upwards abs downwards feedback and a pattern of legitimate concerns raised by pupil parents etc.

@GreyGardens88 Deference? I've been on here long enough thanks, to know teachers are shown zero respect on here. But if we are indeed all adults we should know better than to use ageist and misogynist terms, and bitter old hag is both.

Some are on an ego trip, of course.

But also some kids respond really well to strict teachers. It makes being in their good graces somewhere even better, because it's hard for them to attain. Therefore they work hard. One of my brothers responded really well to almost army style teaching, whereas I used to hate them (often the same teachers!) because I thought they are petty about minor issues and had a bad attitude.

I think it may be wise to examine why some pupils are so problematic, challenging and disruptive to be educated.

Probably not going to be popular amongst some mums here but sometimes hard home truths are necessary to address and rectify root causes.

I think people tend to treat you how you treat others.

@downton57

How else would you like me to describe the woman who caused the only tears we had in 12 months (other than injury related tears)

Both of my children are well behaved, well liked children. As I said, you'd be hard pushed to find a kinder, more eager to please child than my youngest. And a woman in s position of authority that is there to guide and educate instead belittled, hurt and nearly destroyed a keen desire to learn in an innocent 7 year old. Yes, I think she was bitter, and she is old. And yes, a hag. She was an absolute witch and shouldn't be teaching.

It's not about respect for teachers, I don't care what someone's profession is. I care if they're a good and kind person. This woman is not that. Anyone that seemingly takes joy in upsetting 7 yr olds because they're struggling with reading is very clearly in the wrong job.

If you want a saint hood do something to earn it. Being a teacher does not absolve someone of the need to be good and decent.

Also, as a general rule I think teachers do do good jobs. I wouldn't do it. I don't like children. Or noise. Or mess. So I stayed away from that career path. Simple really isn't it?

PP I think, when you're discussing secondary school age as students, you have a fair point. They're actively choosing to be disruptive and unpleasant to teach. And parents need to look very very hard at themselves if they have one of those children, because they've internalised the message it's ok to be a douche.

Lower primary? Kids are just generally douches at that age aren't they?

My childrens art teacher is like this. Really strict and not very nice. My youngest is year 7 so its his first week. They were lining up outside the classroom and one of the boys was facing the wrong way and she went mad shouting at him. Then she was cross and moody the rest of the lesson too. My eldest has told us about her before. Its such a shame because art shoukd be fun and it totally put my eldest off. He hates art because of her.

Simply put can't the (very rare minority) of bad teachers be disciplined and excluded as with pupils? Is it a case of evidential burden or what is with the inertia and status quo in retaining such bad problem teachers if they are doing more harm than good and fall well below minimum professional standards and expectations?

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

I think it may be wise to examine why some pupils are so problematic, challenging and disruptive to be educated.

Probably not going to be popular amongst some mums here but sometimes hard home truths are necessary to address and rectify root causes.

I think people tend to treat you how you treat others.

Yes, good idea to examine how some pupils' bad behaviour impacts on their teachers and classmates. Why don't you start your own thread doing that?

However, the op isn't talking about disruptive pupils. We all know they exist. OP was discussing one particular teacher, and wondering how it can be that, you do sometimes hear, or learn, of these teachers, who somehow have dug their heels in, have chosen to stay, and managed to stay, in their jobs, when clearly, they do not suit that job anymore. That is a good question for anyone who isn't leaping to the defensive tbh.

Children have to receive an education. That is a legal requirement. It doesn't have to be at school, but they need to receive an education.

Teachers do not have to teach. If they hate their jobs and dislike the parents and children they have to deal with as part of their jobs, it would make sense, to any reasonable person, that they move on and find something else, freeing up those positions for someone else. Someone who actually likes it.

When my mum used to interview teachers, the competition was absolutely fierce. There seem to be many qualified and excellent teachers around. Why on earth should we tolerate and never mention the bad teachers, because some pupils are disruptive? The existence of disruptive pupils does not mean that teachers are all saints and doing a perfect job.

One problem is that, despite the hardships of teaching, (and I do not doubt there are many hardships), some of the benefits can be hard to give up.

For balance, it is absolutely not something unique to the teaching profession. I hear similar things from a small number of GPs. They do not like their jobs. They chose GP as a specialism, because of the work life balance. So, they go to work, have a crap time, but they get more time at home and more predictable and sociable hours. That is the pay off some GPs accept. They would rather be miserable at work in order not to be at work as much or in the middle of the night etc. But you'd be pretty pissed off if your GP took it out on you that they weren't suited to their job and if challenged, whipped out a daffodil and said "well maybe we should examine why so many patients are hard to treat".

@JustFrustrated
And a woman in s position of authority that is there to guide and educate instead belittled, hurt and nearly destroyed a keen desire to learn in an innocent 7 year old

What exactly did she do that caused this?

Lower primary? Kids are just generally douches at that age aren't they?

Definitely not. At that age, they are a relatively reasonable reflection of how they are being raised. There are some exceptions to this, of course, but in general.

In fact, I'd say that it was during the teenage years that they are more noticeably different and more, to use your word, douchy.

@Iamnotthe1

Set unrealistic targets for a child who clearly, yet was too young to be assessed, dyslexic.

Kept her in for ten minutes of every break and lunch time because she hadn't completed her written work - which was because my DD, as stated above, is dyslexic so she was struggling with it. Had it been due to being disruptive, hell yes keep her in. Cause being disruptive and disrespectful to your teachers and class mates is not acceptable, Id have backed this 100% otherwise.

Spoke to her horribly - well by her - the entire class, given what other parents said.

Refused to let her change her reading book despite the fact she hadn't completed it in 4 weeks - surely a teacher knows that sometimes the block is worth working around. Instead of consistently pushing away at it?

But the one occasion that made her cry? When they were talking about what they wanted to do when they grew up and my DD said she wanted to be a vet, because she loves animals

The teacher told her she wasn't smart enough so she'd need to choose something else. Go on, defend that. You tell me how on any level it's acceptable to say that to a 7 year old.

It was my friend, who shock horror is a teacher, who told me to complain at that point.

Funnily enough, my DD has flourished under her subsequent teacher. She has got more confident - which means her school work has improved. Cause she's no longer worried and scared her brain can work on the actual problem.

I'm not a teacher basher. I just don't think they're Saints. Like any other career you have the odd bad one. They do a job I couldn't do, I do a job many people probably wouldn't do. It's swings and roundabouts. In my house though, we support the school outwardly even if we think that they're not necessarily fair - because a) the teacher sees it all, we get an edited version, b)you need class wide discipline and c)it's our choice to send them to state education so we have to get on board.

Also, I had some amazing teachers, and like 90% of the population, I had one teacher that was perfectly vile that I remember clear as day 24 years later. As an adult I'm still upset by her and her treatment of me, but I have distance so can almost laugh about the terribleness. A child living with it day to day still, can't. And a bad teacher can be far more corrosive to a child's ability to learn in all areas, than a bad ... PR rep can be for example.

@JustFrustrated
Go on, defend that.

I think you've misinterpreted the purpose of my question. I am not attempting to, nor do I intend to, defend the actions of a teacher I've never met over events that took place in a classroom I wasn't present in.

I asked because I was curious as to how this opinion of this teacher had formed in your mind. There are a growing number of school staff who are carrying the label of 'strict', 'nasty' or being called a 'bitch' for things that are purely perception-based, such as not choosing their child to be Mary in the play or for the Star of the Week, etc. From your answer, there are some things that I'd say could be perception-based, depending on the specifics, but others that are clearly not.

For example, in the setting of targets, one person's unrealistic would be another's aspirational. I'd also say that children sometimes 'finishing off' in breaks and lunches is also not uncommon (although I personally don't do that) and is in some cases used to prove that said child needs extra time for exams and other assessments as any access arrangements for assessments must be part of normal classroom practice. However, if it's happening regularly then there is an issue there that needs further exploration.

However, telling a child that they should lower their aspirations is not acceptable and would not be a perception-based judgement.

Teachers do not have to teach. If they hate their jobs and dislike the parents and children they have to deal with as part of their jobs, it would make sense, to any reasonable person, that they move on and find something else, freeing up those positions for someone else. Someone who actually likes it.

When my mum used to interview teachers, the competition was absolutely fierce. There seem to be many qualified and excellent teachers around

No, there is a teacher shortage, and a crisis in recruitment and retention of teachers, and this has been the case for some time. Your comment iabout your mum interviewing teachers is purely anecdotal. The availability does vary from area to area and subject to subject though.

I’ve worked with a teacher before who I honestly feel was just evil. I won’t go into it.
I’ve also worked with colleagues who are lovely, kind, compassionate, caring, etc...
we’re just people. Some of us are incredible and some of us are shit, and a lot of us are in between those extremes.

The idea that no teacher can be ctitisized is clearly silly.

There does seem to be a touch of the white rhinos around teachers. I don't get why

The idea that any teacher would say that no teacher can be criticised is what's silly. Have you actually ever heard a teacher say that? All teachers know that bad teachers exist - we've all met some! Stop making up things that teachers supposedly say!