To be so fucking sick of living according to my neighbours routine ?!

[MrsA2015]

End of Terrace Victorian Victorian property converted into two flats, I’m on ground floor. Upstairs has 3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread.

What’s really getting to be at the moment is the constant praying/chanting/pastor sessions (online) at 11pm on the dot since Easter Sunday. Frigging sick and tired of listening to it and the 6:45am Sunday wake up and what I’m guessing is pre-church family LOUD prayer session, then 20min of shrieking kids In the shared hall way that’s backed into my bedroom.

It’s constant and relentless, droning monotone voices, deliverance from the depths of hell? They’ll need saving from the depths of my damn shredded nerves before that.

I’m so so tired.

Every Saturday night I’m kept awake by late night cooking and filled with dread as I count down the hours to following morning.

39+4 weeks pregnant and at my wits end.

Yes I’ve spoken to them.
Yes I’ve reported.
Yes I’ve BEGGED for some peace.
No can’t move out.
No have nowhere else to stay.

Yes I’m crying desperately as I’m petrified already of the sleep deprivation to come coupled with knowing I’ve got these inconsiderate arseholes upstairs.

The neighbours don't sound like Christians to me, starting things at 11pm and chanting is not something we do. More likely Buddhist or Hindu.

@Lifeisgenerallyfun

Tell them you’re a satanist. Dress some friends in hooded cloaks and get them to come into your flat just as they’re going to church (preferably leading a goat)

Place inverted crosses in conspicuous windows, invite them over for a Ouija board Party. Play death metal at loud volumes. “Bump” into them speak random languages whilst rolling your eyes in your head. Dress a friend as a priest and get him to run screaming from your property in the dead of night.

Hopefully they might move.

Omg I needed that laugh, thank you! You should put your talent to good use!

Have you exhausted your councils complaints procedure?

• Whether or not you are religious you might consider asking them for prayer support for the birth of your baby, your own wellbeing and the future.

The situation will absolutely and definitely change when your baby is born. You will hopefully follow midwife's advice and in the early days sleep when the baby sleeps.*

I don't know how OP asking them for prayer support is useful in any way at all? She might as well ask people to do a dance in the woods at midnight too as it would be just as bloody useless and pointless. Unless asking them to include her in their prayers to make the chanting about her would be better than chanting to some fictional entity? Or would they include her at the end and make the blathering go on longer to make her go a little bit more insane?

Also, you may find OP's 4 year old child would not be okay with OP heading down for a nap when the baby sleeps.

Elderly lady living below me she is in her living room most of the day (she told me, i go down for cups of tea to visit) which is directly below mine and my son knows no banging or loud TV in there (hers is loud tbh but shes in her 80s and so sweet). Keep reporting. Over and over and over. I reported my neighbours once (next door and loud music until 2am) they got 1 letter from the council and have been quiet since I'm so amazed.

@Nanny0gg

No, you shouldn't have to move but if there is no alternative, why wouldn't you?

Lack of funds to do so? Stuck in a lease for a set time? No alternative place to go to? Nothing else available she can afford or is near enough to her DHs work or other child's nursery or school?

Moving is not that simple.

Chester, it is a STRATEGIC approach.

Along the lines of killing them with kindness that another poster mentioned.

When ASB happens it gets exaggerated the more people become distanced from each other. It is sometimes possible that when others realise that you TOO are a human being with your concerns and your family that they change their behaviour.

To do with how stereotypes happen. Psychology.

And once again, before anyone comments, I'm not saying OP should do this, but it is a possible avenue. Up to OP in the end. And I do know how much pain ASB can cause I've experienced a lot of it and come out the other side.

Are they tenants? is so, you might want to find out who the landlord is and pressure them to get rid of their noisy tenants rather than liaise with them directly. The freeholder/landlord is really the one responsible here.

But longer term I would make plans to move out. Why do you say that can't be done? If you are renting complain to your landlord. It is not in their advantage to have tenants move out all the time due to noisy neighbours...

@greengreengrass14 the situation you had sounds awful and quite dangerous due to the nature I guess the difference is the issues you had was the criminal offences side so the Police has the power to act and once inside your home it was quieter. I’m saying that whilst also thinking your situation must have been quite frightening at times.

The OPs situation is different, they sound more of a pain in the ass rather than dangerous so less powerful support to deal with it i.e the Police.

You do sound very kind and patient much more than I’d be that’s for sure!

Why do people say "just move"? Like that's soooo easy. If I was too move from my flat (I too have a noisy inconsiderate neighbour) I would need to do the following -
Have money for a deposit on new flat, 1st months rent and estate agents fees (round my way that would be about £2500)
Money for removal van
Need to find a flat that is still in distance of my daughter's school
Or find new school and deal with in - term transfer
Needs to be on a public transport route relevant to my husband getting to work
If possible in the same borough due to child's medical/mental health needs which are done via the borough
Or start again from scratch with her cahms stuff because we have moved to a different Health trust
Plus the general hassle of packing up our lives and starting again
All because some people can't shut the fuck up.
Yeah. Just move. Soooo simple.
OP it's a shame you can't find out which church they belong to. Because as others have said talking to the Pastor/Elder/Leader might be the way to go. Maybe contact your local C of E Vicar. They might be able to help Christian to Christian.
Good Luck.

I used to live in Lewisham and the council seemed to just not have capacity to deal with stuff. But I did have noise issues temporarily with a neighbour and they did start to address it. I can't imagine the stress this is causing you. The only thing I can think of to suggest is if there's ank kind of community advocacy or support organisations who could take this up with you? Or as you are pregnant could you try to get help via health visitor? What do the actual family say when you talk to them. Do they know you are this distressed? As if they do it sounds positively sociopolathic to continue the way they are!

I wasn't aware of whether 4 year of OP would be off to pre school if they are open. Kind of assumed they might be.

'Sleep when baby sleeps' no obviously isn't always possible of course, I've been there. But I'm sure most on here understand the principle of it.

I have only once had a few weeks of trouble relating to NDN noise, it was awful so I can imagine how it can really grind you down over a long period of time. Speaking to the couple did nothing. The landlord of both our apartments was the same, but did nothing. They used to row unbelievably, so badly security (of the flats) or police would be called. I can only thank Linkin Park, especially Papercut for helping me out. After one particularly badly Saturday night, I got up at 5am, put the speakers against their wall and left the CD on report at almost full volume. And went out and checked into a hotel until Monday morning. I rarely heard them after that.

Do you know what church they attend? Hit them where it hurts. Go and speak to their pastor/priest/exorcist/whatever and let them know what kind of an impact it’s having on your lives and let them know that if they really were genuinely caring Christians then perhaps they would be more empathetic about the effects they were having on their neighbours. “Blessed are the meek”, etc

Have you got a local paper? Tell them this story and see if it gets the council moving? Would also shame the neighbours and their church and might help in someway?

@MrsA2015

I sympathise.
Many old flats/Victorian terraces are not fit for purpose re sound insulation..Noise pollution is a form of torture.

Will the Landlord listen? Even Owner occupiers are tortured by noise from neighbours...Yapping dogs has to be one of the worst..And slamming doors.
A friend moved out of the City to a detached Rural bungalow {all he could afford}...and it is heaven.

You could ask the council to provide a mediator. I think some councils have mediators specifically trained to help with neighbour disputes. Also Citizens Advice might help.

@BlueJava

I have only once had a few weeks of trouble relating to NDN noise, it was awful so I can imagine how it can really grind you down over a long period of time. Speaking to the couple did nothing. The landlord of both our apartments was the same, but did nothing. They used to row unbelievably, so badly security (of the flats) or police would be called. I can only thank Linkin Park, especially Papercut for helping me out. After one particularly badly Saturday night, I got up at 5am, put the speakers against their wall and left the CD on report at almost full volume. And went out and checked into a hotel until Monday morning. I rarely heard them after that.

A neighbour where we lived had lots of DC ..One of them was given a very shrill whistle, that she was told to ''blow outside, darling''.. It went on for days... In the end DS {revising} put on this....It echoed across the gardens... and worked.

@MrsA2015 Why haven't Environmental Health not installed recording equipment? Reporting to the Council housing Office won't do a damn thing. Reporting to the Council's Environmental Health department WILL!

An old busy-body neighbour reported me to EH when my baby was born! She has Colic for a few weeks and apparently crying during the night was unacceptable! When EH told her how ridiculous she was being, she started lying saying we had a dog barking all night (didn't even have a dog!?!) so they installed recording equipment! Two weeks later I got a letter saying that no action would be taken as the only noise detected was my baby crying which is not considered noise nuisance suitable of acting upon!
Every town/city has an Environmental Health department within the Council so I don't understand why they haven't done this.

Even my Mum got a letter from them once (saying as above - informing her of the complaint but they're not taking action) after someone complained about her coughing!! So they do respond to every complaint

FAQs

Yes, get your points. I had been the absolutely furtherst from 'kind and patient' in amongst all that, actually. I like to think of myself nowadays as more of a 'Clint Eastwood' calm i.e. 'make my day' kind of calm...

I know it's a stereotype. As I said, I grew balls.

Actually my situation was and education on laws on ASB and what constituted an actual 'crime' and there were blurry lines in there and all sorts of complications as in fact even the organisations themselves sometimes didn't know what ASB was, or didn't have the resources to deal with it.

But that doesn't help the OP very much.

Not sure where she is , but someone mentioned the ASB app. there is something called the Noise App which is available from the App store.

OP of course has got her hands full. I am not good at tech, but something like this might help.

Also, under 101 you can get an incident number for ASB and request a visit from the Police Community Support Officers, who, if they ask you what you would like to happen they often offer to 'go and have a word' with those in question.

OP may or may not want to do this, and may or may not want 'unifroms' in their house. But it is likewise worth a try. There are people who respond very well to 'uniforms' knocking on their door to 'have a word'. PCSOs should then come back to you and tell you what action they have taken.

Once again up to OP. OP has said already that they have letters from GP etc and telling the PCSos how distressed you are about noise is one avenue.

Not saying this will work but it did with the one thing I experienced.

Don't phone 101 at peak times i.e saturday night. And be prepared that even the call handlers may not know what the law is. Some actually are not trained in it.

Noise cancelling headphones?

@oakleaffy 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love your DS's sense of humour!

I’m with others who say play them at their own game. As soon as their praying or whatever it is they’re doing starts, crank up the volume and play Prodigy, especially if you can tell if they are doing online sermons. I’d also place some kind of pentagram on the front door and burn a lot of sage or incense in the shared hallway, if they are superstitious which I’m guessing they may be then it could spook them. I Hate religious nut jobs at the best of times that’s without them causing misery through noise pollution.

Do you have access to the mains electric boxes? I had a noisy neighbour years ago when I was living the flat life in my 20s and one night I just snapped and switched off their mains switch. Took them well over 24 hours to figure it out which baffled me 😂

And watch the definition of a 'crime'

Noise itself coppers probably say this is not their rap and report to environmental health, which goes round in circles as environmental health not done anything about it.

But if you say you are concerned about noise i.e it affecting all and disturbance of peace something different.

Still difficult as police forces vary and some are better than others.

But most would rather negotiate first and try to deescalate a situation. And I know that is a general statement and I am criticial of the police, but there are certain things they are supposed to do.

And rights that we have, obviously. Like living in peace in our own houses.