To be so fucking sick of living according to my neighbours routine ?!

[MrsA2015]

End of Terrace Victorian Victorian property converted into two flats, I’m on ground floor. Upstairs has 3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread.

What’s really getting to be at the moment is the constant praying/chanting/pastor sessions (online) at 11pm on the dot since Easter Sunday. Frigging sick and tired of listening to it and the 6:45am Sunday wake up and what I’m guessing is pre-church family LOUD prayer session, then 20min of shrieking kids In the shared hall way that’s backed into my bedroom.

It’s constant and relentless, droning monotone voices, deliverance from the depths of hell? They’ll need saving from the depths of my damn shredded nerves before that.

I’m so so tired.

Every Saturday night I’m kept awake by late night cooking and filled with dread as I count down the hours to following morning.

39+4 weeks pregnant and at my wits end.

Yes I’ve spoken to them.
Yes I’ve reported.
Yes I’ve BEGGED for some peace.
No can’t move out.
No have nowhere else to stay.

Yes I’m crying desperately as I’m petrified already of the sleep deprivation to come coupled with knowing I’ve got these inconsiderate arseholes upstairs.

I had a situation like this, I reported them to environment health, they carried on, only when I put a letter through their door saying I would be reporting them to the police for anti social behaviour next time they made noise at 3am did they take notice. A relative who could speak English appeared and apologised for them, begged us not to call the police, the noise stopped and they moved out two weeks later.

What do you mean no you can't move?! Why on earth not? I've moved with a baby as a single parent, why can't you and your husband?

SS there are all kinds of 'Christians'

Personally I am one too, but we pray silently.

There are fundamentalists 'Christians' who might do this. And I'm not saying I agree with it.

Got to get off now OP and do some stuff.

Keep us posted, keep posting and keep strong. It is not your fault and you don't need this rubbish.

Somanysocks I assume you haven't come across any African style Evangelical Churches then? They are very big on loud and long worship.

@MrsA2015 I know, childish, but start your own religion, alternatively pray in arabic on Friday, jiddish on Saturday and surprise them with something Sunday 2am. The louder the better. Then techno party Monday morning and a massive banner announcing costume themed swingers party every Wednesday hanging on your door.

You MUST move. It’s no use worrying about whether or not you should have to. Start looking at where you can move to. Start this evening.

It doesn’t sound Christian. We don’t generally chant, shout or warble. Prayer is often quiet. Music is the same volume as any other type of music. This sounds highly bizarre.

If it is a very unusual form of Christian worship, there shouldn’t be any issue locating it. Google your local area’s churches, and find out which one streams services at 11pm and advocates chanting.

There cannot be many Churches that stream a daily service either. Most are on Sunday, plus small group worship. My church streams kids stuff separately too, but only on a Sunday. My sister’s church have a weekly quiz and a beer on zoom - but they definitely don’t chant then either (even after a few drinks!)

However, I thought you’d said it was an issue since Easter? Now you say it’s been years? I’d thought initially you meant they were worshipping at home due to lockdown, but if it’s been years, potentially they have their own religion and worship, and there is no formal church to speak of.

I think forms of retaliation (especially scary acts or swearing music) would make their children also suffer, and none of this is really their fault, even if they are allowed to stay up late or play in the living room early.

This is a tough situation, I feel sorry for you. You have had the unfortunate luck of being paired with unsuitable (for you) neighbours. On the flip side, for some, having a pious family in their building could be something to be enjoyed, especially for those who are scared to live alone, or really like people and enjoy hearing a bit of life and hustle and bustle around them.

The important thing to remember is this is their ingrained lifestyle and belief system, and not something they are doing to deliberately and stubbornly annoy you or others. Having them make a complete religion and habits change would be like expecting you to suddenly overnight become a devout chanting worshipper.

I suspect their right to freedom of religious practice is why none of the authorities you have contacted have been able to enforce anything despite repeated attempts. I'm surprised they were even written to, frankly. You achieved a lot there already. Clearly you are suffering though, and I feel for you! Maybe a feeling of radical acceptance that this is the way things are for a time will have you struggle and suffer less emotionally? It may help put out any anger, resentment, slights, offense taken.

The only silver lining seems to be that it is temporary housing for both families, perhaps you or they will move for some reason or other eventually. As PPs have said, things can change surprisingly quickly.

Perhaps it's possible to address this with therapy, some sort of CBT in the meantime if things do not seem to be changing immediately. You certainly need some support with this if it is causing multiple levels of anxiety whilst you are pregnant. Along with your justified annoyance, you must consider the well-being of your baby.

I really like the idea of a mediator PPs have mentioned.

It sounds to me, rightly or wrongly, that only you can change this situation for the better. They are oblivious, unlikely to change, maybe it’s time to review why you can’t move

Whatever religion or denomination they are presumably they do care about others and I think they need to know what a terrible witness this is to their church or group!

(Yes, I am an Anglican and we don't make a lot of noise! But some Christian groups do.)

I think Elsiebear has the right idea.

"I had a situation like this, I reported them to environment health, they carried on, only when I put a letter through their door saying I would be reporting them to the police for anti social behaviour next time they made noise at 3am did they take notice. A relative who could speak English appeared and apologised for them, begged us not to call the police, the noise stopped and they moved out two weeks later."

I would tell them you will report but also try and 'build a bridge' and explain that you think 'good neighbour-ly-ness' is so important for people of any religion.

Surely the children are back at school now?
And a lot of churches are open?
Is this situation temporary? On one hand you say it's been like this since Easter, on another post you say you've had years of issues?
Anyway, with a newborn due soon, the shoe will be on the other foot

What do your next door neighbours think of it? Are they disturbed by it too or are the walls thick? Could you do a joint complaint? I'd escalate the complaints higher up as others have said

Any religion that requires people to make a bloody racket at that time of night is ridiculous and provocative.

Definitely loud music at 5pm and make sure their kids can't nap! That way they may sleep earlier

Difficult one, I would normally advocate soundproofing the walls with soundproof plasterboard but if it’s above you would need to do all the ceilings, not so straight forward and if it’s not your flat why should you spend. There is a really useful video on YouTube of a guy who had noisy neighbours and he setup a speaker against the wall with a noise sensor, when the noise from next door reached a certain level the speaker would start playing noise back, The neighbour would lower the volume to try and hear the noise but the sensor then switched off when the noise dropped, the neighbour eventually got the message

Just to bear in mind, there are as many 'christians ' as there are horses. Just because someone professes to be of a particular faith, any faith or none doesn't mean they are legal, honest or decent.

And if you really want to 'relatiate' please bear in mind this cuts off recourse to ASB legislation and legal tools as the police for example will just see it as something you intentionally went out of your way to escalate and contribute to.

No, that's not fair, but that is how it will be viewed.

Totally understand that you shouldn't have to move and uproot yourselves because of inconsiderate neighbours. However you may have to decide can I go on loving like this? I would be going absolutely bonkers with the noise, I would seriously consider moving especially if you're not getting any luck with the council

@stoppingstones

Surely the children are back at school now? And a lot of churches are open? Is this situation temporary? On one hand you say it's been like this since Easter, on another post you say you've had years of issues? Anyway, with a newborn due soon, the shoe will be on the other foot

My DC isn't back until next week

I think you should introduce a new routine for your family.

Start a 5pm walk for you and the DC. And a 5pm playlist for your flat.

Suitable melodies can be found in the discographies of

Anal Cunt
Pig Destroyer
Anal Blasphemy
Behemoth
Jesus Anal Penetration
Mayhem
Meshuggah
Napalm Death
Rotting Christ

and others.

If you're concerned about this being interpreted as religious discrimination, I can suggest that you look into Verdi's, Mozart's and Berlioz's Reqiuem Masses, Orff's Also Sprach Zarathustra, Handel's Coronation Anthems, Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (on organ, naturally - there are recordings of everything Bach did on organ - only a couple of hundred of the things, so Bach's Werke Verzeichnis is your friend here), Saint Saen's Danse Macabre.

I had 6am Christmas Songs from August 4th courtesy of the neighbours in my old flat. Tried the friendly 'WTF is that? It's so loud, it's waking everybody up in the block' chat, but the girl giggled and said 'Oh, I loooooove Christmas so much!' (neither of them were particularly bright and she didn't seem to understand that Jingle Fucking Bells at that volume was acceptable). The evenings were usually OK because they all seemed to go to bed around 6pm.

One day in October, I came back just before 10pm (long day at work) to find that the cat had trodden on the remote control and switched my music on very, very loudly at some point in the day - entirely accidental, but as I walked in, it was a good few hours into Wagner's Ring Cycle. I NEVER heard the Christmas songs CD ever again.

Of course, if you are feeling particularly vengeful, set it all up on YouTube. I defy anybody to not give up after the 100th Grammarly advert.

How loud is the 11pm stuff? That’s the stuff that really needs to stop. But are they doing it really loud are are your wall/ceiling just really bad?

If the former and they are being really loud, then I’d be sending off an email to the appropriate authority every single day until they do their job.

Shrieking children at 6:45am is really bad luck, but unfortunately that’s just life with kids, fairly lenient parents, and bad walls.

Just move. You’ve put so much effort and money into this situation, don’t suffer anymore. Move

In my experience these sorts of religious people only listen to whatever god they're praying to and religious leaders, and even then, the church leader may be behind them. I'd write to whatever organisation they belong to and explain that you may need to publicise their nuisance noise. That would possibly shut them up.

They sound like somesort of fundamentalist pentecostals to me, but I'm no expert. Also, if they are Christians, we all know that they pick and choose their own interpretations of the bible, so quoting scripture won't help either, because they will think they know better.

Playing metal or rock n roll will just make them pray harder to try to save you. I do love the idea of the goat though!

Personally, I'd move. They sound bonkers.