To force DD to keep the guinea pigs in her room?

[smashingfun]

DD got 2 Guinea Pigs from and a large hutch for them for her 12th birthday in May. She had been begging for them for months and was ecstatic when we got them for her. The hutch is an indoor one with 2 floors and sits in her room. Her room is large. It's quite chilly where we live (up in the hills) and so we have them inside and it made sense for them to go in DD's room as they are her pets and we wanted her to take the main responsibility for them. We made clear that they were going to be her pets and not family ones. She was all over them for a month and since then her interest has dwindled. I end up doing all of the feeds, cleaning up the shite and taking them into the garden enclosure to play, I have 2 more kids under 3 years old so I could do without the extra responsibility. DD simply couldn't give a shit. One of them was ill last month and I had to take him to the vet and she showed no concern at all. Never asked what he was diagnosed with (chest infection) or showed interest when I came up to give him his medicine.

In the past month or so she has had somewhat of an emotional growth spurt. She changed just like that and now is all of a sudden into makeup and wants new clothes. I know that suddenly changing like that is normal for this age and I imagine she suddenly got a rush of hormones (I remember similar at that age, I suddenly decided I needed to 'grow up' and never looked back), but she's like a completely new person and I can barely keep up. She's now declared that she doesn't want the guinea pigs in her room anymore. I think she has decided it cramps the teenage style she wants to go for. She told me the other day it was embarrassing having her friends round because of them.

I don't know what to do. She has the biggest room in the house and I certainly don't have the space for them in any other room. I would like to rehome them but part of me also feels that it's a shitty message to send to DD. When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point. But I feel that is unfair on the piggies who deserve an attentive home where they will get the nurturing they deserve, I feel awful for even getting the poor things in the first place and do accept some responsibility for it all.

Any advice?

I agree with another poster that Guinea pigs in a bedroom is a bad idea anyway. I'd rehome or move to the garden. My friend kept them in her shed.

@Somanysocks
I didn't mean shove them in the cupboard. I meant taking the food off and using as an alcove like this!

Door not food

Please stop using animals to teach your child moral lessons. You won't be as well equipped as a rescue to re-home the pigs - in fact the rescue may already have a list of people interested in adopting guinea pigs. Yes, it might be good to involve your daughter in the rehoming but if you/her fuck it up, it's not like you are the ones who will suffer.

She does need some kind of consequence after this. Donating money to the charity is a good idea.

@Yeahnahmum

Yabu for getting a 12 yo guinea pigs She is a teenager.... of course she is going to not take care of them and loose all interest. She is, after all, a teenager. She will soon be into boys. And going out. And tik tok. Not 2 lame hamsters

You were super U to buy her this op. And very naive...

You sound very stupid.

I got my DD Guinea pigs as a gift. Since then I've had 3 guinea pigs
Kids often lose interest with pets, but fwiw I actually do think it's still worth getting them - but only if the adults actually have time to look after them.
If you don't have time to look after them, do think about rehoming through a good charity. They like company and attention. Don't keep them and do the bare minimum.
I don't think you should punish your DD though, but neither does she get a substitute gift.
Saying no pets ever is daft too. She will grow up and the dynamic in your house will change as your little ones grow up.
Pets generally are good for kids.

Has anyone ever bought their child anything for their birthday that has held their interest for 6-8 years? Nope. So why would this? Yes, it's a living, breathing creature so must be cared for. But that's the responsibility of the adult. If anyone should donating money to an animal charity, it's OP, not her DD.

She can do the job of finding them a new home with strict criteria of what you're and quality.
Then she learns that a loving creature is not an insignificant thing, that you can just wash your hands of a responsibility and to be careful what you wish for.

Why has she got biggest room in the house
Yes rehome them

Keeping guinea pigs in a bedroom is a terrible idea.

This has all been really poorly thought out and you really need to accept responsibility for that.

Poor guinea pigs.

Well, once again another parent whose learnt the hard way that you don't buy pets for children.

Ultimately animals in the home are your responsibility - you're the adult, your DD is a child. There's a reason 12 year olds can't wander into Pets at Home and walk out with a pet.

You made the choice to get the animals, you need to be the one who either cares for them or rehomes them. Don't place that responsibility on your DD - you're the one who bought them and as an adult, you knew what the responsibilities would be. You don't want to do it anymore so rehome them - that's your lesson to learn.

What on Earth are guinea pigs doing, living in a bedroom?!??

I think you had massively unreasonable expectations of a 12 year old.

I predict that if you kick off about this, and put all the blame on your daughter, she will become even more of a ‘selfish brat’.

You placed adult expectations on your 12 year old. Now, you are planning to punish her for actually being a 12 year old.

This way, arguments & madness lie for several years to come.

Rehome them

I would re-home them OP.
They deserve to be looked after correctly.
Sadly, a lot of kids beg for a pet with promises that are soon broken when the novelty wears off.
Kids see animals as fluffy cuddles without the business end so to speak.

I'd rehome them OP. DS 14 was the same about getting a dog when he was 12. Number of times he has walked dog in past few weeks is in single digits- in our case DH also wanted the dog so he is his main carer and I do some walks.

Dogs at least are quite rewarding pets in terms of providing affection and truly bonding with you - unlike the gerbils we had before.

I'd rehome through a rescue.

This is so sad, they're such sociable little things. Rehome them and be clear to her that there will be no more pets brought into the family.

I wouldn't have them in a bedroom. The parent needs to make a commitment to looking after the animals for life when the child gets bored. If there is more than one guinea pig I dont think cuddles and attention are a problem. Guinea pigs are perfectly happy with their own company.

I disagree with pp to keep guinea pigs outside. They should not be kept outside in winter in the UK.

If you do rehome, agree with pp who said go via a rescue centre who will properly vet new owners.

Please dont get your children any more pets unless you are prepared to take care of them for life. Rescues are overflowing with stories like this

I’d find somewhere else in the house to keep them and accept you, as the adult, have primary responsibility for keeping them.

I'd definitely find them a good home. They won't care and will be much better off.

Rehome them cage included they'll soon find a new owner.
I spent two years grumbling looking after unwanted hamsters for DD.
I should have rehomed them early when she lost interest.
She can have another if she moves out.

Rehome them ffs. Poor GPs. You need to be the adult, seeing as you know, you ARE the adult.

Rehome them OP, it's best for the gpigs. And never make the same mistake again.

I'd also reclaim the biggest bedroom since she no longer needs the space to house the gpigs.

Rehome, only through a rescue centre, and DD has to make a rehoming donation to the centre. Good for the piggies, good for the rescue centre, good for you, and teaches your DD about natural consequences.

@Medievalist

Anyone who gets pets for their kids and doesn't assume ultimate responsibility for them is BU regardless of how many times the kids proooooomiiiiiiiiise they won't get bored.

^^ This

100% this

Don't deflect any of this onto your minor child. She wouldn't have even been legally allowed to buy them!

Anyway, yes, look for a rehome. They are really adorable animals and deserve a full life but they can be more hard work than people realise.

Another vote for a proper rehoming centre, not through random internet rehoming. Our local rehoming centre has allowed us the privilege of giving a loving, lasting home to several cats who were handed in for various reasons. They work with the animals with trauma too, and won't rehome them until they have spent the necessary time with plenty of 1:1 care to get them used to being around people. They will also vet any prospective rehomers and weed out the ones who wouldn't be any better than the situation you're in now.

Please, please @smashingfun don't do a private advert. Your daughter can still do photos and a write-up for the rehoming centre - when they're put on the rehoming website there is usually a little bit of 'blurb' about the animal(s) like their name, colouring, favourite foods, toys, games etc and whether they can cope in a family with young children, or whether an adults-only home would be preferred or whether they can be with other pets in a house, or need to be the only pet(s). And no, it wouldn't hurt your daughter to give them a donation from her pocket money to cover the acceptance costs of the rehoming centre!