To tell my plot neighbour I know her secret

[Oysterbabe]

(Lighthearted)
I have an allotment. It is poorly maintained but I do my best. I have a job, a 2 and 4 year old and I don't keep on top of it as much as I should. It gives me a lot of pleasure when I do get a good session down there though so I persevere. I have a monster pumpkin growing right now that I'm very proud of.

My plot neighbour has a beautiful, pristine plot that produces an endless stream of perfect fruit and vegetables. When I see her down there she's relaxing on her bench or gently pruning something. I often compliment her plot and express how envious I am. She'll usually give me a benevolent smile and say something about it's hard work but worth the effort.

Last night I popped down pretty late, just before dark, to stash some things I'd bought in the shed. There was a man there strimming her plot. I asked if he was a relative of plot neighbour and he wasn't. He is her gardener. He goes there once a week to do the weeding, keep everything tidy and prepare beds for planting.

WIBU to drop him into conversation next time she's watching me waist deep in bindweed?

If he's only there once a week and it's always pristine she's still doing a fair bit of gardening.

@Thenneverendingstorohree

Why would she squirm?! She pays a gardener, so what? I'm confused.

Because she's been telling everyone it's all her own hard work.

Haha. "Hard work" I'd mention it.

She's a perfectly pleasant woman and I bear her no ill will. I think it's funny She's never once complained about weed contamination coming from my plot and I'm grateful for that.
I just think that if someone regularly complimented my plot I would have mentioned that I had some help with it. She may also work very hard on the plot but it's not all her work and she does imply that it is.

I would ask for the number of her gardener as he's done a good job of hers and he seemed nice when you met him

I would make a big deal about how hard it is for you to keep up, what with your full time job and children, and whisper, 'do you think it would be AWFUL if I got a gardener?'

Haha that's brilliant!

That’s brilliant! I would ask her for her gardener’s number!

She's never once complained about weed contamination coming from my plot and I'm grateful for that

She doesn't know!

Next time she says it's hard work but worth the effort, say oh yes I have seen 'Peter' slaving away - he is a hard worker' benevolent smile.

Your plot neighbour rocks - bloody genius I say

@Purplewithred

I'm also an allotmenteer.

Absolutely definitely what @workhomesleeprepeat said.

The three pristine allotments that surround my 'wildlife haven' are the result of commitment and hard work, but if I discovered one of them was paying a gardener I'd definitely not be above an innocent comment or two.

Lol.

I have a "wildlife haven" too! Have used those exact words many a time...

I'd ask for a recommendation for a gardener to help tidy up your plot as you're thinking about getting some quotes as your finding it hard to keep up with the weeds.

OMG that’s my kind of allotment! sitting gently pruning an odd plant here and there with a glass in hand whilst watching a (in my head at least) buff gardener doing all things sweaty. Your plot neighbour may be an evil genius

I don’t think there is any reason to mention her gardener to anyone, not even her.
You said she is a “perfectly pleasant woman”.

From one messy and full of weeds allotment owner to another, I would keep this one under my hat and let her talk and talk about her hard work. Sometimes knowing the secret is all the fun part! Once its out there, its over with.

'I saw your gardener here the other day and he seemed like a really hard worker. I wondered if I could get his number. It would be good to have a little help. Obviously I would still want to do most of it myself as otherwise there wouldn't be much fun in having an allotment.'

Lol I would do the same as this lady.

"Because she's been telling everyone it's all her own hard work."

No, she said it's hard work, but she didn't say it was her that was doing it, did she? It's hard work for her gardener. She wasn't being untruthful.

I'm going to go with wildlife haven in future. I did see several slow worms today, I don't want to disturb their habitat too much

Next time you see her, rush over all exasperated and tell her you saw a man in her garden and how worried you were that someone was in the allotments fiddling with other people's marrows.

at the moment those who can pay for extra help on allotments keep hold of theirs. The rest, single parents, those who have chronic condiitons will lose theirs.

Regulations need to change. Allotments are big business at the moment and for those who can afford to pay for help.

No, that is not right. Yes, that is the way it is.

prepare to be evicted hon, that is the way things are going. Sadly.

Joy suckers are out in force I see, what part of lighthearted did you not get

Isn't this the opening to an episode of Mrs Marple? Stay safe OP.