What the actual hell???

[Ordinarymamma]

So....my dh is going away on a motorbike trip next week. He's going quite often with different people and they always bring tents and camp at gorgeous places. As in, a perfect motorbike holiday. This time is very different.....he's going with this other guy, who im not particularly fond of, but thats beside the point. So last night my husband came back from this guys house after they had been planning the trip. Telling me that this guy is taking extra money with him because he's planning on getting a prostitute whilst they're away!! What??? I cant even explain how pissed off I feel about the whole thing! My dh keeps going on, and on, and on and on about how this has got nothing to do with him and just because that guy is doing that doesn't mean he is. Yeah im not even doubting that but that isn't even my point! So.....AIBU for being angry or have i got a point??

I'd actually find it so pathetic if I had a DH who went along with that and condoned it and lying to his wife.
Also think it's disgusting because I can imagine the conversation they'll have the next day "what was she like?" Ugh

My dh wouldn’t go on holiday with a ‘friend ‘ like that.
He’d be appalled.

What will your DH be doing while his charmer of a friend is occupied?

I would question why my husband would still want to go on this trip, knowing what he knows and having told you about it. My husband is probably more of a feminist than I am and I also very much trust him, as I hope he does me, to not engage in something so gross. I wouldn't be angry that he told you but I'd be annoyed that he still wanted to go. Not because I'd assume he would also try to buy a woman or girl for sex/rape, but because he is condoning his friend's behaviour by agreeing to go along with it. I really can't understand why a man would think his wife would find it funny when he tells her he's off on a lad's trip and the only other one going is bragging about paying for sex. It makes me a bit sick in my mouth.

With yoir most recent posts....No way is this a biking trip. Your husband isn't as innocent as he is making it out to be

The fact that DH is constantly repeating that this is nothing to do with him suggests to me that he is unhappy with it too.

He may be looking for an excuse to drop out, e.g. the missis is kicking off.

I hope your husband keeps his social distance well away from his mate who won't be keeping his social distance from the prostitute who will have been sharing covidy bodily fluids with a lot of people

This is terrible and you have every right to be upset. They are going on a city break with a prostitute?!
My not so close friend told me that he and his close friends go away once a year on a boys only trip for a week or so. All married with kids. And listen to this - they hire prostitutes when on those trips and share them around. Everyone apart from him. Come on as I believe that crap. Of course he partakes! I can’t say I wanted to be friends with him after that. Why tell me this?!?

@underneaththeash

This is clearly bollacks so why would anyone reply?

What do you mean????

someone did this on a huge wedding trip abroad (africa) where dh and dd1 went, I wasn't there. dh was totally freaked and disdainful- as he was in Chicago when some of the pre wedding party wanted to go to a "titty bar". imo I'm so grateful to have a dh who wouldn't give his time or presence to this.

He may be looking for an excuse to drop out, e.g. the missis is kicking off

Also possible

It’s basically saying that he’s going to sexually abuse someone.

I’m so sick of all the it’s okay for the happy prostitute crap. It isn’t. That anyone can be open about it is so worrying. It’s never okay.

Yanbu.

I think if your DH wants to know why you are pissed off then you could say something a long the lines of:

"Because if I found out a friend was not only using prostitutes (and whilst married too), but sees so little wrong with it that they are happy to tell me all about their plans... then I'd be taking a step back from the friendship, not going on holiday with them and expecting my partner to be OK with a trip that involved prostitution."

I don’t know about anyone else but if one of my friends told me they planned to buy a vulnerable person so they could stick things in their orifices while we were on a trip I’d decide this was no longer the friend for me and cancel my plans to join them.

The casual attitude your DH has about it and the fact he can see nothing wrong with it (the planned cheating, the prostitution of vulnerable women who are most likely beholden to some horrible violent pimp and the potential to bring back horrific STIs/Covid to his wife to mention the obvious) is worrying. If it were my DH I’d be questioning my whole marriage, my judgement of character and would be phoning a divorce lawyer.

It’s just wrong in all ways. Horrific. YANBU.

It's a biking holiday, but not really.
It's a mate's holiday, but not really.

If the mate intends to order up a prostitute, why take your DH, too??
Is it a 3-way?

Just asked my DP what he’d do if this was his friend and he said he wouldn’t go.
I wouldn’t be happy for him to either.

The casual attitude your DH has about it and the fact he can see nothing wrong with it (the planned cheating, the prostitution of vulnerable women who are most likely beholden to some horrible violent pimp and the potential to bring back horrific STIs/Covid to his wife to mention the obvious) is worrying.

This.

My DH would not go on a trip with his mates if that was the plan.
I wouldn't need to tell him that I didn't want him to go, he would just refuse.
If he didn't, I would really question his morality and our relationship.

If it were my DH I’d remind him that he doesn’t have to be the cover story for his mate’s cheating plans. If he felt so entwined he couldn’t see a way out we’d make a plan together. If he didn’t want to do that I would be considering my own relationship.

I'd be raging with my DH if I knew he was going to be associating with a man who raped bought sex from financially disadvantaged and trafficked women for his own gratification.
You are completely justified in having a massive fucking problem with it

You should tell the bastard's wife what he's planning, he deserves no less and actually a great deal more

DH wouldn’t do this. Because he is a decent person.

I wouldn’t be happy that my husband thinks sexual exploitation is an acceptable holiday activity or one that he wanted to be around.