Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

[fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

Where does it leave him in the morning?

Out.

Being honest. I feel bad, really bad and I'm so used to us two being together that the thought of that ending leaves me feeling unsure. But truth be told I don't fancy him, he makes me feel shit when he's drunk and it's really not my problem if he doesn't want to live with his mum. I love his daughter but I have to do what's right for me. I think I need to be strong. Call a day on this. His stuff is in my house, unsurprisingly he's replaced my stuff with his. So it's all his. So I can't even just block and move on

If anyone can advise I'd be grateful. And if anyone can advise me on how to be strong it'd be much appreciated. I know this isn't for me but it's what I'm used to

Pack all the stuff up you can into bin bags and place by front door. He leaves tomorrow, call the police if need be.

Change locks.

Tell home to email to arrange to pick up everything else, you will check email once per week.

Block on phone and all social media, check email once per week.

My advice is to put your own daughters at the centre of your decisions. Surely you want better for them than witnessing this shit show? It’s so fucking damaging for them. (Don’t kid yourself that they don’t see the worst of it.)

For tonight read through the Women’s Aid website:
www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/

Tomorrow tell him it’s over (get someone to be with you if you need to), change the locks and block him in all platforms.

Report concerns about his daughter to her mum and SS.

Focus on your daughters.

Step by step.

Ok. So why do I feel so guilty

SparkingLime gives good advice. Take it a step at a time. Tell someone you trust that you're ending your relationship this weekend and you need support to get ex to move out.

You can do this.
You need to do this.
No one can do it for you, but it will be so, so worth it.

I know this isn't for me but it's what I'm used to

That sentence alone is heartbreaking.
It's not for you or ANYBODY. Nobody should have to live like this.

Thank goodness it is your house, not his. It gives you options.

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

Ok. So why do I feel so guilty

I’d quit the navel gazing and start reading Women’s Aid website and making a plan.

Or if you’ve been drinking then go to bed and start planning tomorrow.

I think I will contact women's aid by live chat and just voice my thoughts. See what they say

So I'm chatting to the people closest to me. One reply is "go to bed and think about things before you make the decision to end it" what fucking hope so I have

Legacy OP.

What is your legacy?

Those poor children.

Week in week out.

Horrific.

Just horrific.

Those poor children.

Collateral damage to your choices.

I find it really concerning how little you mention your daughters, OP. Do you know why that is?

Because he's great with them.

It's our relationship that doesn't click

Do the people close to you know he gropes you? Goads you? Pisses on the floor? Please, you have no real ties to this man. You don’t fancy him. You’ve never fancied him. This is insanity. Protect yourself and your children.

Like fuck he is. He treats you like shit therefore he is not a safe person to be around your children. Your daughters will have heard and seen plenty of his abuse towards you.

I guess believing that he is “great” with your kids protects you from the potentially overwhelming guilt that you are exposing your kids to this abusive guy.

I get the impression you’re drinking tonight. Start again tomorrow. You can do way better than this, for your daughters and yourself. But at the moment you’re showing a lot of denial, which is worrying.

So why oh why do I feel like I can't end this?!

Feel mind fucked I really do

Just looking on women's aid. Feel like a fraud. Like there's so many women being badly abused and here I am bleeting about my unhappy relationship

He doesn't do the things he used to do. But I can't get past it. These things ingrain done they

You are being badly abused. His reprehensible behaviour is harming you and your children.

Op please don't minimise this man's behaviour. It is not acceptable.

I'm not minimising it. His behaviour was absolutely fucking foul. I've split with him 3 times already for previous behaviour

Whats bad is I'm up now thinking of how I'll end it tomorrow. My anxiety will go through the roof. Why do I feel bad for planning it