To be so fucking sick of living according to my neighbours routine ?!

[MrsA2015]

End of Terrace Victorian Victorian property converted into two flats, I’m on ground floor. Upstairs has 3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread.

What’s really getting to be at the moment is the constant praying/chanting/pastor sessions (online) at 11pm on the dot since Easter Sunday. Frigging sick and tired of listening to it and the 6:45am Sunday wake up and what I’m guessing is pre-church family LOUD prayer session, then 20min of shrieking kids In the shared hall way that’s backed into my bedroom.

It’s constant and relentless, droning monotone voices, deliverance from the depths of hell? They’ll need saving from the depths of my damn shredded nerves before that.

I’m so so tired.

Every Saturday night I’m kept awake by late night cooking and filled with dread as I count down the hours to following morning.

39+4 weeks pregnant and at my wits end.

Yes I’ve spoken to them.
Yes I’ve reported.
Yes I’ve BEGGED for some peace.
No can’t move out.
No have nowhere else to stay.

Yes I’m crying desperately as I’m petrified already of the sleep deprivation to come coupled with knowing I’ve got these inconsiderate arseholes upstairs.

What about playing a different tune extremely loudly every time they are inconsiderate. Tunes could include things which have inappropriate references for religious people

“I’m too sexy”

Could you find out what church they go to and contact the priest/vicar/leader and ask for help. Try to be tactful and respectful but say it is having such a huge negative impact on your life. Worth a try. Religions generally have some guidance about kindness and respect for neighbours. Maybe the congregation could club together to buy soundproofing (only half joking). Other than that, maybe local councillors (not the department that deals with noise, but the elected local councillors), or your MP? Does it affect the neighbours on the joined side of the house?

5pm nap you say?
Record their noise and play it full blast at 5:20pm.
Every
Single
Day

FAQs

Yes, I have FAQs honestly, it went on for years. And it got to the point where I was too afraid to go out. At all.

I got theatened when I stepped outside my door (more than once).

It was drugs, and drug trafficking.

It was absolutely terrifying, no joke.

And it went on for years.

I did the ASB thing, many times. Did the Housing Association thing.

Grew some balls with the worst offenders.

The thing was we were happy in our actual flat and inside the flat due to the build it was quiet. Just very narrow hallway. At times it was hell. Affected my mental health, etc

I stuck it out though.

Eventually the police caught up with them.

That's where my advice about not hammering on their door comes from. And I mean it when I say 'at least it is not drugs'.

The people the OP is talking about have kids. And that changes things. Especially since the OP is expecting.

Believe me, I 've been there.

Interestingly enough at lockdown the whole scenario of the block changed. Actually people became more respectful and caring.

I'm not saying it is everyone's scenario to stick it out. I get that it isn't.

I did because the rent was reasonable, three out of six neighbours were okay. It was near the school and colleges so it would really have disrupted our lives if we moved.

I don't believe anybody should be forced to.

For a listening ear, Victim support have a phone line.

It is tough, but you may be surprised how such a situation changes overnight.

Good luck, OP look after yourself, stay strong.

Yes find out which church then go meet with the pastor and explain what a negative effect it’s having on you and could they speak to them. This would be effective I think considering how religious they are.

Ask the neighbours directly which church or email all the churches asking if x attends as you both need support

Would second popping in to church of your choice and asking for support. Heaven knows you deserve it.

Even you know Jehovas Witnesses popping in might signal to upstairs that you also understand relgious matters.

People slag them off. I don't. At times as single parent they were the only blessed people who cared about me during tough times. I don't agree with them on everything but at least they turned up.

@MrsA2015 buy a Wi-fi jammer to stop her running her online 11pm sessions. My former university 20 years ago had them in certain areas in the library where people wanted peace and quiet to study. Worked like a treat. Assuming they are legal, I’d get one 😆

Sorry to hear you’re going through this, I have selfish noisy neighbours too so I sympathise. (Also in Se London and my road is full of arseholes)
Can you kill them with kindness? As you’re heavily pregnant perhaps send them a small gift and a card saying along the lines of ‘apologies in advance for any noise when the baby is born I would also be grateful if you could keep your noise to a minimum so I can rest post birth’ something religious might appeal to them alongside it like a ‘love thy neighbour’ prayer.
The fact you have reported and they haven’t apologised or acted on it shows me you will have a harder time than any plan to correct it will achieve sadly. I know you say it’s not possible to move but I’d seriously consider it in this situation, stress isn’t good for you or baby. Don’t see it as uprooting your life for them, see it as a fresh start. I plan to move next year, it’s damaging my health and we shouldn’t have to put up with this.

Would definitely be interrupting nap time that’s for sure

[quote Rhianna1980]@MrsA2015 buy a Wi-fi jammer to stop her running her online 11pm sessions. My former university 20 years ago had them in certain areas in the library where people wanted peace and quiet to study. Worked like a treat. Assuming they are legal, I’d get one 😆[/quote]
This is a brilliant idea 👍🏼

You have to play them at their own game as that is the only thing that will show them how the noise is. When the children are having their nap time you have to put speakers next to the ceiling/walls and play songs from musicals, rap music with lots of swearing, thrash metal etc.

Your situation sounds awful, and I totally sympathise - sleep deprivation is one of the worst things ever.

What I would say from my own experience is that sleep deprivation puts the body into such a state of stress that things that might normally seem doable seem impossible. I wonder whether this might be the case with regard to moving.

I really hope this doesn’t come across as patronising, because I genuinely don’t mean it that way, but would it perhaps be worth explaining here, or discussing with someone in real life, the reasons why you feel you can’t move, to get an outside perspective on whether moving really is impossible or whether there might be a way to achieve it?

There are some good suggestions on this thread, and I hope one or more of them will work, but if they don’t, perhaps it’s worth re-visiting the idea of moving. Either way, good luck!!! 💐

I sympathise, but I think your "why should we have to move?" attitude is frankly bizarre. You should move because you are being driven insane. Is that not a good enough reason? We moved 3 years ago due to our awful neighbours and love where we live now. Life is too short to stand on principle in a contest you cannot win.

It’s time for you to retaliate OP. As PP’s have said, When their kids go down for naps and through the night, loud music, drilling, diy, then just tell them you can’t live your life around theirs!

I don’t understand what has happened to our society. When I was a child, this would never have been tolerated. The council would have sorted them out pronto, no ifs or buts. I saw it first hand with the occasional noise from our neighbours. Now it seems anything goes and people are just left to suffer.

IKNOT

Yes, 'killing them with kindness' is kind of where i was going with my 'strategic' approach too.

Also, you might say 'I understand that family life is a challenge in today's (sinful) world, so I have decided to pray for you and for our house' you might wish to do that anyway in whatever way you wish.

You could even ask what time of day they would appreciate prayers and say 'I have noticed your time is xxx' I don't wish to keep people from their sleep so I would suggest i pray at xxx instead....

Also might choose to say you are aware that people pray in different ways. Some silently. Some with chanting...

It is worth a try.

Alternatively if you are concerned about the kids, notice what school uniform they wear, and then phone the head and say you are concerned that they are up to 11 pm etc each night.

But would try the softly softly approach first, you might be surprised.

Have you asked the house /flts on your other side if they are disturbed by it ? They might be reporting or plotting too ?

I would go up there when their DC nap on a pretence , ring the doorbell until they answer -

"Oh I can smell gas , can you check " (shows you're looking out for them)

"Oh , there's a water leak outside , can you check your overflow"

"This letter was put through my door by mistke"

All at their nap time , make it difficult for them to run their lives .

And as for the music - something like TellyTubbies or Anne Marie "Feels Like I;m In Love" on a continual loop .
Get the speaker as near the ceiling as you can.
No heavy metal offensive stuff , you have other neighbours too .

I punish my NDN shite music all nighters by a vacuum cleaner at the skirting board at 7am.
The noise travels and Hey ! , I can vacuum , right ?

To all the people saying ‘find out who their church/pastor is and speak to them’ there is literally no way to do this! How are they meant to go about this? Unless the family directly tell them of course. If they’re doing online services (as we all are at the moment) the service could be anywhere. The church I’m ‘going to’ at the moment is based several towns across and isn’t even based in a church building at the best of times.

But 11pm services is utterly bizarre, I can’t think any church would do this, all I can think is maybe they’re watching a service is another country that’s a different time zone?

MNX4

Yes, it is difficult for someone to understand who is not in that situation.

When you call a place home, and it is your home, something like this can be expereinced at bullying. And I do believe that sometimes it is, and in our case it was.

It may be too expensive to move, or you may simply feel that the disruption of moving would be worse than staying.

It is difficult to understand if you haven't experienced it, but I for one am glad that I stuck it out.

@tiredanddangerous

Children's nap time at 5pm you say? Sounds like the ideal time for some very loud music and a bit of diy. You must surely have some urgent drilling and hammering to do. Not to mention hoovering up the mess afterwards.

This. I would make noise while they’re quite. Selfish pricks.

And I'm not saying that is what the OP 'should' do. But it is one way of doing things.

In the end OP will have to decide what is best for her and her family.

all we can do is offer suggestions and support her deciisons.

And finding out about the church? Ask them. Most people who are religious and perhaps overly so are keen to explain and talk about it.

It's one way forward.

Like the vaccum idea.

No, you shouldn't have to move but if there is no alternative, why wouldn't you?

@MrsA2015

I’ve had years of drs letters, letters to MP/ombudsman. Therapy sessions, anything to do with contacting council. Bar shelling out for a solicitor to do something (don’t know what but DH has been looking into things”. I’ve emailed and sent letters to all ports of call suggested already.

My ceiling looks like a dart board for all the jabbing with an umbrella I’ve been doing , so now I’ll be confined to bed with a newborn looking at a horrible ceiling too. least of my worries eh

This sounds like hell. I don’t understand that if you’ve had years of this you’ve also had years to move out, surely your health trumps any of the other various reasons that prevent you from moving?