To tell my plot neighbour I know her secret

[Oysterbabe]

(Lighthearted)
I have an allotment. It is poorly maintained but I do my best. I have a job, a 2 and 4 year old and I don't keep on top of it as much as I should. It gives me a lot of pleasure when I do get a good session down there though so I persevere. I have a monster pumpkin growing right now that I'm very proud of.

My plot neighbour has a beautiful, pristine plot that produces an endless stream of perfect fruit and vegetables. When I see her down there she's relaxing on her bench or gently pruning something. I often compliment her plot and express how envious I am. She'll usually give me a benevolent smile and say something about it's hard work but worth the effort.

Last night I popped down pretty late, just before dark, to stash some things I'd bought in the shed. There was a man there strimming her plot. I asked if he was a relative of plot neighbour and he wasn't. He is her gardener. He goes there once a week to do the weeding, keep everything tidy and prepare beds for planting.

WIBU to drop him into conversation next time she's watching me waist deep in bindweed?

Why does it matter, assuming she's not judgemental/rude about your weeds it's neither here nor there if she has a gardeners

Perhaps she has the plot to sit in and enjoy but doesn't want to do the work? Fair enough if she pays him!

Don’t tell her you know, just have fun with it. Talk about how rewarding it is to grow a big pumpkin after all your hard efforts. Tell her you admire the results of other allotmenteers who’ve been rewarded for their hard work with what they’ve produced. Smirk just enough to get her wondering if you know.

I don’t see why you would do that.

Strikes me as weird when people vote, but don't comment!

YANBU. I'd bide my time though...pick your moment for maximum satisfaction!!

How big is your plot?

I think I quite fancy one, but I'd need to be able to have raised beds on it as my knees and left hip are screwed, so I can no longer kneel down (or get up/down to sit on the ground, it's majorly Fucking annoying frankly)

But shed, chair to relax in, raised beds for fresh veg...

Hahah that’s hilarious!!

I wouldn’t mention the man, but I wouldn’t be able to not pass compliments on that it makes take her a long time, I don’t know how she does it and wow, you really are a great gardener.

Also can’t help but think there is a lesson learnt here. That women is clever, I wonder what I could apply that too in my life?

It's no wonder her plot looks good! I would definitely drop it into conversation at a time where it will make her cringe! Some people love all the credit for no work and it is the most pointless thing to lie about!

@BestOption me too, but this time there are 7 votes and 7 comments so a good start!

@OneForMeToo

I don’t see why you would do that.

Did you miss this bit..

She'll usually give me a benevolent smile and say something about it's hard work but worth the effort

Or that it's lighthearted?!?!

Did you ask if he could work for you too?

She’d get a surprise when she sees him working the next door plot!

That is so funny!

[quote PoodleMoth]@BestOption me too, but this time there are 7 votes and 7 comments so a good start![/quote]
When I started writing my pist, there were 4 bites & no comments! I guess everyone else was just writing theirs! But quite often there can be loads of votes and just a few comments 🤷🏻‍♀️

She might not have told you because she might suspect you would judge her. Which has backfired as you are judging her anyway.

I have a nice garden and I work and work and work in it. I also have a gardener.

I think you are mean to assume she is trying to trick you.

Why would you do that?

Oh yes - just to be nasty.

Ha ha, that's brilliant. Although I confess I kind of have the same. I work full time but enjoy the plot at weekends and during the holidays but my plot neighbour is now retired and waters for me, has cleared all the weeds from behind our sheds and is going to sort out our shared path during the Autumn. I just pay him in cake.

I wouldn't be able to stop myself making little teasing remarks that she couldn't quite be sure about.

This is so funny OP! There are lots of ppl on this thread who are clearly kind and nice, with good morals - and not petty like me but I’d have to let her know I knew somehow even just a “oh I met your lovely friend the other week! such a nice man” and leave it there for her to squirm lightly

I'm definitely with @workhomesleeprepeat

Next time you see her, ask for the name of her gardener.

It's not nasty if someone is basking in praise they don't deserve, and being deceitful.

Plus OP clearly said its lighthearted.

Absolutely brilliant!! I manage allotments as part of my job and I can only imagine the rivalry that goes in to maintaining some of the plots!
I would have to drop it into conversation just to see her face!!

I'd mention in feigned horror that you know of someone else who has a gardener do their allotment and how you'd never so such a thing, how proud you are of all your hard work

I'm also an allotmenteer.

Absolutely definitely what @workhomesleeprepeat said.

The three pristine allotments that surround my 'wildlife haven' are the result of commitment and hard work, but if I discovered one of them was paying a gardener I'd definitely not be above an innocent comment or two.

Id have so much fun with this. Tell her you were at your plot late and noticed a guy hanging around on her plot looking quite dodgy and you're not sure if you need to report it to the police, she'll have to fess up then 😂

Ha ha! I’ve got to admire her style. I would contemplate an allotment if I could have a gardener do all the hard work!

YANBU, OP but I agree with others to bide your time and drop it in at just the right point.

Why would she squirm?! She pays a gardener, so what? I'm confused.