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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 19:20

@FridayNightAtTheBronze and I would escalate it to governing body.. we all are going through covid.. employed, unemployed, teachers, retail workers, etc.. that’s not an excuse.. not to make the schools life difficult, but to show that regardless of anything all children have feelings and all children deserve respect.. with the attitude of the women on here.. it’s shocking how many think it’s ok to for feelings to be disregarded.. just to mollycoddle adult teachers..

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 19:20

@FridayNightAtTheBronze

Some people have experienced actual deaths in their families due to this pandemic.

Do you know what OP has experienced due to the pandemic?

No didn't think so.

Sarcasm ?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No you just embarrassed yourself.

notanoctopus · 08/09/2020 19:24

@Aridane

If the teacher had taken the role from OPs daughter and given it to the other child I would understand, she hasn't

Slightly off topic, but on the other thread (not OP’s), 93% of posters thought it was fine for a teacher to rig the results of a class election!

On thst thread, the winner didn't know it was rigged, had put in a lot of work etc And the real voted winner had literally just said "I am popular". Merit was rewarded, the class felt listened to (even if they weren't) etc. I can understand that teacher and don't think she was unreasonable. This one however, is. It's not all black and white! No other people are being asked to share. She could have invented another reason or said there was extra work to do now in eco role - not tell 29 other kids that "effort" doesn't count and effectively tell kids doing all the other jobs last year that only one person deserves extra time in those roles due to school closures! Poorly handled. Some really spiteful responses on here.
itgetsthehoseagain · 08/09/2020 19:24

I actually sympathise with OP. I'm wondering why the teacher didn't have the gumption to stick to process.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:25

sunglassesonthetable

Embarrassed? Hardly.

I was under the impression we could give opinions on Mumsnet. And I don't care what you think of me.

I lost my mum to Covid. I don't care if some person on Mumsnet's child wasn't elected the only environmental monitor for their school.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 19:26

Some of these responses are absolutely a shocking!!!

OP posts:
awaynboilyurheid · 08/09/2020 19:26

think you have too much time on your hands.

Get a hobby or a career. Something.

Schools are in the middle of a pandemic, and right now, they would (quite rightly) tell you to FUCK OFF
this Post wins it for best and
most direct advice Grin

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 19:28

@FridayNightAtTheBronze

I'm very sorry that's happened to you.

and of course you don't care what I think or about OPs daughter. Understandably.

But you're still being vile.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:29

Mummy20192

OK report then Confused. I personally would teach my child resilience
The world doesn't always go their way and they won't always have Mummy fighting their battles.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:31

awaynboilyurheid

Thank you

TooLittleTooLate80 · 08/09/2020 19:31

@Mummy20192

I have told my daughter to collaborate.. and work as a team.. which she will.. and no i haven’t emailed the teacher. I am upset, but obviously not enough, as I’m in here instead of writing to school.

However, this is a big deal to a 9 yr old in their young lives especially, when they work hard and have the courage to stand infront of class after 6 months of lockdown and give speech. I appreciate that the teacher knows what the other child needs, and that should have taken into consideration before giving out the results of the vote... not come in next day and say.. infront of the whole class... we’ll we are going to disregard the votes because someone is passionate... act then you wonder why young ppl aren’t keen on voting in this country. What a great message to teach about democracy!

The bigger deal you make of this non event the bigger deal your child will take from it. Your posts are beyond over dramatic.
Staffy1 · 08/09/2020 19:35

It won't do much good to have it out with the teacher, regardless of how unfair it is. Take it from someone who has, more than once. It never changes anything except them marking you as difficult. Unless you can do it very calmly and are good with words, in which case you could explain how your DD has construed it and ask them to explain their decision to her on her own and possibly give her another role as well, one she can have on her own if everyone else gets one on their own.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:36

sunglassesonthetable

Schools are under more pressure right now than you can imagine. Stuff like this makes teachers roll their eyes and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

For the record, my mum was healthy, active and had no underlying conditions. She still died.

Schools just want to get through this and keep children and staff safe, yet they have to deal with this kind of ridiculous, unimportant crap.

And I'm being vile? OK then.

notanoctopus · 08/09/2020 19:37

@kiwibee

Feel sorry for the teacher who has committed the crime of showing compassion to two different children
She has shown compassion to one and not much to 29!
sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 19:44

Schools are under more pressure right now than you can imagine. Stuff like this makes teachers roll their eyes and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

"you can imagine" Hmm

No I know.

Stuff like this makes teachers roll their eyes and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

And make people wonder what is wrong with this teacher.

Schools just want to get through this and keep children and staff safe, yet they have to deal with this kind of ridiculous, unimportant crap.

After organising an election etc etc etc .... they are as professional as the rest of the world . Don't demean them.

Get a hobby or a career. Something.

Yep that was really vile.

CatsArePeopleToo · 08/09/2020 19:45

Schools are under more pressure right now than you can imagine. Stuff like this makes teachers roll their eyes and wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

Then there shouldn't be such a thing at all - no role, no elections, no presentations. Nothing. Because at the end of the day it doesn't mean shit.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 08/09/2020 19:49

Sunglassesontherable

Your posts and replies seem a little over the top here. You might be better to take a step back for your own sake. In the nicest possible way, you seem to have become a little over invested. It’s a kid you don’t know being asked to share a title that doesn’t really exist for reasons unknown to us.
It’s really nothing to get so het up over xx

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 19:54

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

whatever. my choice.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:54

sunglassesonthetable

From your last comment, I assume you work in a school?

At my school, we are just trying to get the children to arrive and leave safely and navigate all the bits in between.

This thread suggests that the last monitor lost most of her turn due to the pandemic.

Why shouldn't the OPs daughter be encouraged to share the role, given the extreme and unprecedented circumstances?

Isn't that just a good lesson in how to deal with life? That things aren't always fair, and that sometimes you just have to roll with it?

Catchingbabies · 08/09/2020 19:56

Has it not occurred to you that the child that had the role last year barely got to do it due to lockdown? Sharing the role seems a very fair system.

How would you feel if your daughter had the role last year and was replaced when she didn’t get a chance to do the role?

This is an excellent way to teach your child that there are bigger things happening and that we all need to be a little flexible and accept changes for the greater good.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 19:56

sunglassesonthetable

whatever. my choice.

Same here.

WhatamessIgotinto · 08/09/2020 19:58

@Turtletotem

I'd say well done to your daughter and hope your negativity doesn't taint this for her.
Agreed.
FridayNightAtTheBronze · 08/09/2020 20:01

Can you imagine a thread from the opposite side?

Hello Mumsnetters, last year my child was made environmental monitor, but due to the pandemic, she barely got to perform in the role.

A new monitor has been elected, and the teacher has kindly suggested that both my child and the new monitor perform the role together. However, the new monitor's mother has a problem with this.....

What do you think?

Grin
SingingInTheShithouse · 08/09/2020 20:02

"So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share Because life isn’t fair?l"

Good grief, you are talking about 9 yo. FGS get a grip.

You have an opportunity here to teach your DD how not to over react to something fairly trivial. Start by winding your neck in & not over reacting yourself. If DD is upset, it sounds like she's likely getting that from you. Let her be, coax her that it's good she has help & could make a new friend etc

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 20:02

*Why shouldn't the OPs daughter be encouraged to share the role, given the extreme and unprecedented circumstances?

Isn't that just a good lesson in how to deal with life? That things aren't always fair, and that sometimes you just have to roll with it?*

She totally should be encouraged!

And kindly explained to and dealt with like her feelings matter.

Of course you have to learn resilience and roll with stuff but the way this teacher has dealt with the situation is awful.

If i was OP I would feel it was justified to mention it.
Not to change the situation but to point out that the teacher needs to resolve what has happened.

Teachers are just humans like everyone else and everyone is going through a pandemic. .