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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 14:34

This is basically turning lights off, yes?

Yes probably. And?

They are 9.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/09/2020 14:35

So what was the point of the election?

Boris won the election but can Jeremy share as he is really really passionate about running the country.

Those saying it is perfectly fair then if this other child had won would the teacher have allowed ops dd to share because she is really passionate about the subject.

Lucindainthesky · 08/09/2020 14:36

Well my DD is 9 too and I just cannot imagine giving this kind of nonsense a second thought at the moment

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 14:37

the teacher held elections, as they usually do at the beginning of the year, then someone else has reminded them that the previous monitors didn't get to fulfil their role because of the school closure and that they should therefore continue in the role. The teacher has then probably done what seems to be the fairest solution all round, which is to let the 2 girls share the role

I would bet my house this is exactly what happened- 2 teachers just doing their normal jobs and trying to do the right thing- and surprise surprise that is wrong too.

Not forgetting the children who voted to select their representative?

They are 9 , this is about turning lights off and litter picks - they really are not going to care

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 14:37

And so is learning that you don't always get what you want,

Actually she researched, spoke and got elected. She did get what she worked for and wanted.

Not questioning teachers reasons just the rubbish way they have handled it.

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 14:39

Well my DD is 9 too and I just cannot imagine giving this kind of nonsense a second thought at the moment

even if your DD was sad and embarrassed. And had worked and spoken in front of the class.

Crack on.

Sorehandsandfeet · 08/09/2020 14:40

OK, I'm starting to see the situation. Both children have asd right? Therefore, it would be included in their echp that they should be given opportunities to develop their social skills. This is as important as any academic achievement. Here are two girls, who clearly share an interest in the environment. It may have seemed like a light bulb moment for the teacher to have them work together! If that is the case then the teacher is doing a good job!
As a parent of a very bright child with asd, he can be black and white, quite entitled and feels injustice strongly. I would appreciate the teachers giving him the opportunity to work with another child. To learn to listen to other ideas, have to compromise. All life skills that do not come naturally to children on the spectrum. Skills that will be needed as they get older!

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 14:41

I just can't get this at all- she'll have more chance of doing more exciting things and plans with 2 heads instead of one- and if for any reason she can't or doesn't want to do it for a day/ week/ month (kids are fickle) then there's someone else to help

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 14:41

Great idea @Sorehandsandfeet

but why have an election?

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 14:42

Sorehandsandfeet think you might be right here

TinkersTailor · 08/09/2020 14:43

It sound as though the situation with a the other child came to mind after the election was held. I.E wasn't known about at the time of the vote.

I know we expect a lot of teachers, but I don't think time travel is possible just yet.

lazylinguist · 08/09/2020 14:45

Will people just stop comparing this to a general election?! Even 9 year-olds would laugh at the idea that it was remotely comparable!

Those saying it is perfectly fair then if this other child had won would the teacher have allowed ops dd to share because she is really passionate about the subject.

Maybe. Who cares? In the average primary school class there are probably umpteen tears, arguments and strops every single week about who gets to do what, things being unfair, not wanting to share things etc etc. It's very easy for parents to inflate the importance of the one thing their dc wanted to do, but for the teacher it's just one more minor thing in a daily battle to keep everyone happy. Sometimes they have to take a pragmatic approach.

Sometimes a child appears to get preferential treatment, but the other parents don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe the child has had some kind of trauma/parent break-up/bereavement etc and needs a boost. It is not anyone else's business to know.

TempestHayes · 08/09/2020 14:45

"By democratic vote"

Look, schools have bigger things to worry about than whatever an "eco monitor" even is.

Sorehandsandfeet · 08/09/2020 14:45

Sunglassesonthetable I'm guessing they didn't know who would win the election. Without an election other children could feel injustice. This girl won and then the idea was borne!

jessstan2 · 08/09/2020 14:48

You posted this yesterday, was that not enough?

crochetmonkey74 · 08/09/2020 14:48

but why have an election?

because it might have been a fun activity, it might have ticked some boxes for an interactive thing to do after lockdown, it might have matched the class perfectly and got them excited- it might also have been a bit of a faff once the other child was seen to have missed out or very interested- think what the alternative is- the other 9 year old being told they can't do it? Can't be involved sorry- that's not really what school is about!

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:00

*It sound as though the situation with a the other child came to mind after the election was held. I.E wasn't known about at the time of the vote.

I know we expect a lot of teachers, but I don't think time travel is possible just yet.*

Or being able to handle 9yrs old well🙄

Not just walking into the class room and announcing the change to the situation?

Not explaining kindly and positively to the DD in private first?

No don't expect "time travel". Just kindness, professionalism and a bit of thought.

Quartz2208 · 08/09/2020 15:02

The teacher clearly did the election thinking that giving her library monitor was enough. Before it had properly been decided. Then one assumes the SLT decided it was fairest to allow those who missed out due to lockdown another chance to do

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:03

Sunglassesonthetable I'm guessing they didn't know who would win the election. Without an election other children could feel injustice. This girl won and then the idea was borne!

You what?

They could have allocated monitors as they saw fit.

TinkersTailor · 08/09/2020 15:03

Sunglasses How do we know that the teacher didn't tell the child nicely and in private?
OP hasn't mentioned how DD was told I don't think, just that she was.

You keep trying to blame the teacher here. You really don't want them to be in the right.

Lucindainthesky · 08/09/2020 15:03

sunglassesonthetable if my DD was sad and embarrassed then yes I would crack on, I'd crack on with talking to her about how nice it will be to share the responsibility with another child. How lovely that they care about the environment too, that's awesome DD isn't it!

You put a positive spin on it for your child to make them feel better because you're an adult and you know that who turns the lights off at school is a complete non issue. You don't start making a fuss to the school about it.

yellowgusset · 08/09/2020 15:04

I think that really the eco monitor from last term should have been given the role exclusively.

Imagine that was your child, and she was voted eco monitor and then didn't get an opportunity to fulfil her role and then it was just passed on to the next person?

sunglassesonthetable · 08/09/2020 15:04

The teacher clearly did the election thinking that giving her library monitor was enough. Before it had properly been decided. Then one assumes the SLT decided it was fairest to allow those who missed out due to lockdown another chance to do

well that sounds disorganised and thoughtless to everyone involved.

TinkersTailor · 08/09/2020 15:06

Sorry, just saw the OPs post regarding how DD was told.

Yes, that could've been handled better. It doesn't make the original decision wrong though.

Quartz2208 · 08/09/2020 15:10

@sunglassesonthetable yep to me it very much sounds like the teacher thought she could go ahead and do one thing and then got told something different from the SLT who made a decision without properly telling members of staff.

The teacher was just too organised at getting it done!