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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To force DD to keep the guinea pigs in her room?

197 replies

smashingfun · 06/09/2020 22:52

DD got 2 Guinea Pigs from and a large hutch for them for her 12th birthday in May. She had been begging for them for months and was ecstatic when we got them for her. The hutch is an indoor one with 2 floors and sits in her room. Her room is large. It's quite chilly where we live (up in the hills) and so we have them inside and it made sense for them to go in DD's room as they are her pets and we wanted her to take the main responsibility for them. We made clear that they were going to be her pets and not family ones. She was all over them for a month and since then her interest has dwindled. I end up doing all of the feeds, cleaning up the shite and taking them into the garden enclosure to play, I have 2 more kids under 3 years old so I could do without the extra responsibility. DD simply couldn't give a shit. One of them was ill last month and I had to take him to the vet and she showed no concern at all. Never asked what he was diagnosed with (chest infection) or showed interest when I came up to give him his medicine.

In the past month or so she has had somewhat of an emotional growth spurt. She changed just like that and now is all of a sudden into makeup and wants new clothes. I know that suddenly changing like that is normal for this age and I imagine she suddenly got a rush of hormones (I remember similar at that age, I suddenly decided I needed to 'grow up' and never looked back), but she's like a completely new person and I can barely keep up. She's now declared that she doesn't want the guinea pigs in her room anymore. I think she has decided it cramps the teenage style she wants to go for. She told me the other day it was embarrassing having her friends round because of them.

I don't know what to do. She has the biggest room in the house and I certainly don't have the space for them in any other room. I would like to rehome them but part of me also feels that it's a shitty message to send to DD. When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point. But I feel that is unfair on the piggies who deserve an attentive home where they will get the nurturing they deserve, I feel awful for even getting the poor things in the first place and do accept some responsibility for it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:
JulesCobb · 06/09/2020 22:54

Try to find them a good home. Animals shouldn't be used as a punishment.

Matilda400 · 06/09/2020 22:56

Tricky one but I think you will have to rehome. I agree about the message it could send but it also sends the message that if she is is not responsible she has special things taken away (not that it sounds she would be that bothered!)

underneaththeash · 06/09/2020 22:59

Why does a 12 year old child have the biggest room in your house?
She can call a re-homing place.
(i have a 14 and 12 year old)

LovingLola · 06/09/2020 23:00

I’d rehome them

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 06/09/2020 23:00

I would rehome them responsibly. Anyone who gets pets for their kids and doesn't assume ultimate responsibility for them is BU regardless of how many times the kids proooooomiiiiiiiiise they won't get bored.

Bringonspring · 06/09/2020 23:00

I agree with julescobb it’s not the animals fault. To be honest I have heard the same story countless time with guinea pigs/hamsters etc.

SimonJT · 06/09/2020 23:00

It is unfair on the pigs, plus they can live quite a long time. Surely her friends would like the fact that she has some cute piggies?

Does she get pocket money? If so you could reduce it by a certain amount and give that to a small animal or guinea pig rehominf charity for a certain amount of time.

Floralnomad · 06/09/2020 23:02

I think you should rehome them to someone who appreciates them , sadly you have learnt the hard way why you don’t buy pets for children unless you actually want the pet yourself . I disagree that piggies cramp your style though , most 12/13 yo even those into makeup and boys still love a cuddle with a pet .

Nottherealslimshady · 06/09/2020 23:03

Try to find them a good home, it's not fair on them to live with someone who doesn't want them. I'd be punishing her for letting them down though I some way and she would not be getting another pet until she's mature enough to live alone.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 06/09/2020 23:05

Poor pigs :-(

DisappearingGirl · 06/09/2020 23:05

Ah tricky one. We have indoor piggies too and we love them but they are a faff to clean out and I find I have to do a mini clean every day and the cage still smells a bit. One dd loves them and the other isn't really bothered.

Thing is though, they can live for 6-8 years so you could have them till she's 20!! That will be a long time to be making a point for, a long time for her to have pets she doesn't really want, and a long time for you (probably) to be doing an extra job you don't really want.

I think I would give her a talking to and say if you have to re-home them then it's no more pets ... but I think I would re-home them. There's plenty of nice rescue places and as long as they get a nice home I don't think they'll be too upset by it.

Guineapigbridge · 06/09/2020 23:06

Hi, I'm a guinea pig owner (see my username :)) and i live in a coldish climate in NZ. They are totally fine living outside in a hutch in Winter as long as they have a regularly-cleaned fleece blanket and lots of hay to huddle under.
I'd ask her what she wants to do, put the hutch outside and be responsible for cleaning the hutch out once a week or rehome them.
I think you're being a bit harsh forcing her to keep it in her room - they are quite noisy little creatures and may be disturbing her sleep. I think realistically, 12 year olds will have a limited interest. Any pet will ultimately be the parents' responsibility. It's a story as old as time...
They're pretty low maintenance pets compared to most: grass, hay topped up, cage cleaned once a week, veges and water.

DarkDisquiet · 06/09/2020 23:07

I would rehome the guinea pigs, but I think I'd impose some kind of penalty on her - something that fits the situation - giving a certain amount of her money to an animal charity over a prolonged time, etc.

It's not fair on the animals to make them stay where they aren't wanted, but neither should she get away without any consequences for not taking responsibility.

gamerchick · 06/09/2020 23:08

Re-home them, it's not their fault.

She wouldnt be getting the biggest room in the house though.

ShinyGreenElephant · 06/09/2020 23:09

Rehome them as they deserve a caring home and as a PP said, donate a percentage of her pocket money to a rescue centre for the next year so she learns the lesson about treating animals badly.

Shizzlestix · 06/09/2020 23:10

Re-home them. She doesn’t want them.

HelloDulling · 06/09/2020 23:10

Definitely rehome. Someone will be delighted to get them and all the gear.

Original poster
smashingfun · 06/09/2020 23:11

I agree that it's not fair on the guinea pigs to keep them in a neglectful situation just to prove a point for DD. I make sure they are fed, watered clean and get to play out every day but I'm run ragged. DD just whinges about them all of the time.

@allunderneaththeash We used to have that room and she was in the second bedroom. But we are on a main road and she always found the noise of the traffic kept her awake as a young child because that room was at the front of the house so we moved her into that room. I like your idea about having her take responsibility for rehoming them.

I think I might do that, tell her to make the rehoming ad and make her get pictures of them to put online etc. I could make out that they are her pets and therefore it is her job to find them a new owner if she doesn't want them. Of course I'll still have to vet whoever shows an interest and make sure she doesn't hand them over to just anybody, but making her create the online ad or put flyers up is a good idea.

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 06/09/2020 23:11

What’s the room situation? Why does she have the biggest?
Maybe suggest to her if she doesn’t want them in her room and there is nowhere else for her to go that she will have to swop rooms and have a smaller room?

TheNanny23 · 06/09/2020 23:11

Honestly, rehome them rather than have unwanted and unplayed with.

They could live until she is 21!

Moonflower12 · 06/09/2020 23:11

Where are you? I'll have them!

TheNanny23 · 06/09/2020 23:13

Make sure you have a charge rather than give away free to make sure they attract good owners.

CostaCosta · 06/09/2020 23:13

We would love to re-home them! Ds is set on some for his bday but we can't find any.

Pikachubaby · 06/09/2020 23:13

I feel you are being harsh on your dad and the pets

All kids promise they will look after pets, none (or very few) will see this through

So discuss with her if she’ll look after them outside (must be smelly and noisy having them in her room ) or if she wants to rehome them.

Ridiculous idea to keep them as a punishment imo

Medievalist · 06/09/2020 23:14

Anyone who gets pets for their kids and doesn't assume ultimate responsibility for them is BU regardless of how many times the kids proooooomiiiiiiiiise they won't get bored.

^^ This