To be so fucking sick of living according to my neighbours routine ?!

[MrsA2015]

End of Terrace Victorian Victorian property converted into two flats, I’m on ground floor. Upstairs has 3 children 1-11 the noise from that is a whole other thread.

What’s really getting to be at the moment is the constant praying/chanting/pastor sessions (online) at 11pm on the dot since Easter Sunday. Frigging sick and tired of listening to it and the 6:45am Sunday wake up and what I’m guessing is pre-church family LOUD prayer session, then 20min of shrieking kids In the shared hall way that’s backed into my bedroom.

It’s constant and relentless, droning monotone voices, deliverance from the depths of hell? They’ll need saving from the depths of my damn shredded nerves before that.

I’m so so tired.

Every Saturday night I’m kept awake by late night cooking and filled with dread as I count down the hours to following morning.

39+4 weeks pregnant and at my wits end.

Yes I’ve spoken to them.
Yes I’ve reported.
Yes I’ve BEGGED for some peace.
No can’t move out.
No have nowhere else to stay.

Yes I’m crying desperately as I’m petrified already of the sleep deprivation to come coupled with knowing I’ve got these inconsiderate arseholes upstairs.

Death metal is an excellent choice for late night listening, I would choose ones which are keen on Satan! In all seriousness 11pm isn't that late, and surely the kids are back at school now so can't stay up as late anyway. Sunday church I don't think you can complain about either, I take mine at 9 but some are earlier.

I'm guessing they aren't c of e though, we aren't into late night chanting.

@SoloMummy - in the UK, schools have been pretty much closer since March due to Corona virus so no, the children may not have been in school.
Also, you clearly do not understand the detrimental effect that never getting any peace or decent sleep in your own home can have. It can lead to all sorts of other issues.

Failing appealing to their better 'Christian' natures, can you contact their pastor for advice?

Loud music at their 5pm nap time?

Have you looked into soundproofing your bedroom?

Would perhaps go with contacting the pastor.
Would go about it strategically.

It is quite possible that they have been wrapped up in thinking of themselves during lockdown.

Whether or not you are religious you might consider asking them for prayer support for the birth of your baby, your own wellbeing and the future.

The situation will absolutely and definitely change when your baby is born. You will hopefully follow midwife's advice and in the early days sleep when the baby sleeps. It will be waking up for a feed at unpredictable hours and they will have to fit in with that then.

The phrase 'Love they neighbour as thyself' as TWO parts to it.
The second part is self-compassion and looking out for your own wellbeing.

Good luck

OP I get you, I find neighbour noise very hard to deal with. Sound really travels in those converted houses.

You say you can't move but you haven't said why. It looks to me like you have to move. You say you're in temp housing. Are you bidding? Does your council have a scheme to help people into private rent? Have you got savings for a deposit so you can private rent?

Even if the people above you move, someone else will move in even normal living noise will transmit.

What selfish people - it must be like Chinese water-torchure and I'm not surprised you're at your wits end.

You're not getting anywhere, you've been polite and they clearly don't give one shit about you and your family.

Get a serious boom box, put on some heavy metal, turn up the base to maximum and go out for the day.

Warn/prepare your other neighbours and tell them why you have had to resort to doing it.

I've lived in similar circumstances and the above worked instantaneously - people hate a taste of their own medicine and by doing this you are showing that you've come to the end of your tether, you mean business and have that power over them as well.

I agree with the noise treatment. I would also look into soundproofing; even if it's just the ceiling or just one room, that will be bliss! You can secure permission for such alterations.

I absolutely would start playing them at their own game. I think it's the only avenue you have left

I agree with all the people who’ve said you need to retaliate. Really offensive music, gabba, thrash metal every time you hear them. 5pm sounds like a perfect time for it too.

This reminds me of the recent thread about Seventh Day Adventists, they sounded like awful people awful too.

Plus you know, it could be worse...they could be cocaine or heroin addicts...

Every time they disturb you, go and hammer on their door. Disrupt every prayer session. Don't let them off once. They need to understand what if feels like.

And please don't retaliate, you could end up with ASB complaints against you, and they are very difficult to get rid of and tackle. You don't need the stress right now.

So if your sitting room doesn’t get the noise so much why not swap for your bedroom or get a mattress for you that lives under a bed during the day or propped up against a wall somewhere. Crap i know.

And I really would advise against hammering on their door. You might well end up with an ASB complaint against you. It is just not worth it. All they would say is they have the right to express their faith.

How was the family prior to lockdown. I live in terraced an old build very solid home I've no doubt my DC disturbed my neighbours much more than usual during lockdown they both have additional needs DS doesn't sleep he often started wailing at night.
We are more or less back our routine now he can burn off energy more freely.

I sort of get you feel like you shouldn't have to move because of your neighbours, but you are miserable in this property because of them. They sound unlikely to change, so you need to consider your options really.

@greengreengrass14 have you ever had nightmare noisy neighbours they seriously impact your everyday life. What would you suggest that the OP hasn’t already tried?

I would be losing my shit with these neighbours. Every fucking time they start their chanting I would be hammering on their door and disturbing them. Every prayer session would be ruined for them. There are churches/mosques/synagogues they can go to to do this shit but bringing it home where they disturb the neighbours isn’t on.

I would massively be making a nuisance of myself at the council housing offices and I would definitely contact my MP if they failed to do something. I would also let the head of housing know I would be going to my MP.

I think you need to get your Dr on board and get them to contact the council for you too. This is having a seriously detrimental effect on your mental health especially when you are so close to having a new baby.

I am so sorry you are going through this, OP.

@ChesterDrawsDoesntExist

If reporting definitely is not working then I'm afraid I'd have to return the favour. Bit of foul languaged heavy metal every time they start their shit might do the trick. Drown them out. A speaker on cushions on top of a wardrobe might work best if shoved up against your ceiling. Turn off as soon as their noise stops.

But I'm a petty bitch.

Deffo, I’m a petty bitch and I did similar to my neighbour when he would constantly inflict his shite Music onto me everyday that I could hear in every single room of my house from around 5/6pm until around 1am. All day at weekends). Environmental Health worked only briefly (but netted me a “punishment” hour from 10-11pm). So in the end I thought fuck it, borrowed some big ass speakers turned them to face the party Wall and let rip classical or 80s music whenever he started. They don’t like it when you do it to them. He eventually moved.

Just make sure your new born cry’s below which ever room they are in. Do this every time the baby cry’s. Call it payback

Making young children stay up to pray late every night sounds like cultish behaviour to me.

OP if you're not willing to move then I think you might as well give up complaining. The situation sounds utterly intolerable - I'd have been gone years ago - but since you're still at stage one in your anger and wedded to 'Why should I move because of THEIR noise?', I really think your complaining is pointless. They live the way they do, which is horrendous for a downstairs neighbour, but it seems nothing is going to make them change - not your asking, begging or getting the council to write to them. So move, FGS, or just accept it.

Would you have enough money to insulate your roof? I know someone had similar problems (but she owned her flat) and got the ceiling soundproofed. Don't know the cost though.