Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

[fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

Has he gone now?

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I genuinely feel like I have no good reason to end it other than it feels wrong. He doesn't do what he used to. So I feel bad

OP, all of the things you’ve mentioned on here are more than enough evidence to end it. I promise you, no one will think badly of you for ending a relationship with a man who has set you on fire.

I'm glad it feels wrong to be with a man who behaves like this. That's because it is wrong!

Just end it OP it is enough to simply want to do that (although you have many others reasons).

But your posts here and what he does to your mental health shows youhave to end it for you

In a taxi with my 4 year old to my mums as we speak x 6 yr old with her dad

I love him but I'm not happy. This is so so hard

Why do I feel guilty. He's no good for me. I'm just not happy

fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

This is actually the tough bit. I remember leaving my ex with dd warped up in a quilt in a taxi too.

You’ve got to talk honestly with your mother and get some really good support of your friends. This feeling will pass but it may take a week or so when you can start seeing things for what they are. I remember feeling like my heart had actual pain in it I was so upset.

Have a look at co-dependency.

Also are you leaving your own house?

The guilt is a part of grieving the relationship you wished it was. You feel guilty for leaving a man who doesn’t actually exist - the version that is nice sometimes or fun or whatever. The real man is vile and awful and makes you miserable.

The guilt will pass. It’s just a part of the process. Let it wash over you, don’t try to argue it away, just let it go.

You are doing the right thing. I have no doubt about that, and I am very proud of you.

[quote fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]@QueenOfPain I don't know. Perhaps. Just nipped to the loo, he's sparko'd, she's watching his phone on the lounge floor. Just annoys me, I don't understand how men become so pathetic, it angers me![/quote]
But you're in a relationship with him..... if it angers you so much, end it

It's normal to feel guilty and grieve the relationship, even if you know the person is no good for you.

Well done OP, you've done a very brave thing

My mum is fuming.

With me

Why?

Why, FGS? Does she know what he's done?

Lots of reasons really. I feel so ashamed

She's angry at me for allowing it to get to this stage

I feel awful, bundling the 4 year old into a taxi, she even brought her summer hat, kept it beside her in the car. Of all the things, she brought her summer hat 😞

Well done for leaving OP, you and your DCs deserve so much more than this. I hope your Mum is kinder to you tomorrow, did she know about what was going on or is she acting out because she is shocked do you think? Either way seems a bit pointless her having a go at you now you have left

I feel bad. I sent a message a few hours ago to him (he'd gone to bed in the hump). I just keep thinking how upset he will be in the morning. I've told my mum everything, how he drinks too much, how he influences me to drink too much. He's a bad influence. Yet I love him. Mums coming with me in the morning to pack his things. Hoping he leaves my house and car keys under the mat like I've asked so I can get my little one to school and get into my house. I left in haste, forgot my medication etc. What a mess

What do you love? What about him is remotely loveable? He's treated you and the children very badly.

Think about that when you wobble.

This man has made you feel you ate not worthy of a normal life or normal relationship for that matter and while you think this, that you cant do it alone, that no one else will have you, remember, you had a life before him and you will have a life after him. You ARE worthy and you have the right to find happiness outside this relationship.

He should be feeling guilty for what he did to you.

"I've told my mum everything"

I hope so. Including how he has physically and sexually assaulted you, been abusive in front of the children. People IRL need to know this because you are still messaging him and you've only just left.

You need to put your kids first regardless of how much snivelling he does or how you think you feel about him. Otherwise you'll have lost your kids by their teenage years.