Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP you still haven't said what PST year means. I think this is massively important to your thread. If it IS a misspell of past/last then I think it's only fair that child gets a turn as well as yours this year. If, as the teachers says, they are passionate about it then it's a shame they missed out on almost half of the year last school year. If the shoe was on the other foot I'm sure you wouldn't be complaining

I'm going against the grain here and I do think you should quietly mention it to the teacher - I'd just say of course your daughter will share and you realise that teacher can't adjust the roles now however your DD is disappointed, she did put a lot into researching for her speech and she has had a bit of a knock to her confidence that it's considered she needs a partner when that was never mentioned before the election. It could be useful info for the teacher to realise this last minute decision has had an impact or the teacher may be able to give you a better insight into why this happened.

Op has already said that she has encouraged her daughter to share the role gracefully.
She isn't storming down to the school all guns blazing.
How is that overreacting? Or are we just supposed to agree with everything teachers do and say?
Op's dd has a right to be disappointed. This is an important age in terms of self confidence etc. And it sounds like it has been knocked by a thoughtless act from her teacher. She should have explained before the vote that it was a shared position.

A lot depends on how you react, in this situation.
She will take her cues from you, in reacting to what has happened.

So it's important to acknowledge how your child feels, imo, and also to encourage her to see how the situation can work.

It is always the really popular/highly confident children who win these roles when put solely to a class vote. There can be capable children, interested in a subject, who never win the role because their friendship group is small and so they don’t get enough votes. It tells children nothing about true democracy and justice, and everything about spin and popularity.
The other child is passionate about eco issues but not popular enough to win, so the teacher is trying to be fair by sharing the role . I understand why your daughter feels cross at sharing, but as the process is unfair to start with, this is a way of redressing the balance.

@Starlight39

I'm going against the grain here and I do think you should quietly mention it to the teacher - I'd just say of course your daughter will share and you realise that teacher can't adjust the roles now however your DD is disappointed, she did put a lot into researching for her speech and she has had a bit of a knock to her confidence that it's considered she needs a partner when that was never mentioned before the election. It could be useful info for the teacher to realise this last minute decision has had an impact or the teacher may be able to give you a better insight into why this happened.

I agree that a quiet word with the teacher might help too.

The shit teachers are navigating this year, of all years, and this is the sort of thing people think they have headspace for. Honestly.

Also, given that this is an Eco role, which she has researched, then she must realise that collaborative action is everything. Addressing ecological problems needs a community response, they can do something much more interesting as a duo, or even better as a little group.

Equally deserving child gets overlooked for role as not popular enough would have been the real unfairness here OP.

I think the OP and daughter should read a copy of The Butterfly Club by Jacqueline Wilson. Lovely story and shows why teachers are very clever and sometimes get children who wouldn't normally be friends to work together.

If the teacher didn’t want an election she shouldn’t have held one. This isn’t an appointed role, it’s an elected one. I can see how well the “collaboration” will go with the other child involved. If the vote was a lesson in democracy she has just taught the opposite.

We know nothing about the interloper child. Maybe she isn’t the shy genius people suggest. Maybe her parents have gone in and complained? She didn’t even stand for the role. I do think this situation suggests a huge lack of consistency on the school’s part.

@CharityDingle

A lot depends on how you react, in this situation. She will take her cues from you, in reacting to what has happened.

So it's important to acknowledge how your child feels, imo, and also to encourage her to see how the situation can work.

We reacted the same with all three of our children and had very different outcomes.

I think it's how you react and OP's already said they're being positive with their child but I also think it's the child's personality and existing confidence levels and mix of experiences that affect the long term impact on the child.

I don't think the OP done anything wrong here - I would say it it's looking likely that this year at school might be a difficult one - try and make sure child has outside groups and opportunities outside the school envrionment.

@LividLaughLovely my thoughts exactly

Sharing and collaboration is a great skill.
If your daughter can do that, it will surely be duly noted.

Not sure what a PST child is?

Perhaps there is background to the story that you don't know about.

Nothing to get het up about though. It isn't like your daughter was usurped by the 'PST' child.

Normally I would say YABU, but I’ve been reading ‘What are you still salty about?’ thread, and there was a woman who won a literary competition at school but the prize was given to a boy as they felt he needed it for his university entrance application . They said they thought OP could handle it as ‘she’s so mature’, but in actual fact they knew she needed a boost to her own confidence.

I can totally believe some teachers screw some kids over now.

@SirVixofVixHall

Equally deserving child gets overlooked for role as not popular enough would have been the real unfairness here OP.

True!...Pure passion for ecology rather than 'popularity' would make it fairer. Merit. It should have been chosen on merit, ideally, rather than 'who has most friends'.

I think it is a bit unfair. OP is being told not to say anything to school but it's highly likely a parent of the other child has done so. Lots of children have missed out on 'opportunities' in the last six months that will never come round again and the more useful lesson would be events have been out of our control and we should put it down to experience. It also puts last years child over the others who stood for the vote this year.

No I wouldn't contact school as it is small fry and these things are the gift of the teacher. Plenty of threads on here about the quiet kids overlooked for behaviour/improvement certificates. Look outside school to support your child's interest with nature/eco activities.

As others have said this is a classic popularity contest and you feel they're pissing on her bonfire.
Yes it's not fair, yes it's also not fair a pandemic meant the other child didn't get their full year. However, you're the parent. There are many sides to this, not 1 side is right or wrong, it's all about teaching compromise, collaboration and being a good citizen - your role is to help your child with this.
If you REALLY feel the need to interfere maybe suggest to the teachers that the last pupil was given a term to co-lead and then your child goes it alone after Christmas ... but honestly, it's the teachers call and you'd probably be seen as being a bit of a dick

Lessons to be learned for everyone here - not least you and your child

Contact the school if you're that unhappy

Oh, yes, do, because they have nothing more important to worry about at the moment have they? Learning that life can be a bit unfair, in one's own opinion, is a valuable life lesson.

Was this other child one of the five that prepared and gave speeches?

Can I suggest that we close down all the "Karen" bullshit by reporting the sad, misogynistic, classist posters who think it's OK.
The sooner HQ add it to their filter of unacceptable insults the better.

Accept what is thrown at you.
Roll over don’t make a fuss.
Life’s not fair, suck it up buttercup.
Don’t question.
Comply.

Is that really what we want for our girls? Really?

I totally get all the ‘yeah, yeah, never mind’, but I do feel there is something more fundamental here.

I think I’d mention it OP, not in a ‘I care’, but my DD cares and I do feel it’s a poor message.

My DD2 (now 8 and about to start year 4) stood for the position of class rep in year 2. She did a really good presentation, which she received praise from her class teacher for, but she lost out to another child in the class vote. This was fine, as the other child won fair and square. I think she and the other kids who produced presentations for the election were then passed over by a child that didn't stand at all, they would have felt understandably disappointed that the other child was appointed without having to do anything to prepare.

This isn't fair on the other children who stood in the election. Surely, if it was felt that the role needed to be shared, the place should have gone to one of the other candidates and not to a child who didn't even bother to do a presentation?

I think PST means:

Previous School Term

Makes sense. It also makes it obvious why this child was chosen - as she didn’t get to do anything in this role during the term she was elected.

@Osirus

Yes, that's a fair point and makes sense.