What the actual hell???

[Ordinarymamma]

So....my dh is going away on a motorbike trip next week. He's going quite often with different people and they always bring tents and camp at gorgeous places. As in, a perfect motorbike holiday. This time is very different.....he's going with this other guy, who im not particularly fond of, but thats beside the point. So last night my husband came back from this guys house after they had been planning the trip. Telling me that this guy is taking extra money with him because he's planning on getting a prostitute whilst they're away!! What??? I cant even explain how pissed off I feel about the whole thing! My dh keeps going on, and on, and on and on about how this has got nothing to do with him and just because that guy is doing that doesn't mean he is. Yeah im not even doubting that but that isn't even my point! So.....AIBU for being angry or have i got a point??

I don't know if YABU but if I were your DH and I was going away one on one with a mate, in tents, and the mate was planning on bringing in/going off with a prostitute I'd be pretty annoyed. Ruins the dynamic a bit doesn't it? All other ethics aside of course.

What exactly are you upset about? Two adults making their own decisions?

I mean this politely but what is your point? Do you think your husband should take a stand against prostitution by refusing to go?

Sounds like a combined confession and alibi in advance OP.

If I were you, that trip would be off, or I'd be off.

If my DH was close enough friends with someone to go on trips away with them and he then discovered that person visited prostitutes I would definitely think less of my own DH if he didn't back away from the friendship. Women aren't for sale IMO and I wouldn't want to associate with anyone who thought they were.

Sorry, i don't think worded it right, cos im so annoyed! So this time they're not going in tents. For some reason, they're going to city centres! Thats not even a motorbike holiday in itself!! Im a biker myself and ive certainly not been on any city motorbike trips. No, im annoyed about the whole situation. His mate can do whatever he wants to do but why on earth when its meant to be a biking holiday. I just don't get it. Im just pissed off i suppose.

Sounds like a combined confession and alibi in advance OP.

I agree. Why would he even tell you about his friends plans? To what end? I think it's his guilty mind talking.

My dh keeps going on, and on, and on and on about how this has got nothing to do with him

Sounds like it’s on his mind...

@Ordinarymamma

Sorry, i don't think worded it right, cos im so annoyed! So this time they're not going in tents. For some reason, they're going to city centres! Thats not even a motorbike holiday in itself!! Im a biker myself and ive certainly not been on any city motorbike trips. No, im annoyed about the whole situation. His mate can do whatever he wants to do but why on earth when its meant to be a biking holiday. I just don't get it. Im just pissed off i suppose.

In that case, I'd be leaning more towards what PicsInRed said

Maybe he wants to be upfront about his mate's plans in case you find out afterwards and think he was hiding it from you.

Yeah, that does not sound like a biking holiday!
I'm not surprised you're cross. His friend is revolting but also I'd judge anyone who was accepting of a friend 'using' prostituted women.

I wouldn’t be happy with that at all.

I would be livid! As far as going to cities, we have done cities/towns this year because the normal camping rallies have all been cancelled. There's just two running that we know of and it's getting cold for camping at night

Also a biker, and that doesn't sound like a biking holiday at all to me, more like using bikes to get to a lads weekend! Ugh

He's prepping his story in advance, I agree with PicsInRed.

No ethics-aside answer from me I'm afraid.

What kind of friend makes time on a trip to abuse a woman?

I wouldn't be comfortable with this, even though I'd trust my DH wouldn't be into that or do that sort of thing .. I wouldn't want him around it, if that makes sense?

I can't explain it, but if it was the other way round I'd feel like I was disrespecting DH by being around prositutes.

I don't know, I just wouldn't like it.

YANBU IMO

Also, what I haven't mentioned, is that the first night's in a really expensive hotel!!!??? He was so happy telling me about that.....my response was- well you should be able to get some high end prostitutes then. He doesn't get at all why I cant even look at him, he doesn't get at all why this is even annoying me. He thought I would just laugh about it. He said, the only reason he told me (I asked him why he had even told me) was because he tells me everything. Aaargggh!!!!

So when are you booking your girlie weekend away?

Sounds like you don't trust your husband and you believe that he will also be sleeping with a prostitute. In that case you should be rethinking your marriage.

It is not your place to control his friend's behaviour.

Haha I've already told him that next summer I'm going to Benidorm with my single friend for a massive shag fest!!!

Oh god that's grim! I'd be horrified if DH remained close enough friends with someone to holiday with them, when they were gaily hiring prostitutes.

YANBU OP
I can’t understand why your DH would want to be mates with someone who would do that.

“What is she upset about?” Are you joking?! I’d be questioning my entire marriage if DH thought it was ok to be friends with someone who used prostitutes, let alone on a trip he was going on.

Yes of course it's scummy of his mate. You're not wrong there.

But why are you angry with your DH? I can't see what he's done.