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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:11

You put a positive spin on it for your child to make them feel better because you're an adult and you know that who turns the lights off at school is a complete non issue. You don't start making a fuss to the school about it.

Yep you would give it some thought wouldn't you. It's not nothing. And to a child it is important who turns the lights off if they worked for it. They are not the adults here. And I totally agree about the positive spin.

But the teacher has fucked up. I wouldn't suggest changing it but I would point out it's a very thoughtless way of doing it.

FatBottomedGurl · 08/09/2020 15:12

@Mummy20192 For what its worth, I agree with every single point you have made and I would be reacting, and progressing, in the exact same way as yourself.

damnthatanxiety · 08/09/2020 15:12

Your description of the other child is very contradictory. You say that neither your child or the other child are popular but then you say that the other child won the 'popularity' award or some such thing. You also say that the other child is not even interested in the eco thing but then you say that she was eco person last year so she must have gone through some selection process therefore she must be interested. You seem to chop and change your description of her.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:12

*I think that really the eco monitor from last term should have been given the role exclusively.

Imagine that was your child, and she was voted eco monitor and then didn't get an opportunity to fulfil her role and then it was just passed on to the next person?*

Totally agree.
once again the teacher messed up.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:14

*Sorry, just saw the OPs post regarding how DD was told.

Yes, that could've been handled better. It doesn't make the original decision wrong though.*

How they handled it is the whole point.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:16

The teacher was just too organised at getting it done!

At the expense of their pupils

honeygirlz · 08/09/2020 15:19

This child also won the “popularity” contest last year and she has also been given another “monitor role” this year. While my dd and other children are overlooked.

As I suspected, OP. Is she related to someone on the PTA etc?

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 15:20

once again the teacher messed up

At the expense of their pupils

But the teacher has fucked up

some poor sod just being an ordinary human and trying to do a nice thing would be another way to think about it

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 15:21

This child also won the “popularity” contest last year

This is batshit and has no place in a school! There should NOT be popularity contests at all!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:23

some poor sod just being an ordinary human and trying to do a nice thing would be another way to think about it

Yeah course.

And a decent teacher would want to know about it to try and resolve it with DD.

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 15:27

And a decent teacher would want to know about it to try and resolve it with DD

agreed, the teacher hasn't said they wouldn't want to resolve it or help the girls

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:30

That is why OP wants to speak to her. And she hasn't resolved anything as far as we know. That's the actual point of this thread.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/09/2020 15:31

What do or the classmates who voted think of having their vote disregarded

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:32

What do or the classmates who voted think of having their vote disregarded

Well according to a lot on here it's irrelevant.

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 15:34

That's the actual point of this thread

as with all threads, and real life conversations lots of things are discussed and we talk around the subject

burnoutbabe · 08/09/2020 15:34

but why is ONLY this role being shared with last times's owner? didn't all roles last year get cut short?

seems very unfair that only one person has to share their role, like they aren't good enough to do it themselves and needs help.

very badly managed!

TinkersTailor · 08/09/2020 15:38

Sunglasses The way she told the child could've been handled better.
That's it.

The teacher has chosen to do something that will obviously benefit both children. She was doing what she thought was fair.
You keep going on about 'why have an election', this obviously happened after the election. So that's a non-starter.
She could have told DD in private first, that I agree with.
But having 2 children job-share for whatever reason isn't a bad thing. To perceive that as anything other than a teacher trying to support two children is really quite mad.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:40

*as with all threads, and real life conversations lots of things are discussed and we talk around the subject
*

yep and there is nothing to suggest the teacher has had a quiet word with DD or tried to take her feelings into consideration.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:45

But having 2 children job-share for whatever reason isn't a bad thing.

of course not! HmmDon't disagree are all. Nor did OP if you read the thread!

But making a 9 year old feel sad and embarrassed by not explaining, pre empting or warning them that the "election" result didn't stand is totally rubbish.

Them handling it properly and professionally is part of their job. Because they deal with children.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:47

Sunglasses The way she told the child could've been handled better.
That's it.

Yep. That's it. Her job is with children And that is what OP is upset about.

IrmaFayLear · 08/09/2020 15:56

Given that it’s pandemic times and the other child has been given the “job share” because they missed out on half a year last year seems a fair explanation and one which should placate the OP’s dd. To be completely fair, the job-share girl should only hold the post for half a year this time, too.

Interesting when people upthread mention awarding posts because of hardship, motivation etc. To an adult this route seems reasonable, but children have a very straight down the line view of fairness and this is often far from fair in their opinion. How many times are kids indignant, nay, outraged, because teachers appear to reward bad behaviour and ignore good?

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 08/09/2020 16:27

Oh you’re THAT parent.

Londonmummy66 · 08/09/2020 16:28

I don't have a particular issue with who was elected or whether there would or would not be a jobshare etc. However, OP says that her daughter was left feeling that the teacher didn't think she was up to doing the job by herself - that is quite a demoralising thought for a young girl. So she will be left in the situation where she is being told to smile and be nice to the other girl whilst feeling that she isn't good enough. I don't think the OP should make a big fuss but I do think that she should have a quiet word with the teacher and explain that she doesn't want to change anything or complain but that the teacher now needs to do something to bolster her daughter's knocked confidence. I don't see this as being precious but as making sure that this girl is not being made to feel rubbish about herself and her abilities. The teacher had time to deal with the other girl's sense of unfairness and so she has to make time to ensure that she hasn't adversely affected OP's daughter's confidence either.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 16:30

Oh you’re THAT parent.

yeah whatever

RedHelenB · 08/09/2020 16:54

She got the vote and he job. Justvsomeone else is doing it too. Mountains out of molehills .