Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To force DD to keep the guinea pigs in her room?

197 replies

smashingfun · 06/09/2020 22:52

DD got 2 Guinea Pigs from and a large hutch for them for her 12th birthday in May. She had been begging for them for months and was ecstatic when we got them for her. The hutch is an indoor one with 2 floors and sits in her room. Her room is large. It's quite chilly where we live (up in the hills) and so we have them inside and it made sense for them to go in DD's room as they are her pets and we wanted her to take the main responsibility for them. We made clear that they were going to be her pets and not family ones. She was all over them for a month and since then her interest has dwindled. I end up doing all of the feeds, cleaning up the shite and taking them into the garden enclosure to play, I have 2 more kids under 3 years old so I could do without the extra responsibility. DD simply couldn't give a shit. One of them was ill last month and I had to take him to the vet and she showed no concern at all. Never asked what he was diagnosed with (chest infection) or showed interest when I came up to give him his medicine.

In the past month or so she has had somewhat of an emotional growth spurt. She changed just like that and now is all of a sudden into makeup and wants new clothes. I know that suddenly changing like that is normal for this age and I imagine she suddenly got a rush of hormones (I remember similar at that age, I suddenly decided I needed to 'grow up' and never looked back), but she's like a completely new person and I can barely keep up. She's now declared that she doesn't want the guinea pigs in her room anymore. I think she has decided it cramps the teenage style she wants to go for. She told me the other day it was embarrassing having her friends round because of them.

I don't know what to do. She has the biggest room in the house and I certainly don't have the space for them in any other room. I would like to rehome them but part of me also feels that it's a shitty message to send to DD. When she was begging for them we had a stern talk about responsibility, how she has a duty to care for them until they die etc. I don't want to teach her that she can just get rid when she is bored of them. I think she's been an ungrateful, unpleasant little so and so about it all. DH is annoyed with her and insists we make her keep them in her room to prove a point. But I feel that is unfair on the piggies who deserve an attentive home where they will get the nurturing they deserve, I feel awful for even getting the poor things in the first place and do accept some responsibility for it all.

Any advice?

OP posts:
englishrosie · 07/09/2020 18:29

Aaaaand that’s why you shouldn’t buy your kids animals.

Angelina82 · 07/09/2020 19:25

Think of all the cute pictures she could be putting on Instagram of her with her piggies. A lost opportunity.

What a horrible reason to keep a pet. You sound more immature and irresponsible than OP’s daughter!

YardleyX · 07/09/2020 19:26

“Today 15:10 MrsTerryPratchett

I think it's ironic that some of the 'compassionate' pet owners on here appear to have no compassion or understanding of children. The name calling and suggestions of shaming and punishing a child for an entirely foreseeable event are quite odd.

Shaming and punishing doesn't encourage empathy, which is what seems lacking here. Shame causes avoidant behaviour, exactly what is happening.”

Perfect analysis by MrsTerryPratchett above.

Greentulips1 · 07/09/2020 20:13

@noblebarry

Guinea pigs get very lonely on their own. It is illegal to own only one in Switzerland, they really need piggie company and to be in pairs as a minimum. They shouldn't be in a shed, garage or outside in UK winter. They are timid by nature, very prone to chest infections, and not akin to hamsters. People think they are low maintenance but they are not. OP should rehome via a rescue centre, not her own ‘personal homechecking’, and also not get daughter involved in this. Actually put the pigs first and handle daughter’s issues separately. Honestly hate to hear of adults misjudging pet needs.
This 👌🏼
Hangingbasketofdoom · 07/09/2020 21:24

@Angelina82

Think of all the cute pictures she could be putting on Instagram of her with her piggies. A lost opportunity.

What a horrible reason to keep a pet. You sound more immature and irresponsible than OP’s daughter!

Really, Angelina? You didn't read the rest of my post(s) then about the pigs I have and our duties towards animals we bring into our homes? OP said her dd was embarrassed to bring friends into her room because of them, I was trying to point out some of the pluses as might be seen by a 12 year old dd. Hmm
differentnameforthis · 08/09/2020 10:24

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

The name calling and suggestions of shaming and punishing a child for an entirely foreseeable event are quite odd.

Entirely foreseeable ? Only if you have kids that don’t care about animals. So many people excusing this behaviour. She’s 12, not 4.

Stop it Booze!! My dd LOVES her bunny, yet she was 10 when dh got it against my wishes, and as I predicted, she lost interest in its day to day care. Doesn't mean she doesn't love it, she would be devastated if it got sick!

You are seemingly very happy to make a child the bad guy here.

Mittens030869 · 08/09/2020 10:48

@differentnameforthis

That's exactly how my DDs are with our cats. They adore them but don't do the day to day care. They sometimes feed them, although mostly I end up doing it (otherwise they drive me up the wall with their miaows!! Wink).

It's unrealistic to expect children to do the day to day work, which is why you shouldn't get them a pet unless you're happy to do the work.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 08/09/2020 11:17

Doesn't mean she doesn't love it, she would be devastated if it got sick!

But OPs daughter wasn’t devastated when her guinea pig got sick. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Completely different to your daughter so not sure how your story is relevant. I’ve already said I can see kids would tire of the cleaning and ‘boring stuff’. It’s the lack of live that’s disturbing.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 08/09/2020 11:18

*love

KarmaStar · 08/09/2020 11:42

If she can't look after the poor guinea pigs tell her as she is now grown up she can wear ear plugs and take the smaller bedroom and you take the bigger bedroom back and either care for them as you clearly are doing well or re home them,that does rather send her the message,as you suggested,that when you're fed up with a pet you can just get rid of him or her.has she got any pet loving friends who could come round and make a fuss and perhaps help her to see these are living creatures with feelings and emotions?
If they do have to go,please ensure they stay as a pair and you are confident this is a home for life.There would definitely be consequences for this ,I appreciate she is growing up fast and constantly changing,but she needs to be clear on animal welfare .

Angelina82 · 08/09/2020 12:39

Think of all the cute pictures she could be putting on Instagram of her with her piggies. A lost opportunity.**

What a horrible reason to keep a pet. You sound more immature and irresponsible than OP’s daughter!
Really, Angelina? You didn't read the rest of my post(s) then about the pigs I have and our duties towards animals we bring into our homes? OP said her dd was embarrassed to bring friends into her room because of them, I was trying to point out some of the pluses as might be seen by a 12 year old dd.

Yes I did read all your post but focused on this part because it’s the bit I totally disagree with. To encourage a kid to keep an unloved pet for Instagram likes is shallow, fickle and just plain wrong!

Hangingbasketofdoom · 08/09/2020 16:18

I'm guessing humour/sarcasm doesn't always translate well in the written word.

Mittens030869 · 08/09/2020 16:43

@Hangingbasketofdoom

I'm guessing humour/sarcasm doesn't always translate well in the written word.

I know what you mean. I've made that mistake myself in the past, being taken seriously when I was only being tongue in cheek. It doesn't work very well on Mumsnet, I've found.

Deadposhtory · 08/09/2020 16:48

This is why when mine begged for a dog, I made sure I was happy with a 15 year commitment. Ultimately it's the adults responsibility not the child's

twinguineas · 08/09/2020 22:33

@labazsisgoingmad

i run a rescue in worcestershire and if you are near me i would take them willingly. sorry but these poor creatures are not being looked after properly by your daughter. they need love and attention and though you are obviously doing your best you are clearly struggling. please if i am not near you look online or fb for a nearby rescue.
Waves at fellow guinea pug rescue person Grin
Pinkyandthebrainz · 08/09/2020 23:03

Find them a new home and don't get her anymore pets

Angelina82 · 08/09/2020 23:07

'm guessing humour/sarcasm doesn't always translate well in the written word.

Oh so now you’re saying your comment was a joke. Funny (unlike your joke) you never mentioned that in your last reply then isn’t it?

Hangingbasketofdoom · 08/09/2020 23:31

Oh my god. I'm going to guess you struggle a bit with tone. Yes of course a comment about keeping pets as an insta opportunity is not meant in a serious, literal sense. But do I think it odd a child her age wouldn't see the "cute" side of selfies with her pets well yes I do as they seem to spend half their life taking pictures. You have completely overreacted to the comment and are doubling down instead of letting it drop.
I admire your persistence. (Is that a joke? Or is it not?)

Hangingbasketofdoom · 08/09/2020 23:31

Thank you, @Mittens030869

honeygirlz · 08/09/2020 23:40

I would rehome the pigs and tell her that she's never getting a never pet again. She had she shot. And no extra birthday money, why is she so entitled?

PurpleFlower1983 · 08/09/2020 23:40

Pets should never be bought as the sole responsibility of a child for exactly this reason, rehome them via a rescue.

22Giraffes · 20/09/2020 17:56

What's the situation with the pigs now @smashingfun?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page