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AIBU?

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Original poster

To force DD to keep the guinea pigs in her room?

197 replies

smashingfun · 06/09/2020 22:52

DD got 2 Guinea Pigs from and a large hutch for them for her 12th birthday in May. She had been begging for them for months and was ecstatic when we got them for her. The hutch is an indoor one with 2 floors and sits in her room. Her room is large. It's quite chilly where we live (up in the hills) and so we have them inside and it made sense for them to go in DD's room as they are her pets and we wanted her to take the main responsibility for them. We made clear that they were going to be her pets and not family ones. She was all over them for a month and since then her interest has dwindled. I end up doing all of the feeds, cleaning up the shite and taking them into the garden enclosure to play, I have 2 more kids under 3 years old so I could do without the extra responsibility. DD simply couldn't give a shit. One of them was ill last month and I had to take him to the vet and she showed no concern at all. Never asked what he was diagnosed with (chest infection) or showed interest when I came up to give him his medicine.

In the past month or so she has had somewhat of an emotional growth spurt. She changed just like that and now is all of a sudden into makeup and wants new clothes. I know that suddenly changing like that is normal for this age and I imagine she suddenly got a rush of hormones (I remember similar at that age, I suddenly decided I needed to 'grow up' and never looked back), but she's like a completely new person and I can barely keep up. She's now declared that she doesn't want the guinea pigs in her room anymore. I think she has decided it cramps the teenage style she wants to go for. She told me the other day it was embarrassing having her friends round because of them.

I don't know what to do. She has the biggest room in the house and I certainly don't have the space for them in any other room. I would like to rehome them but part of me also feels that it's a shitty message to send to DD. When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point. But I feel that is unfair on the piggies who deserve an attentive home where they will get the nurturing they deserve, I feel awful for even getting the poor things in the first place and do accept some responsibility for it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:
greenteafiend · 07/09/2020 00:11

Tempting. She's an entitled little horror at the moment. No doubt when I suggest we rehome the pigs she will ask for money because they were her birthday present

Wow. Just saw this.

She sounds like an utter brat, OP. I know 12yos can be difficult, but most would at least have the decency to show a little embarassment over being neglectful of their animals.

Smallest room and a warning that there will be no birthday presents, Xmas presents or pocket money until she has earned your respect through her behavior.

Taikoo · 07/09/2020 00:11

Rehome them.
Someone else will love and appreciate them.
She sounds very selfish.
Do not allow her to have a pet under your roof again.

HermioneMakepeace · 07/09/2020 00:12

Oh, how sad Sad. Guinea pigs are sociable creatures and need handling daily. Please rehome them and, if it was me, I would NEVER let your DD have a pet again.

Ideasplease322 · 07/09/2020 00:17

Rehome your daughter to a smaller bedroom.

I know it’s a tricky age, but you are right it’s a shitty lesson for her to learn. I have a pretty dim opinion of people who give up on pets when they discover there is work involved.

Hopefully she doesn’t decide she wants a kitten or puppy

AlwaysLatte · 07/09/2020 00:22

I wouldn't put them in a bedroom - too noisy and smelly... could you convert the cupboard under the stairs into a guinea pig haven?

Took · 07/09/2020 00:32

Bloody hell.

My DS got guinea pigs when he was 10, and is 12 now. Yes, interest dropped off but it was my responsibility to make sure he kept up taking care of them. Once you get past the 'I cant be booooothered' stage they do get into a routine and care for them with little fuss and bother.

My DS is amazing with them. Understands that he is responsible for a living creature, they are totally dependent on him, and he's also responsible for their happiness. They're now pampered little princes and absolutely doted on.

It does take a lot on the adults part to make sure they dont just shrug their shoulders and then leave the care to everyone and anyone else.

If you cant get her onside and caring for them then definitely do rehome with a charity.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/09/2020 00:35

Horrible parenting all around. You bought innocent animals as though they are toys and are now blaming a child for not caring for them properly. FFS.

WhereYouLeftIt · 07/09/2020 00:40

Rehoming them is the answer for the guinea pigs, you do not have the time for them and left to her they would be neglected.

But as to her having the largest room, I do wonder if it adds to her sense of importance over you - and as such, I think that is something that should change.

"We used to have that room and she was in the second bedroom. But we are on a main road and she always found the noise of the traffic kept her awake as a young child because that room was at the front of the house so we moved her into that room."
Thick curtains to deaden the traffic noise, and move her back into that room. With the guinea pigs gone, she doesn't need as much space now, does she? And if that room is good enough for her parents to sleep in, it's good enough for her.

"She's an entitled little horror at the moment. No doubt when I suggest we rehome the pigs she will ask for money because they were her birthday present Hmm"
Yes they were her present, and she doesn't want them any more. She's treated them like a bag of sweeties that she's eaten greedily and now finished with. No refills.

Somethingkindaoooo · 07/09/2020 00:42

@Aquamarine1029

Horrible parenting all around. You bought innocent animals as though they are toys and are now blaming a child for not caring for them properly. FFS.
Yep

And its bonkers to have them in her room.

SeaToSki · 07/09/2020 00:43

Tell DD, we can rehome the piggies (and you have to do the foot work on that) and then we will rebedroom you. She can go back in the smaller front bedroom with a fan for white noise. You and DH can have the big bedroom back and she can help you paint both rooms and move all the furniture. At 12, if the traffic keeps her awake, she can learn how to manage it with some coaching from you. She wont have perfectly quiet bedrooms for the rest of her life unless she is planning on not going to University/living in a city etc

CiCiFreakingBabcock · 07/09/2020 00:48

[quote smashingfun]@Hangingbasketofdoom Tempting. She's an entitled little horror at the moment. No doubt when I suggest we rehome the pigs she will ask for money because they were her birthday present Hmm[/quote]
@smashingfun - set her straight on not getting get any money when they're rehomed. The last thing she needs to think/learn is animals are disposal and she can get $$ when she does it. Plus I wouldn't involve her in the rehoming - if it were dolls or a train set then all good but not living animals as it can go horribly wrong easily and quickly and the guinea pigs will be the ones who suffer.

BrummyMum1 · 07/09/2020 01:08

I’m going against the grain and siding with your DD on this one. I had guinea pigs growing up but there’s no way I would have wanted their hutch in my bedroom. I wouldn’t have wanted the noise or the smell while I slept.

Yeahnahmum · 07/09/2020 01:12

Yabu for getting a 12 yo guinea pigs
She is a teenager.... of course she is going to not take care of them and loose all interest. She is, after all, a teenager.
She will soon be into boys. And going out. And tik tok. Not 2 lame hamsters

You were super U to buy her this op. And very naive...

caringcarer · 07/09/2020 01:42

I would rehome and put ad on vets notice board. If she were my dd she would be moving into smaller bedroom and you have larger one. She sounds very entitled. Your job is to stop giving her everything she wants. Guinea pigs in a bedroom would smell really bad even if cleaned out each day and worse in winter with central heating.

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2020 01:55

sadly you have learnt the hard way why you don’t buy pets for children unless you actually want the pet yourself

This.

All the baying for the DD's blood and punishment and consequences are silly. Of course children lose interest. This teaches them not to get a pet for themselves when they leave home because they already learned it's work they don't want to do. But you can't expect a child to commit to a long-lived animal. They don't know that but we should, as parents.

Durgasarrow · 07/09/2020 02:46

I don't think it is possible to know what it's like to have pets until you have them. And they smell bad. I think the punishment could be not letting her have any more.

violetbunny · 07/09/2020 02:58

I would rehome her. Make her swap to a smaller room and keep the piggies where they are.

pushkinsinsanity · 07/09/2020 03:02

[quote smashingfun]@Hangingbasketofdoom Tempting. She's an entitled little horror at the moment. No doubt when I suggest we rehome the pigs she will ask for money because they were her birthday present Hmm[/quote]
You have problems other than the guinea pigs that need sorting but for now be kind to the guinea pigs and find them a lovely home via a rescue centre. Do not put them in the garden where they will be ignored.

malificent7 · 07/09/2020 03:11

It's so not horrible parenting op. You did your best...you gave her a stern talking to before hand and she e ignored you. You are rightcully annoyed with her.
My 12 year old is like this...and no...that's not because you are a bad mum...it's because she is 12!! Hormones have kicked in and fitting in is priority now.
Mind you on mn you must never ever get a pet unless you keep it forever ( even if people/ circumstances change).

greenteafiend · 07/09/2020 03:25

You can block out traffic noise with thick curtains and a fan/white noise if necessary.

seayork2020 · 07/09/2020 04:38

An adult is fully responsible for an pet not a child, and no I do not think Guinea pigs in bedrooms are healthy.

Sure kids should look after pets if they want them but it is ultimately the adult who decides so if you don't want in the place don't get them again

twinguineas · 07/09/2020 04:56

@malificent7

It's so not horrible parenting op. You did your best...you gave her a stern talking to before hand and she e ignored you. You are rightcully annoyed with her. My 12 year old is like this...and no...that's not because you are a bad mum...it's because she is 12!! Hormones have kicked in and fitting in is priority now. Mind you on mn you must never ever get a pet unless you keep it forever ( even if people/ circumstances change).
Circumstances change in unpredictable ways, there is nothing unpredictable about a child getting bored with a pet four months later. The guinea pigs should be in the lounge not in a room where they normally get no company all day. Don't advertise them online for sale, you have no idea if they will become much loved pets, neglected, breeding machines or live snake food If you pm me where you are in the country I will be able to find details of a good rescue centre for you.
Somanysocks · 07/09/2020 05:19

@AlwaysLatte

I wouldn't put them in a bedroom - too noisy and smelly... could you convert the cupboard under the stairs into a guinea pig haven?
What a horrible suggestion!
Tomatoesneedtoripen · 07/09/2020 06:23

hamsters would have been a better choice imo.
i think she is too young to rehome
if you really dont want to take the responsibility on then rehome
do you have a shed?

Contactscontact · 07/09/2020 06:33

We have guinea pigs and I’ve always told dd she’s not allowed them in her room however much she would like them there-the mess is bad enough downstairs without having hay all over the carpet upstairs too! Plus they like being near enough to the kitchen to hear the fridge door open!
Could you try them elsewhere and maybe link her pocket money/allowance to Guineapig related chores?