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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

613 replies

fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits · 05/09/2020 03:39

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Pantsomime · 12/09/2020 00:15

OP he clearly doesn’t feel bad for wrecking your life, this is his 3rd attempt - make sure it’s his last- do it! Sleep well

Original poster
fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits · 12/09/2020 00:20

I genuinely feel like I have no good reason to end it other than it feels wrong. He doesn't do what he used to. So I feel bad

OP posts:
Pantsomime · 12/09/2020 00:25

Ok so if you are happy great - suggest you re read your thread - be brave - only you xxx as n do this and you can do it. You owe it to yourself to have a good future

Pantsomime · 12/09/2020 00:25

Typo -“ can do it”

skodadoda · 12/09/2020 00:34

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I'm not minimising it. His behaviour was absolutely fucking foul. I've split with him 3 times already for previous behaviour
But you keep going back . You have to stick with it OP.
GoldfishParade · 12/09/2020 00:50

OP why dont you think his behaviour is bad enough? Didnt he try and set fire to your genitals? RIP your nipple?
What you do is you find some men, friends or friends of friends, cousins, boyfriends of friends, get three or four of them. You get them to physically remove his stuff, including furniture and out it by the side of the road. You change your locks in the meantime. You call this pathetic excuse for a man and you tell him he needs to come and pick up his stuff outside now, or you are having it taken to the tip. Then you block his number.

Do you have close friends? Siblings? What is your family and social circle like? Do you have support? Somebody who can come and stay with you for a week or two?

You can do this OP. It's not worth it. Your life can be so peaceful and happier.

PatricksRum · 12/09/2020 02:01

OP please contact his dc's mother to tell her about this.

His contact needs to be supervised.

Wolfiefan · 12/09/2020 08:22

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits Isn’t not wanting to be with a drunken abuser a good enough reason?
You need to get away from this.

Jux · 12/09/2020 09:55

Isn’t not wanting to be with a drunken abuser a good enough reason?

Yes, yes it is.

Pacif1cDogwood · 12/09/2020 10:07

Feel mind fucked I really do.

That is because you have been.

I genuinely feel like I have no good reason to end it other than it feels wrong.

And THAT is a very valid reason to get out of a relationship.

Any good relationship ought to make you feel better, add to your life, make you feel supported and held when things are tough. NOT make you walk on egg shells, feel anxious and fearful and constantly question yourself.

Trust how you are feeling. This man is not good for you, nor the children. Get out.

KunekuneKristmasCake · 12/09/2020 10:07

Hold to your resolve and kick him out

AdoraBell · 12/09/2020 10:12

OP you do have a good reason to end this relationship, it doesn’t feel right

That is a good solid reason.

thepeopleversuswork · 12/09/2020 10:31

I genuinely feel like I have no good reason to end it other than it feels wrong.

OP firstly you don't need a good reason to end it. You can end it just because it feels wrong. That's OK.

Secondly read this thread back and tell me you can't see a reason to end it. You've outlined a catalogue of abuse, alcoholism, neglect. There are so many reasons to end it.

Kazakaren · 12/09/2020 11:07

I genuinely feel like I have no good reason to end it other than it feels wrong.

That in itself is a good reason. If you're not happy you don't have to stay.

TempestHayes · 12/09/2020 11:25

You live with a man who put his daughter to bed at 5 so he could get drunk and piss on the floor?

Well, that's revolting. Perhaps it's time to re-assess your standards?

TempestHayes · 12/09/2020 11:27

Just tell him it's over and to leave. Ignore all further words that bleat from his mouth.

Most women wouldn't even sit next to this scumbag on a bus. He doesn't deserve one second more of your attention.

DidoAtTheLido · 12/09/2020 11:44

Why do I feel bad for planning it

Because you have been physically and emotionally abused by him. People think that makes it easy to leave, sounds logical, right? But the opposite is true. Abuse takes away the very courage and self esteem that you need in order to rescue yourself. When you are told you are rubbish, treated like rubbish, you find it hard to have the confidence to take control of your own self. You find it hard to believe that you can manage alone.

He doesn’t own you, you don’t need a reason or permission to leave. Leave, find your Freedom, and do The Freedom Programme online.

This will help you understand what you have been living with and give you added strength to stay away from him for good.

Good luck, Biscuits.

LittleTiger007 · 12/09/2020 12:02

Please don’t have a baby with this man. You will be the only adult in the house.

Pumpkintopf · 12/09/2020 16:41

Hope you're ok today op.

RoSEbuds6 · 12/09/2020 19:10

Maybe ask yourself how you would feel if your daughter was with someone like him? That might galvanise you into action.
Either that or your boyfriend is a really nasty drunk and he needs to stop drinking.

VestaTilley · 12/09/2020 19:40

LTB.

Sweetpea1532 · 12/09/2020 19:47

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I have read this thread over several days and it seems that your thoughts are stuck on all the horrendous things he has done to you and how he is mistreating his precious child...

I have an idea..I feel if you will start actually visualising your families' life without him in it and how wonderful and FREE you will feel, you will see this situation from a different perspective. This is what all the PP who have taken the time to write are picturing for you. You have so many choices right now. Especially since he lives in your house. You can now have your home the way you like it by acquiring new furnishings piece by piece that will have positive energy attached to it because you chose it and love it.

You sound like a very kind person and really deserve to be treated well by a mate....visualise what your future is going to look like without your OH in it...no more verbal abuse and you can get on with your life in a brilliant way...your DDs will be so much happier without this upheaval in their lives...you will have PEACE in your life so you can concentrate on your little family without the unexpected interruptions of life that PD brings with him occupying not only your physical space but also your mental and emotional space...this is WHY you don't know what to do...he has taken over your sense of self and is destroying it bit by bit. OP, you are strong and have it in you to stop this merry-go-round in your families' lives.

You've just ÀLLOWED him to possess you....he really isn't at fault...as they say, "you teach people how to treat you" by allowing their behaviour to continue...So,OP,
GOOD NEWS!!! A bright future awaits you...
You are RELEASED from this way of life. You no longer have to have this person in your life who drains every bit of energy that you have. People are either faucets(they give energy when they are around you) or they are drains( they suck the very life nd energy out of people)His life is what he created, so he will have to deal with that, not you, because as you have seen, YOU CAN'T change HIM.
Think about how light you will feel when he is gone...the only hole he will leave in your life will quickly be filled with overflowing positive things....
I am very excited for your brilliant future, but you have to claim it.

Whether you choose to have another DP in your life is your decision...my mum once told me..." Sweetpea, you can't find Mr.Right until you get rid of Mr. Wrong!"
So start this minute by closing your eyes and picturing that super fun, exciting, positive life you will have when you take control of your own life.
You can do this! One step at a time...visualise it first so your mind will know what lies ahead.

DidoAtTheLido · 12/09/2020 19:58

It's your house...that's such a strong position for you to be in!

Don't tell him you are unhappy etc etc - he will just make it harder for you. Don't explain, and certainly don't expect him to understand.

You are not happy, he is making you very unhappy, so....he has to go. No ifs, no buts.

Don't get into a drawn out conversation about it - no point.

Be calm and sure, get a friend round who is on your side, tell him he has one hour to pack his stuff.

Have phrases in your back pocket:
"No I don't want to discuss that"
"I have nothing more to say"
"That's my decision, so just complete the practicalities and pack your stuff please"
I have said that this is the end - and that's the end of it...you have another half hour"

And go and do some jobs, keeping a eye on what he packs.

Sweetpea1532 · 13/09/2020 14:00

BISCUITS,
Just to clarify....when i said OHs daughter was precious, I meant it in an endearing way, not as snide remark

dollypartonscoat · 13/09/2020 14:35

He was abusing you whilst you posted on this thread last time. He is like this NOW. He's not great with the kids. His poor daughter saw him unconscious in his own piss after he'd made her go to be at 5 in the afternoon.

Do everyone a favour and put their safety first.

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