To be so fucking sick of living according to my neighbours routine ?!

[MrsA2015]

End of Terrace Victorian Victorian property converted into two flats, I’m on ground floor. Upstairs has 3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread.

What’s really getting to be at the moment is the constant praying/chanting/pastor sessions (online) at 11pm on the dot since Easter Sunday. Frigging sick and tired of listening to it and the 6:45am Sunday wake up and what I’m guessing is pre-church family LOUD prayer session, then 20min of shrieking kids In the shared hall way that’s backed into my bedroom.

It’s constant and relentless, droning monotone voices, deliverance from the depths of hell? They’ll need saving from the depths of my damn shredded nerves before that.

I’m so so tired.

Every Saturday night I’m kept awake by late night cooking and filled with dread as I count down the hours to following morning.

39+4 weeks pregnant and at my wits end.

Yes I’ve spoken to them.
Yes I’ve reported.
Yes I’ve BEGGED for some peace.
No can’t move out.
No have nowhere else to stay.

Yes I’m crying desperately as I’m petrified already of the sleep deprivation to come coupled with knowing I’ve got these inconsiderate arseholes upstairs.

Sorry to hear this OP, noise and sleep deprivation is awful.

But they won't change. That's their routine, they don't care. It's ridiculously difficult to evict people over noise.

So you need to make a decision.

A. Live with it - consider white noise, ear plugs, sound proofing the walls and ceilings and even consider napping at 5pm yourself.

B. Revenge - make lots of noise at 5pm, make sure the baby cries in their direction, complain constantly, etc.

C. (My suggestion) Accept that they will never change and you cannot live like this and you need to move. No you shouldn't have to and it's unfair but that's the way it is. There's always ways around moving. Focus your energy on that instead.

Also, if they are Christians, we all know that they pick and choose their own interpretations of the bible

Possibly, or if they’re muslims, their own interpretation of the koran, the bits that suit. What religion is it Op? not that it really matters, just curious about a religion that feels the need to be so noisy and thoughtless.

The problem with 'just move' is there is no guarantee that the next place won't be just as bad.
A friend of mine moved due to selfish noisy neighbours however she was lied too and the 'quiet' place she moved to was worse. She essentially ended up having a breakdown. Instead of telling people to move all the time wouldn't it be better to try and get people to be less selfish.

You might find a relief from this Monday once the kids are back at school? I know some schools have already started but just in case theirs haven’t just like ours.
I stopped DD’s choir and ensemble violin as during the lockdown it would be via Zoom from 9 Till 11am on Saturday morning. Kept the half an hour individual violin class but moved till later. We’re in a flat and I didn’t want stress if knowing we’re fucking people off early morning Saturdays.

Once my neighbours decided to play such loud music that I had a rave in my bedroom. My floor was vibrating They’ve always played loud music but that was way louder than ever before. I lasted 4 hours then at 9pm I connect my phone to a bluetooth speaker, put it on the bare floor and started playing bashment on the loudest setting. After 3 song I turned it off and magically they turned their racket down.

Trouble with moving (apart from the upheaval and expense) is you don't know who your NDN will be in future .

I've had NDN with noisy dogs , noisy teens . This is part of day-to-day life and if it goes way over board then Yes , I'll knock on the door .

Nposy DC ( childminders) but thankfully its only when the Mindees are there

One set of NDN who were SO quiet originally .We went round with a parcel that we took in every day for over a week . They were in but never answered . Thought they must be on Witness Protection or something , the buggers HID .

They have the loud parties , the kids playing noisily . Its a pain.

The noise is one thing , it's the fecking BBQs when we've all got washing out

Find out where they worship and call/visit/write to them.

Ask them which religious establishment they attend and then complain there with a log of it all.

Your baby is so going to provide them with karma.

Scroll through a bit.

Will environmental health not take it up?

@CheshireCats

But WHY can't you move?? It's all very well saying Why should I?" and I do understand where you are coming from with this, but it has apparently been affecting your mental and physical (sleep) health for a long time. You have tried to resolve it through numerous ways. They haven't worked- you have even damaged your own ceiling banging on it!! So, either move or accept this is how things are. I say this as someone who was once in a very similar situation with neighbours, and who also reported, kept noise logs etc. Eventually, I realised the only way to stop it was to move. It was the best decision I made. Move, and it won't be your problem any more. What else can anyone on here say? You have done all the talking to them/ reporting/logging... so either accept the situation (which it seems you can't, and neither could I) or move.

I have to say, I'm mystified as to what is actually stopping the OP from moving, especially based on

I’ve had years of drs letters, letters to MP/ombudsman

If it's been going on for years, and no previous action has resolved the problem, then sorry but it's time to move.

also why the hell shout I uproot my life because of them

Sure. Staying put because “why should I move” seems like a brilliant solution.

The OP says she has 'various reasons' why she can’t move. Perhaps people could take her at her word and assume she knows why, rather than slating her for it?
Not to mention, I know her situation here is stressful, but so is moving.

I do think you might be being a bit unreasonable. You say they keep you up cooking? And they get up early? Its not exactly wild party’s. It’s not their fault that the houses are not sound proofed. What do you think they should do? Not cook in their own home? Lie in bed even though they are awake every day for hours to suit your schedule?
If it’s really upsetting you as much as you say just move. Don’t be a martyr.

3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread

What's the issues with the 3 childrens' noise ?.

@IntermittentParps

The OP says she has 'various reasons' why she can’t move. Perhaps people could take her at her word and assume she knows why, rather than slating her for it? Not to mention, I know her situation here is stressful, but so is moving.

The point is, though, if all reasonable steps have been taken and the problem still exists, then what is the alternative...

Excessive noise from NDN to the extent being described is massively disruptive and destructive to MH and peace of mind, so it isn't that unreasonable to question the decision to stay put.

As the saying goes Madness lies in continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result ....

@bookmum08 yes I have but this doesn't sound like African style worship does it, they do not chant, and my experience of African Christians is that they are extremely respectful people.

@StormyInTheNorth thanks for the stereotyping, you are wrong of course.

Noise-cancelling headphones. We have neighbours where the wife has a voice like a foghorn with no off switch. Their son went through a phase of practicing drums whenever he was upset. Which was most of the time. And he was crap too. They have a lot of external tiles that seem to need 'Kerchering' very frequently.

Neighbours are terrible. But headphones help.

OP are you phoning environmental health? You said the council told you that you needed to go to the landlord as strictly speaking it is private rental. That is the response from a tenancy officer, or at least that what t sounds like to me after many years and f working for a local authority.
Make sure you are phoning EH and specifically asking for recording equipment as it is a noise complaint. Phone every day until magically a set of equipment comes free and they bring it round to you. It's sad to say but nuisance repetitive callers do always end up getting dealt with before their place in the queue so be consistent and keep phoning and emailing.
Speak to Shelter and Citizens Advice and tell them that the council haven't taken you seriously and brought recording equipment round. They can also phone and staff often hop to it when a fellow professional is phoning. Also, if your MP is the type that gives a shiny sh*t about their constituents then ask them to write to the council. Those letters are almost always escalated to the team managers.

Lean out the window with a gun and say I hope you've made your peace with your God because you're off to see him if you don't shut the fuck up.

Or alternatively you could file a noise complaint...

My dad used an old fashioned metal bin lid and a hammer to punish noisy neighbours. Having mastered their routine (by having it inflicted on him) he waited until they went to bed and then hammered in the room next to theirs. When they banged on the wall he gave them just long enough to resettle before repeating. When they came round he just said "yeah it's crap when the neighbours disturb you isn't it?" Within a couple of sessions they realised that he'd retaliate every time they pissed him off and the noise was greatly reduced.

no advise that hasn't been suggested already ok I couldn't just read and run because it sounds horrible,really nasty.things will one day change,time doesn't stand still and eventually one of you will move.so wish I had an answer for you.soon your baby will be here and I hope all goes well with that.🌺🌷

I’ve been out all day as it was a more peaceful option and was hoping to come home to some quiet.

Turned up and they’re having a joint mum/daughter 50th/7th bday party.