Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

Why bother having an election if they are going to then ignore the results? These elections are just a bit crap altogether, as they are often popularity contests as much as anything. My DD wanted to be French ambassador for her class. There were 2 positions and 2 candidates. She did her speech, came second, and then the teacher decided that there should be one boy and one girl, so she randomly allocated the second place to a boy, who hadn't done anything. I didn't complain, because I think there are more important things in life, but it has put my daughter off trying for anything else.

@mrsBtheparker

Contact the school if you're that unhappy

Oh, yes, do, because they have nothing more important to worry about at the moment have they? Learning that life can be a bit unfair, in one's own opinion, is a valuable life lesson.

Hear hear. Please note op that many schools have cancelled all lunch time and after school activities.

If you kick up a fuss about such a trivial matter (and it is trivial in the current circumstances, whatever you may think) then be prepared for your daughter's school to follow suit.

Such things are a luxury at the moment.
They also rely upon staff working during their hard earned break.
I think that a bit of empathy may be needed.

@jessstan2

WTF is an eco monitor and what does she have to do, spy on people, count their plastic? Meh. A job for goody two shoes.

It sounds like a big fuss about nothing.

Don’t be so nasty. Within primary school it’s a very important role and much coveted by the children. To them it’s a very big deal helps boost a child’s confidence and morale. This is a young child probably having their first leadership role.

Advise OP that her dc can share the role and that she need not be so sensitive about it but there’s no need to sneer at the child.

@Hippee I can see why your dd was out off. I think many people are missing the point on this thread.

Would this sort of thing happen at private school? I’ve never been so I don’t know!

I think this just shows that the school havent come up with a good way of ensuring those who were it before and missed out have their chance.

The class teacher presumably decided to give her Library Monitor as a way around it.

Then presumably it was decided that the previous holders would get to do it again but at this point an election had already been run and your DD got it

It is going to happen with the chunk of time missed at school and trying to figure out how to make it fair

@positivelynegative

Accept what is thrown at you. Roll over don’t make a fuss. Life’s not fair, suck it up buttercup. Don’t question. Comply.

Is that really what we want for our girls? Really?

I totally get all the ‘yeah, yeah, never mind’, but I do feel there is something more fundamental here.

I think I’d mention it OP, not in a ‘I care’, but my DD cares and I do feel it’s a poor message.

I have to admit I was thinking similar especially with they'll see you sharing and collaboration post.

DD2 seemed to learn that especially in boy group/pair she got to do all the work but the credit was shared. You'd assume that would be seen but often wasn't.

DH says there a lesson to be learnt there about group work in general- and DS very quiet in large groups but more dominate in smaller ones and DD1 have learnt over the years how to make sure it is noted.

I think DD2 personality and it happening more to her in primary school years means she's actually way too accepting of such situations.

this 'debate' puts Brexit and General Election in an entirely new light 🤣

Actually it puts it in a depressingly familiar light. Perhaps a time to introduce DD to the modern World of politics - eg signing a withdrawal agreement then changing your mind, or the Belorussian president

It's never too early to teach your children that teachers and schools have favourites, and that life isn't fair. She will be faced with that all her life.

Very well done on all her efforts and wining the election, her classmates were obviously impressed so she knows how well she has done.

The other child has won a vote in his own class, haven't they? Nothing wrong with pointing out to the school that telling children they would share wouldn't have hurt anyone.

If it was such a trivial matter, the school wouldn't have gone involved and decide to change the rules to favour someone else btw...

On the off chance it's real

This Mumsnet phrasing bugs me - it’s usually a way of trying to shit down debate / showing contempt for OP by suggesting what they’re saying is to trivial or outrageous it can’t possibly be real; or thinly veiled troll hunting.

As you were.

Yes. This is a minor disappointment that will teach her to cope with disappointment later in life.

Working with another child will give your child new skills. Don’t show your daughter disappointment and praise her for getting the job.

[SHUT down debate, not SHIT down debate - though I quite like the typo]

Wow, some mean attitudes on this post!

I feel sorry for Op's dd, she's been given a role that is different from the one promised. It is bull shit. And sadly, its a lesson to learn very young. Life isn't fair. It happens in the workplace and academia too. I don't like the idea that she should just suck it up though, what kind of attitude is that teaching a girl?!

It can teach her though how to carry herself with dignity, she can raise her objections in a grown up way but say she still wants to work with the other student. If she gets through this she will be stronger for it.

FWIW I saw similar in my primary school with an art contest: the student that should have won didn't because the child who caused a lot of problems in class was given the prize. I was inadvertently made privy to the teachers talking about having to give it to the other child to keep her quiet. Seven year old me was outraged! Yes, it was BS, but instructive on life I guess.

The thing is that class votes are not really a fair way to decide on a role, it massively favours confident dc (and probably white dc). I imagine there's a reason the teacher feels this is appropriate.

Whether it's fair or not really depends on the reason the other child was also chosen. Do you know what the reason is? What is PST?

what is PST year

What the bejeezus is 'PST' OP?

What's a PST year?

@Stompythedinosaur

The thing is that class votes are not really a fair way to decide on a role, it massively favours confident dc (and probably white dc). I imagine there's a reason the teacher feels this is appropriate.

But the time to recognise that was before having a class vote, not after!

Class votes seem to be de rigueur in the US, align with show and tell, spelling bees etc. Is that why Americans are much more confident speakers than Brits?

But the time to recognise that was before having a class vote, not after

I totally agree.

So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share Because life isn’t fair?

she is nine and not running the country!

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Im presuming PST is a typo for last.

Ah, thank you. I don't have children and left school 30 years ago so I wondered if this was some modern class type I hadn't heard of.

To those berating the OP for her negativity, she tried to put a positive spin on it, it was her daughter who was understandably upset. PPs are also saying that it was probably won on a popularity contest - and maybe it was, who knows - however, OP's daughter put in a ton of work and believes she's won on merit. The other child may have won last year on a popularity contest! It just sends the wrong message. It's not the problem sharing a role, it's the way in which it was done. OP wants daughter to know she has her back (daughter tells her how she feels over unfair treatment - lots of posters saying life isn't fair - huge empathy there and lays the groundwork for child not bothering to tell parents when something upsets them in future, potentially something a lot bigger).

I think YANBU tbh. Maybe a bit precious to be overly bothered, but not unreasonable. There was no point holding a vote if they weren't going to stick with the result, and surely it's quite unfair on the kids that did go for the vote and didn't get it?

This is the sort of thing that demotivated me as a kid.

It’s easy to dismiss and minimise (slightly depressing that some teachers are doing just that on this thread) but to the kid this is important- it’s their world. Easy to scoff about a class election but to a 9 year old it is as important as the general election. And these are formative years you get adults ranting about childhood injustices 40/50/60 odd years earlier. My mum is over 70 and generally an easy going chilled out person but still mentions being sent out of class for sneezing that she couldn’t help aged 9 She’s still quite pissed off about it and her teacher is long dead!