Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

It is being suggested that the girl has been wronged because the election result didn't stand, but it has. She was voted class eco monitor, and she is one. The other girl was probably also elected class eco monitor last year and she still is one. I would assume that they were both elected - one last year and one this year. If a mistake has been made, it was probably having a new class election this year rather than just letting the other girl continue in her role. Would you prefer the teacher to correct this mistake and tell your daughter that she can't be the eco monitor because they can't have 2? Seriously, I'm sure the teacher was just trying to do what was best for all.

Would you prefer the teacher to correct this mistake and tell your daughter that she can't be the eco monitor because they can't have 2?
*
O*f course they can have 2!

I'd expect the teacher to explain kindly and privately to the DD why after the election someone else will do it with her. Bearing in mind she is the only new monitor in the school it has happened to.

This isn't a problem about sharing a role.

Mountains out of molehills .

You're clearly not 9.

I wouldn’t want the teacher to change her decision as it would be heartbreaking for the other girl. But I would like the teacher to explain clearly to the class and my dd the reasoning behind the decision and also make the children understand that their vote counts and also kindly explain to my dd that the new role has nothing to do with her abilities.. and get my dd to share the girls monitor role.. so it’s fair both ways .

It's not petty.
A child is being given preferential treatment, I've worked in a school like this and it was annoying for everyone. Small school made it blaringlying obvious to everyone, and it was down to others to try and balance it out and get questioned by the kids.

The other student was unfairly given a role all because they had an interest in something last year. It's unfair to everyone who stood up and made their presentation, it's hard for everyone and preferential treatment shouldn't be given.

Having these elected posts and school councils etc are all about learning about the voting process. They aren't stupid and understand that it's the basis of elections and often the similarities are mentioned in lesson, assemblies etc.

What is the lesson they are learning? Campaign for something that you are passionate about, research a bit, do a presentation, some type of oral presentation. Others think about what you represent, can bring to the job etc. The best person for the position is selected and given the role. All's fine. Then the next day after all the celebrations are over, oh yea btw we have decided that this random person will be working with you, and this is announced in front of everyone.

If this happened in your workplace would you be happy? Or would you go and ask wtf?

I'd expect the teacher to explain kindly and privately to the DD why after the election someone else will do it with her.

But it seems it has been explained - because the other girl didn't get to complete the role because of the school closure and she's passionate about the role. Why would you assume it hasn't been explained kindly? Children often misrepresent things that have happened or been said, particularly when they are upset.

OP, this really is a great opportunity for you to teach your child about important characteristics such as positive thinking, resiliance and growth mindset.

Mountains out of molehills
You're clearly not 9.

That's why we don't run things based on tye reactions of 9 year-olds. It's part of a parent's (and teacher's) job to discourage children from making mountains out of molehills.

I find it very hard to believe that a 9yo would have independently leapt to the conclusion that the reason she's now sharing the role of switching lights off and encouraging people to put their paper in the recycling box with last year's eco monitor (who missed out on a lot of her turn) is because the teacher doubts her ability (to do what exactly?).

That's why we don't run things based on tye reactions of 9 year-olds. It's part of a parent's (and teacher's) job to discourage children from making mountains out of molehills.

Children have a very strong sense of fairness. And it's a shame that many more things aren't run that way.

put yourself forward
Research a project
do a presentation
wait for a result
win
= a molehill

Feel sad, feel embarrassed, feel disappointment about the results being changed without prior consultation
= making a mountain

I think plenty of 9 year olds would feel bad about this. And I think girls have always been told to act this way.

@reefedsail, I'm so glad you posted that!

I was just thinking that the kids are bad enough but the parents ... just wow.

I think plenty of 9 year olds would feel bad about this. And I think girls have always been told to act this way.

I absolutely agree that girls are too often the obes expected to be nice and accommodating, but I very much doubt that was the case here. Are you suggesting that if the OP's child were a boy, this wouldn't have happened? And let's remember that the other child, who got to 'muscle in' on the OP's dd's role is also a girl.

i don't think the other child got "to muscle" in. who knows if they even had a say. It's irrelevant whether they are a boy or girl. I have no problem with the job share itself.

It's all about the casual complacency of a thoughtless teacher. who has dealt very poorly with OP's daughter.

And yes by describing the DD's sadness and embarrassment as "a mountain out of a molehill" you are kind of expecting her to roll over and be explained to that it's nothing. "Discouraged" from making a mountain.

This situation is not because DD is a girl but as a precedent it's happened too many times before to girls.

who gives a f** if it's just turning out a light or putting paper in a box. that is so missing the point.

Feel sorry for the teacher who has committed the crime of showing compassion to two different children

I think you have too much time on your hands.

Get a hobby or a career. Something.

Schools are in the middle of a pandemic, and right now, they would (quite rightly) tell you to FUCK OFF

Get a hobby or a career. Something.

stop being so vile to strangers. FFS

They are 9 , this is about turning lights off and litter picks - they really are not going to care

Except 9 year olds do care about being monitors and what not and OP’s DD did care

Oh you’re THAT parent

Oh, you’re THAT poster (yep, the one(s) that trot out that tired line when someone, gasp, disagrees with a teacher)

the aggression in some responses is sadly very telling 🤔

Schools are in the middle of a pandemic, and right now, they would (quite rightly) tell you to FUCK OFF

Well, in that case, problem solved, teacher saying FUCK OFF would be fired. No more bumbling insensitity from that teacher

Oh you’re THAT parent

Oh, you’re THAT poster (yep, the one(s) that trot out that tired line when someone, gasp, disagrees with a teacher)

I know, it gets very boring after a while. I don't think many parents worry about what teachers say about them in the staff room.

Anyway, this parent has only asked this question on Mumsnet, she hasn't stormed into school to have a go at the teacher, or even emailed her yet. So the criticism isn't fair anyway.

To all "life if not fair/ suck it up" posters - this is how children lose respect for teachers and other authority figures. Having own reasons or not thinking things through is just not good enough.
I wouldn't contact the school though - it may backfire on your child.

Some people have experienced actual deaths in their families due to this pandemic.

I think people worrying about this kind of inconsequential, insignificant issue need to gain some perspective.

Aridane

Sarcasm. Look it up.

@FridayNightAtTheBronze Everyday hundreds of children die from drinking water that is unfit for human consumption. Everyday hundreds of people die from preventable diseases such as malaria. Women are raped. Women are beaten to death. Do you think Covid is bad as it impacts white people? A ridiculous connect meant to put someone down, but stands no scrutiny.

positivelynegative

OK.

positivelynegative

In comparison to Malaria, rape and dirty drinking water this issue doesn't seem very important does it?