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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

613 replies

fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits · 05/09/2020 03:39

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
PasstheBucket89 · 05/09/2020 11:32

i imagine shes up at a ridiculous hour because she went to bed so early.

PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 11:36

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

In my annoyance I've just said "and to this you want me to have a child with you" and how he's calling me all the disgusting shits under the sun. Me and DSD have gone to bed. No doubt he will be up in a minute
Why on earth would you be in a relationship with this cretin? Wouldn't being single be an upgrade?
PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 11:37

@FortunesFave

Oh OP get some pride. Don't live with this man! Don't have anything to do with him! He sounds disgusting. Your children will look at him as an example of the kind of man to go for. If they're boys they'll model themselves on him

NOT A ROLE MODEL!

Agree. Have some self-respect.
PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 11:38

@Medievalist

Sorry, no. She doesn’t sound amazing. She’s keeping this abuser around her own children constantly. She’s not amazing at all.

^^ This. I dread to think what those children have seen and heard.

Exactly. What are these poor children learning from all this?

BlackSwan · 05/09/2020 11:38

Disgusting. And a shit father.

wigglebox · 05/09/2020 11:40

The reason the op had not returned is because there is no adult awake in the house and that poor little girl is prob sat in front of a phone because the adults cannot wakeup due to the chaotic night. Oh why oh why aren't all children, safe and loved(not just saying you love them,actually attending to all their basic needs too).
It breaks my heart to think of a 4 Yr old being sent to bed at 4pm. The op doesn't even know why she was in bed at 5pm,who is in control here and taking responsibility for this child.
Please tell me her mother lives a stable life and provides this girl with love and security.
When was the last time this child had a proper meal, dinner or breakfast?? What time was she last fed.
Get this child out of this house and back to her mother and inform her of everything you have told us here, if you do not do that then you are just as bad as him.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 05/09/2020 11:47

Whose house is this? Can you ask him to leave?

Alfiemoon1 · 05/09/2020 11:51

Have you been drinking op? I don’t understand why you were trying to engage with him when he’s pissed or allowing the child to see him in that state or ordering takeaways surely the best way to deal with his appalling behaviour was to take the child to bed and deal with him in the morning for the child’s sake

You need to leave and definitely don’t have a child with him

OhCaptain · 05/09/2020 11:52

My guess is they were both pissed.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 05/09/2020 11:53

This is why SS exists. A mother with live-in kids who subjects them to living with her abusive, pisshead boyfriend and his kid subjected to an alcoholic, neglectful excuse for a parent. The shit some kids have to put up with due to the misfortune of being born to immature adults who put themselves first. Poor things.

Anothernick · 05/09/2020 11:59

Disgusting. He is obviously completely unfit to be a parent if he got that drunk whilst in charge of a young child.

And as for pissing on the floor, I've had a few drinks in my time and I've certainly gone in places where perhaps I shouldn't, like the garden or the sink, but not on the floor! That's just horrible and suggests he may be heading for alcoholism if he isn't there already.

Alfiemoon1 · 05/09/2020 12:06

It’s not clear to me whether he put his child to bed at 5 pm and went out drinking therefore leaving her in your care and therefore you could of kept her up later and given her a normal bedtime routine not saying it’s right him doing that

Or if he or probably both of you were drinking at home and he had more than you and pissed on the floor the child was in your home that night you were both aware she was in bed at 5 pm because it suited you both neither one of you behaved like responsibly adults and I do understand she’s not your child but you both knew she was staying the night

The child’s mother needs to be told before the poor child mentions at nursery or school the chaotic behaviour she witnessed and social services get involved

ShiveringCoyote · 05/09/2020 12:10

Are you waiting for him to kill you and/or your children?

TheyThoughtItWasAllOver · 05/09/2020 12:14

[quote fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]@QueenOfPain I don't know. Perhaps. Just nipped to the loo, he's sparko'd, she's watching his phone on the lounge floor. Just annoys me, I don't understand how men become so pathetic, it angers me![/quote]
I am sympathetic, OP: my ex had issues with alcohol and was not a good parent when our DC were young.
However, I think the answer to this is the bar for their behaviour is set too low. They get away with it. Then the cycle continues as the next generation witness such low expectations.
Not all men behave like this; it shouldn't be accepted.

Mydarlingsleepthief · 05/09/2020 12:17

Of course they were both pissed, why else was she ordering food etc. Disgusting that poor child

Codexdivinchi · 05/09/2020 12:18

@Mydarlingsleepthief

Of course they were both pissed, why else was she ordering food etc. Disgusting that poor child
Yep
kazzer2867 · 05/09/2020 12:23

@Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd

This is why SS exists. A mother with live-in kids who subjects them to living with her abusive, pisshead boyfriend and his kid subjected to an alcoholic, neglectful excuse for a parent. The shit some kids have to put up with due to the misfortune of being born to immature adults who put themselves first. Poor things.

^^This 100%.

The only one's I feel sorry for in all this is all the kids involved in this shit storm. And @OhCaptain I have a feeling you are correct about both of them being pissed. Sad. So sad for those kids. Really hope someone (SS) intervenes.

Carouselfish · 05/09/2020 12:29

If he was 18 this might be a gross, silly story. But he's a father and his kid is THERE. Poor, poor child. Who behaves like that?

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 05/09/2020 12:32

@Carouselfish

If he was 18 this might be a gross, silly story. But he's a father and his kid is THERE. Poor, poor child. Who behaves like that?
God, when I was 18 and guys did this I found it disgusting, not silly, and I used to drink like a fish back then. I binned anyone who did this immediately.
DidoAtTheLido · 05/09/2020 12:37

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

Anyone else living with a toss pot m?
Why does it matter? Does it make it more 'normal' or OK? Would you be 'glad to know I'm not the only one'?

Not all men are like this. Actually a tiny minority of men are like this. I don't know a single man who is like this. Or a single woman who would put up with it.

Whether you do or not is up to you. Complaining about this man is like complaining that bears shit in the woods. He is like it. You know it.

Prig · 05/09/2020 12:42

I think OP is used to being around people like this and the tone of the posts hints at humour, despite it reading as a deeply unpleasant reality. I wouldn't say to OP "you're better than this" as unfortunately I don't think she is.

Alfiemoon1 · 05/09/2020 12:45

Glad I am not the only one who thinks they were both pissed last night

Op I’ve read your other threads you need to get him to leave call women’s aid before you loose your own children because of this man

BlowingmyJets · 05/09/2020 12:46

Op, I've had lots of experience with drunks and you learn very quickly, that you don't wake them up.

Never wake them up, let them sleep it off.
The mum needs to know, you need to leave.

This is creating nasty childhoods when the power is all yours to say, no.
This isn't good enough for us.

Good luck op. This is heart breaking.

SuitedandBooted · 05/09/2020 12:49

I think OP is used to being around people like this and the tone of the posts hints at humour, despite it reading as a deeply unpleasant reality. I wouldn't say to OP "you're better than this" as unfortunately I don't think she is.

Exactly Some people have a low bar, and some can't even find it. The OP is not "amazing", as she is subjecting children to this awful life, just so she can say she has a man.

Get some self respect, OP, and get rid.

OhYeahYouSuck · 05/09/2020 12:54

Timeline isn't adding up.

What child (that isn't a baby) goes to bed at 5pm.
He didn't wake for a food delivery, after 4am!
He was snoring at 4.10am yet at 4.25 am he was calling you names.

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