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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To force DD to keep the guinea pigs in her room?

197 replies

smashingfun · 06/09/2020 22:52

DD got 2 Guinea Pigs from and a large hutch for them for her 12th birthday in May. She had been begging for them for months and was ecstatic when we got them for her. The hutch is an indoor one with 2 floors and sits in her room. Her room is large. It's quite chilly where we live (up in the hills) and so we have them inside and it made sense for them to go in DD's room as they are her pets and we wanted her to take the main responsibility for them. We made clear that they were going to be her pets and not family ones. She was all over them for a month and since then her interest has dwindled. I end up doing all of the feeds, cleaning up the shite and taking them into the garden enclosure to play, I have 2 more kids under 3 years old so I could do without the extra responsibility. DD simply couldn't give a shit. One of them was ill last month and I had to take him to the vet and she showed no concern at all. Never asked what he was diagnosed with (chest infection) or showed interest when I came up to give him his medicine.

In the past month or so she has had somewhat of an emotional growth spurt. She changed just like that and now is all of a sudden into makeup and wants new clothes. I know that suddenly changing like that is normal for this age and I imagine she suddenly got a rush of hormones (I remember similar at that age, I suddenly decided I needed to 'grow up' and never looked back), but she's like a completely new person and I can barely keep up. She's now declared that she doesn't want the guinea pigs in her room anymore. I think she has decided it cramps the teenage style she wants to go for. She told me the other day it was embarrassing having her friends round because of them.

I don't know what to do. She has the biggest room in the house and I certainly don't have the space for them in any other room. I would like to rehome them but part of me also feels that it's a shitty message to send to DD. When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point. But I feel that is unfair on the piggies who deserve an attentive home where they will get the nurturing they deserve, I feel awful for even getting the poor things in the first place and do accept some responsibility for it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:

sixswans · 07/09/2020 10:12

@VeganCow

With a decent hutch and lots of straw they should be ok outside for most of the year, and likely will be happier.

Awful advice. IGNORE, everyone.

www.pdsa.org.uk/taking-care-of-your-pet/looking-after-your-pet/small-pets/the-ideal-home-for-your-guinea-pig

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 07/09/2020 10:12

oh yes thank you @Candyflosscookie, I forgot

SmallestInTheClass · 07/09/2020 10:12

Rehome them. I'd never have planned to have them in a child's room, they are quite smelly animals even if cleaned out regularly. Please don't make the poor animals suffer, they'll be bored and miserable if she's not interested in them. Don't do it just to teach your daughter a lesson.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 07/09/2020 10:13

I'd sellotape them to the sides of her head until she resolves the problem that she's created by re-homing them properly and sympathetically.

Hmm, may be not now I think about it, as it isn't really fair on the piggies.

DidoAtTheLido · 07/09/2020 10:17

Just get them re-homed.

This was wholly predictable, children change a lot at this age.

Drop all the heavy handed sermonising, just acknowledge that animals need caring committed homes so re-homing is best.

AmelieTaylor · 07/09/2020 10:17

@SeaToSki

Tell DD, we can rehome the piggies (and you have to do the foot work on that) and then we will rebedroom you. She can go back in the smaller front bedroom with a fan for white noise. You and DH can have the big bedroom back and she can help you paint both rooms and move all the furniture. At 12, if the traffic keeps her awake, she can learn how to manage it with some coaching from you. She wont have perfectly quiet bedrooms for the rest of her life unless she is planning on not going to University/living in a city etc

As she's being such an entitled little madam I think this is a great idea!!

Far more impact than lots of other suggestions!

Yes, you both made mistakes and I'm sure you've learnt from your part in it. But Jesus wept, that you really think she'd have the nerve to ask for money as they were her birthday money, I really think she needs a wake up call re her behaviour. (Her attitude more than not wanting the guinea pigs anymore).

Definitely do not compound your own mistakes here by rehoming them yourself. MN has a lot of guinea pig owners with long posting histories who might be looking or phone small pet rescues, they'll have waiting lists!!

I would love to take them for you, as I really miss having GP's, but unfortunately I'm not in a position to commit to 6-8 years at the moment, so we're remaining 'Sadly pet free'.

I'm surprised a 12 yo is embarrassed to have GP's in her room. The Hamsters or Guinea Pigs were always a big draw card, even at that age & older!

Not so much the cleaning! But although they helped I always took charge of that and we had them in the Utility Room. Or should I say, they had the utility room! 🤣

MJMG2015 · 07/09/2020 10:20

@labazsisgoingmad

i run a rescue in worcestershire and if you are near me i would take them willingly. sorry but these poor creatures are not being looked after properly by your daughter. they need love and attention and though you are obviously doing your best you are clearly struggling. please if i am not near you look online or fb for a nearby rescue.

@smashingfun

Just to bring to your attention in case you missed this offer!!

BigBlondeBimbo · 07/09/2020 10:22

I love Guinea pigs, but even I wouldn't want them in my bedroom! My favourite guinea pig when I was a child was extremely vocal. Even the vet commented on it when she stayed with them. They also smell. I can see why she doesn't want them in her room.

However, I don't think moving them to another room is going to help, as she doesn't seem to want them full stop. As has been suggested many times on here, find a decent rehoming centre and ask them to rehome them. Maybe you could make a donation to them too.

As has been said, I think when getting pets 'for kids', you have to be ready to look after them yourself, as kids to change their minds when there's hard work or bad smells etc involved, even if they promised.

dontgobaconmyheart · 07/09/2020 10:24

Definitely rehome OP. Involve her in the process, explain why it's necessary and that DD has an element of responsibility for their welfare as living creatures, the world doesn't revolve around her and that isn't a bad thing. I would contact a charity who will vet them properly and give to a suitably vetted home, not restart the existing cycle by giving them away online and have her make a donation. Then move on, no need to deliberately try to make her feel guilty past the point of what is necessary for this to be a life lesson.

woodhill · 07/09/2020 10:33

Please rehome if you cannot manage. They are such wonderful animals and need lots of tlc.

I understand it is hard with little ones

woodhill · 07/09/2020 10:40

My ds still takes care of our gp who is in the kitchen, he used to love the gps from the age of 2 as we have always had them

Toddlerteaplease · 07/09/2020 10:46

Rehome the entitled little brat Instead. I had my piggy and my sisters hamster in our room. They weren't noisy at all.

IJustWantSomeBees · 07/09/2020 10:47

The fault is definitely yours, not your DD's. So fed up of parents using animals as props to 'teach' their kids lessons. Never bring an animal into the home unless you, the adult, are able and willing to provide the quality of care that that animal deserves.

Pandacub7 · 07/09/2020 10:56

I wouldn’t want to keep a hutch in my bedroom either. Do you have a shed or garage to keep them in? Your DD might want to look after them then. I agree with other PP - make her responsible for re-homing them and her pocket money could go towards an animal charity. I’m also confused why she still has the biggest room when she isn’t sharing.

Pandacub7 · 07/09/2020 10:59

Also found @SeaToSki comment funny: “we’ll re-bedroom you.” She won’t be in a perfectly quiet bedroom forever if she goes to university or moves into a flat.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/09/2020 11:06

rehome them and learn a lesson, 99% of kids how promise they will look after their pets will not follow through

WeAllHaveWings · 07/09/2020 11:21

she has a duty to care for them until they die etc

She is 12, that was your duty not hers. As the adult it was entirely your responsibility to factor in the novelty wearing off.

Rehome them responsibly through a rehoming center, not through Gumtree adverts.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/09/2020 11:25

When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point

I'm sure at that time when you had that conversation she really believed that she would love looking after them and wasn't lying to you but she would have had no idea of what that would really entail and that she would be most likely get tired of it.....you however, as the adult should have known that this would happen. Don't use a living creature to teach your child a lesson

Mittens030869 · 07/09/2020 11:37

Please rehome if you cannot manage. They are such wonderful animals and need lots of tlc.

I absolutely adored my guinea-pig when I was a small child. She was so cuddly and such a character.

Carpathian2 · 07/09/2020 11:44

I have two guinea pigs in my bedroom. Similar situation, my ds got bored of them so they ended up in my room. I really love them, the sit on the bed with me ( on a towel, cos they're messy) and are lovely characters. They don't keep me awake.

They're nearly 8 now, I'll miss them when they're gone.

AriettyHomily · 07/09/2020 11:49

You get a pet for a child, you get a pet for you. Rehome the poor creatures if you can't be bothered to look after them.

differentnameforthis · 07/09/2020 11:50

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

I despair at kids like your daughter. Getting into makeup and clothes is fine, to stop giving a shit about pets is not fine. I’d be telling her how fucking disgusted and ashamed I was of her. If she wants to be a shallow person who cares more about what she looks like than living things then there would be a massive issue in our house and I’d tell her exactly what I think of her. She might only be 12, but if she’s vile and selfish, she needs telling. As for it being embarrassing... wtf.... what type of people find having animals embarrassing? I’d say you have big problems to come unless you get her to change her attitude.

Wow... that's a horrible attitude to have towards a child you don't know! Ultimately this is on the parents, you don't buy animals for birthdays/Christmases exactly because of this.

But yeah, let's attack a 12yr old because her parents didn't think this through.

differentnameforthis · 07/09/2020 11:56

@Toddlerteaplease

Rehome the entitled little brat Instead. I had my piggy and my sisters hamster in our room. They weren't noisy at all.

Can we please STOP calling this child names? It's nasty and uncalled for. Her parents bought them for her and are surprised that she has grown up a bit, and no longer wants them.

longestlurkerever · 07/09/2020 11:58

FFS the comments on here.

Emeraldshamrock · 07/09/2020 12:06

Disgusting comments here.
Most DC lose interest in a pet for many reason there is no need for name calling.

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