To think hate speach against mums on Instagram / YouTube should be make a crime

[Bekindnotabully]

With social media it's allowed amazing ways to communicate with people. But it's also allowed trolling and harrasment to happen at unprecedented scale.

Sites like tattle life and increasing Mumsnet allow people to troll women that make their living out of social media and the current rules in place don't allow the police to identify and bring to justice the trolls. You can pretty much say what you like including bullying someone over their appearance and their parenting with zero repreciousons. It's not on and needs to change.

I could go on but aibu to think these rules need to change? People are taking their own lives and the government did not approve my petition to afford people on social media greater human rights protection.

I don’t know Susie of anything about her.

I do think the whole influencer thing has become ridiculous and toxic. I can’t believe how many people are happy to share so much of their children(who cannot consent) to make money.

Someone mentioned Charlotte Louise Taylor above and she is a good example of this, I could also easily find her home and know the layout, I know the names and ages of her children and the classes they attend and on which days, about her child’s medical issues and more, that is because she puts all of that out there for anyone to see. They are wheeled out for ad after ad. She shares them so much because they are the ones who bring the money in but at what cost?

The police are going to be very busy if they have to investigate every time someone is horrible online!

True hate crimes and threats should be investigated though.

It's been proved time and time again that these "instamums" do a lot of trolling of each other plus say racist shit. I have no sympathy I'm disappointed that Instamum who said racist things about one of her colleagues is allowed to remain a practising midwife in London I wouldn't want her to be looking after me in Labour

If it's causing problems for her mental health perhaps she should stop sharing every element on her life on Instagram

If you want fame you have to take the good with the bad

The daily mail write scathing articles on celebrities daily. It is what it is.

@Thesearmsofmine

I don’t know Susie of anything about her.

I do think the whole influencer thing has become ridiculous and toxic. I can’t believe how many people are happy to share so much of their children(who cannot consent) to make money.

Someone mentioned Charlotte Louise Taylor above and she is a good example of this, I could also easily find her home and know the layout, I know the names and ages of her children and the classes they attend and on which days, about her child’s medical issues and more, that is because she puts all of that out there for anyone to see. They are wheeled out for ad after ad. She shares them so much because they are the ones who bring the money in but at what cost?

charlotte is an absolute disgrace!!

she romanticises everything and over explains the tiniest thing......the way she treats her children disgusts me

the new extension.....paid for by the kids
wedding.....paid for by the kids

vile!

I have no children @Bekindnotabully. Am I fair game then?

I agree that direct messages to people are wrong and uncalled for (I'm talking about blatant hate messages not genuine criticisms of people's businesses). But otherwise, opinions on MN and Tattle aren't shoved in anyone's faces. If 'influencers' are reading them then they've gone out of their way to directly access them. If they find it upsetting, they shouldn't be reading them.

I'm a mum, Katie Hopkins is a mum, Rose West is a mum - are we included in your special dispensation?

I'm aware Rose West isn't on insta, just being glib to illustrate that being a mum is irrelevant

Forgot to add to my reply below that the screen shots of the influencer IG story @Bekindnotabully shared appears to be about a blocked number the influencer is receiving harassing phone calls from.

That is a totally different situation. You can't think that someone receiving harassing phone calls from a blocked number on their private mobile number is the same thing as having someone's business criticised for poor service on the internet and the business owner seeking out the posts and reading them but not liking what is said.

@Bekindnotabully is twisting things around to make her friend's situation worse off than it actually is

not sure why some of that appeared in bold, but it's not a quote

@Bekindnotabully

It's one thing fair commentary but another thing ripping someone apart limb by limb for every post. That's not on.

Another insta mum now has daily police contact and they can trace users with their ip address in a matter of minutes on Instagram, tattle or Mumsnet. All these people hiding behind fake accounts will be unmasked and for their own sake should start to treat people with respect.

This is absolute nonsense. All the police can do is trace an IP address. They then need to go to the provider with a warrant (if granted) to obtain the user details. The police have no general access to user details at all. The police generally make that VERY clear to anyone complaining about internet harassment. Generally this area is pretty under resourced and most time and effort quite rightly is devoted to child sexual abuse images investigations rather than spats between adults on the internet where there is no protected characteristic element. Hopefully any adult influencer would be able to comprehend and accept that children suffering from sexual abuse are more in need of protection than their hurty feelz because someone said they had a big nose or their style work wasn't very good or whatever. You would hope so - although I have my doubts given what has been posted here

Once the police have the user details, there is then the issue of trying to work out who at the address actually made the comments which can often be very difficult or impossible

Separately, these screen shots tell us absolutely nothing at all and do not demonstrate any harassment.

With harassment - victims are also meant to do what they reasonably can to keep themselves safe. Therefore the police would generally take a pretty dim view of someone who was concerned about their personal safety continuing to broadcast intimate details of themselves and their family's lives; particularly when young children are involved

@heartsonacake

YABVU. Free speech is important.

If someone is hurt by words on a screen from a random stranger that is their problem and they need to work on their resilience.

If parents worked more on children’s confidence and resilience we wouldn’t have so many adults who are unable to handle the world.

I don't think repeatedly saying 'stop getting upset about things on the internet and grow a spine, you fucking pussy' is going to help. I assume that's what working on resilience means?

My parents couldn't have taught me confidence. You either are or you aren't, it's not something you can be taught to be.

Wow this has backfired on you spectacularly @Bekindnotabully

Admittedly, maybe the 'you fucking pussy' bit is a bit harsh. But does telling people repeatedly to grow a spine and stop being pathetic really work?

My parents couldn't have taught me confidence. You either are or you aren't, it's not something you can be taught to be.

PhilSwagielka Of course they could, and you can work on it yourself now.

Anyone can become confident, it’s perfectly possible with time and effort but most people don’t want to bother and hold on to the mindset that it’s unchangeable when that’s simply not true.

they can trace users with their ip address in a matter of minutes
This is not true. Internet companies such as BT have a “bank” of IP addresses. When you turn your router on they allocate it an available IP address. When you turn your router off, you lose that IP address and it’s made available to be allocated to someone else. If you turn your router back on you’ll be allocated a different IP address. They cannot locate you from your IP address. They can say roughly within 100 miles where you are but they can’t find your address. It is possible to have a fixed IP address that’s assigned to your specific house and always stays the same, but that’s a service you’d have to pay extra for.

@heartsonacake

My parents couldn't have taught me confidence. You either are or you aren't, it's not something you can be taught to be.

PhilSwagielka Of course they could, and you can work on it yourself now.

Anyone can become confident, it’s perfectly possible with time and effort but most people don’t want to bother and hold on to the mindset that it’s unchangeable when that’s simply not true.

Could you give me some pointers?

@FudgeBrownie2019

I can't deal with all the nonsense smoke-up-arse stuff that seems to come whenever Instamums are mentioned.

If you actively seek to open your home, your life, your world to the nation or the world via social media, of course arseholes are going to behave like arseholes towards you. Given that we already have laws against hate speech and harassment, what on earth is meant to happen above and beyond those laws to provide extra protection to people who've deliberately invited strangers to view their lives?

If you don't want the world picking apart your life, behave cautiously with social media and don't expose yourself in this way. It's not a career, it's not admirable and from the threads that happen on here, it's also not "mums begging up other mums" - it's showing-off, oneupmanship and unkindness dressed prettily in fairy lights.

Well said.

Don't put every single bit of your life online. Especially if you have kids!

Could you give me some pointers?

PhilSwagielka This is exactly my point. People aren’t willing to put in the research, time and effort to work on things like confidence and resilience. You just want someone else to fix it for you.

Oh, I do beg your pardon.

How about Mrs Hinch who gave her followers the full name of someone who said something "offensive" about her

Cue thousands and death threats to the poor woman, along with vile comments about her children.

Was there proof of ‘death threats against her children’? Only Susie Verrill claimed the same........

No proof though

From my knowledge some threads were deleted because susie threatened the person who started them. & for clarification those threads did not contain hate speach by legal definition. So susie got the outcome she wanted by having those threads deleted by threatening people so she cannot now claim through you that she has no recourse. And why is Susie seeking out these messages anyway why go out of your way to seek criticisms if you cant handle it? People have a responsibility to protect their own health including mental health. We all have to make sacrifices to protect ourselves and that is part and parcel of having personal responsibility.

@Sennetti

Was there proof of ‘death threats against her children’? Only Susie Verrill claimed the same........

No proof though

This is what annoys me about these influencers calling out ‘trolls’ not once have I seen one of them show proof of the horrid things they supposedly recieve.

They get one message that says ‘ur nose is big’ and they are quick to post the screenshot of that but the serious stuff never comes to light.