To ask how many friends you have?

[thedaywewillremeber]

I was thinking today about it I’ve only got two. I occasionally chat to a few others but they aren’t friends. Has this changed as you got older? I used to a big group of friends till my mid 20’s

None, but I have people I see during the week when out training, so acquaintances.

It's exactly how I want it.

4 good friends, can call any time sort of friends, 2 of those are especially close, speak most days kind of friends, see most weeks; while the other 2 are further away and speak with less regularly but I have known for years and I would drop everything for if they needed me.

Plus about 8 or so others, uni friends or ex
colleagues, who I would go for meals with (pre Covid), text from time to time etc.

Others are really more just acquaintances.

I have 17 people I would call friends. About half live far away and we don't see each other more than once a year, if that. Of those 17 there are 3 core friends I feel I can call anytime. The others are people I like a lot, mum friends, friends from current or previous work etc.

@DDIJ that doesn’t sound right at all. Are you ok? I hope you can access some support for your situation.

1 but she lives 2 hours away. This is probably the reason why we are still friends. See one another once a year maybe?

I had another one but she was suffocating. She valued the friendship more than I did with messaging every other day and wanting to meet up every week which was exhausting for me given I’m a working mum and she is a stay at home mum. She’s clearly got the message because I haven’t heard from her in 6 months and honestly I feel very relieved and realise In hindsight she was causing me a lot of stress.

I prefer my own company and the odd chat. Friendship feels like a huge suffocating commitment.

Never really enjoyed going out with people or even play dates.

@TheRealHousewife... I agree. I have a dog (my first as an adult) and she is truly a great friend. Always thrilled to see me. Cuddles. A talking point with other dog walkers (which is plenty of interaction for me, some days, when I’m peopled out).

1 friend who I have known since age 4 (36 now) who I see regularly, 3 good friends who now live out of my area so don’t get to see them too often. Other then that it’s just people I see daily like work and school who I might have a chat too or the very occasional meet up with my eldest sons friends mums... but I wouldn’t class them as proper friends.

It’s very hard to make friends and it doesn’t help that I’m crap at small talk and conversation starting.

About 2 really good friends. Maybe 3 or 4 more casual ones.

Got to age of 63 and got 0, nobody I could ring up in an crisis either

2 very close friends. About 8 friends who I see a few times a year and am very fond of but I wouldn't really count on them in an emergency or anything.

Since lockdown I realise that I have none.

2 very close friends.
1 friend who i have know for 22 years and another friend for 19 years.

To those saying none

@DDIJ Are you ok?

@CharlottesComplicatedWeb lovely dog you got there. I don’t often walk my dog (OH does) due to limitations. I agree dog walking is a great way to get chatting to other like minded people.

If we define friends as people you’d meet up with, have lunch, lean on when you’re down, get in touch with regularly, then I have none. I’m a useless friend. I always forget to text people back, I don’t believe I have anything interesting to say and find conversation really hard. I’m quite lonely. I’d love to have friends but I’m no good at keeping friendships going.

You know they are good friends when you've been friends for many years, don't see each other that often as you live far apart and don't even text that often as everyone had busy lives, but when you see each other, you immediately pick up as if you'd only seen them last week. I have three like that.

I also have 9 others where there are no filters and I see regularly, but I'm closer to some of those than others. History helps maintains a couple of these, but most I'd keep in touch with individually if the groups fell apart.

One of my younger relatives has no friends and would love some. It's a combination of a lack of confidence, especially in group situations, and lack of opportunity. It's such a shame as she'd make a great friend. It's a pity there aren't friendship sites like there are dating sites.

I wonder if moving around and one's circle makes a difference. I've moved quite a lot over the years both within the UK and internationally, my friends have also mostly lived in a couple of countries. Am ok at making friends but the moving around usually means having to start from scratch which is hard. Currently having to do that in London - after twenty years away.

My attitude is that it's all possible but you have to give it time and effort

1

I don't have any.

2 best friends, 4 fairly close friends and then a number of friendly acquaintances.

None

4 close friends local, one close friend abroad and then quite good school mum friends 3

Fewer as time goes on.
I would say 2 in the country I live in; and 5 very close friends but who are unfortunately an ocean away.