Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

[fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

This OP is so many levels of wrong and you know that deep down. Otherwise why write these threads on here. You need to dig deep and kick him out and think of your children because let's be honest you're really not atm.
If Social services find out and you don't leave this hideous man then I'm afraid they will probably take them away. It's that bad.
Be strong enough to stop this. And don't fall for his victim card. His. Parents might have let him down for reasons he's not telling you. That's his problem not yours. Don't get sucked in

@Autumn1122 is absolutely spot on, OP, I'm sorry to say. Your posts make me think you and your partner are very similar to my adopted DDs' birth parents, who have had all four of their children taken off them. The birth mum grew up in care and has been let down badly by the system, so I've always empathised with her, but, as an end result, she's ended up in a very toxic relationship and this is the main reason why her DC have been taken off her. (There are other issues, notably drugs and alcohol, but if she had only taken this seriously, maybe things could have been different.)

Although I empathise, I've found it incredibly frustrating. I also know that some day soon, my DH and I are going to have to explain to my DDs why they couldn't grow up with their birth family. We've stuck to the life story provided by SS, with the explanation that their birth parents loved them but weren't able to look after them.

It won't be enough of an explanation when they're older, I know that. And when I see the damage that has been done to our DDs, it's very hard not to be angry with the birth parents. Because they did have choices, whereas our DDs didn't. At the end of the day, their birth mum did prioritise her relationship over working towards being able to look after her DC.

Please put your DC first. They didn't choose any of this.

I get all of what you're all saying. I clearly have issues

Literally feel stuck in a whirlpool

I need to have a look at my thought processes. I guess I feel I'm too old to find a good man

So how about going on without one at all?

Why should finding a man be your goal? Work on getting yourself in a good place before even thinking about dating. Your identity is far more than being a 'girlfriend'.

It's not my only goal. I've spent tome alone, just me and the girls. Full time work, after school clubs, the rush of the evening etc. It's not that I want a man, but eventually I probably would, and then what. I actually like being alone, house and bed to myself, watch whatever I want on tv etc I'm better alone

I actually like being alone, house and bed to myself, watch whatever I want on tv etc I'm better alone

Well there's your answer OP, you'd be happier without him, so what's your plan?

I guess I feel I'm too old to find a good man

Well its equally easy to find a bad one when you're young, to be fair. I think.many of us have.

Whereas we have experience and better judgement as we get older.

But no man is much better than a bad one.

My aunt met her second husband (first one was a cheat, sleaze and drinker. Got into bed drunk with their daughter one night) in her 40s or maybe even 50s I can't remember, she got remarried, he's a great guy. His wife had cheated on.him and he left. He's very good to my aunt, well suited to her and gives her.a far moved standard of living than the first could ever have.
Another lady I know met a widower in her 50s after years single. My 96 year old grandmother acquired a gentleman "friend" after losing my grandfather in his 80s - unfortunately he had passed away now but it proves there is no such thing as too old.

*better standard of living.

My DSis had an abusive first H, I only knew how bad it had been for her when they split up and she started talking about it. I helped her file for divorce; her solicitor advised her to take back control by filing herself.

She was 32 then. Four years later, after OLD, she met her lovely now DH, and they've now been married for 12 years and they have 3 DC of their own and she has a DSS from his previous marriage.

Previously, she wouldn't let me say a word against her ex. Now she knows what a happy relationship is like, she knows exactly what her ex was.

So there really are decent men out there. But, as has been said previously, it's better to have no relationship than a bad one. My DSis took her time and in the end she did find a man who really was right for her.

OP - we've all had crappy relationships. I went out with a high functioning alcoholic for 9 years, thinking that 'relationships take work' and that our crappy relationship was somehow my fault, my failing, my inability to fix him, my wanting 'too much'. And then I met my DH who was so lovely and my best friend that I realised that it wasn't my duty to stay in a crappy relationship, and that I could be happy.
Look back through these replies for the poster who mentioned "FOG" it could provide you with some clarity.
Good luck!

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I need to have a look at my thought processes. I guess I feel I'm too old to find a good man

You are never too old, but also no manis better than a man like this.

I'm so unhappy. He's being a dick again. I just don't want this 😭

It’s soooo much better being on your own. Your choice of tv programmes. Your choice of dinner. Your mess only. Your washing only. The whole bed to yourself.

What you waiting for OP. The single life awaits

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I'm so unhappy. He's being a dick again. I just don't want this 😭

So why have you not left him?

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits

I'm so unhappy. He's being a dick again. I just don't want this 😭

Jesus Christ, the level of insanity here is frustrating.

Another week of your children living with abuse, and you don’t give a shit.

Just leave Christ sake your letting your kids witness this

Do something before your neighbours or someone else report you to social services

Oh op I was with a man who was very much like your dp except I was with him for 13 years, parented 2 sds when they were with us because he couldnt be arsed and ended up having 2 more children with him, (already had 2 of my own)

He destroyed my life and my mental health and he was awful just awful

I kicked him out finally after 1 incident where he got drunk and tried t smash.my front door in

I'm with someone else now. I was 41 and we are still going strong. And brilliant

What I'm trying to say is please leave and dont have kids with him. He wont change and will slowly chip away at your self worth year after year

And it affected my dc too.

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits take it from a woman who made some bad decisions and didn't safeguard her children. SS will take them from you and you'll end up with supervised visits as they're concerned that you will be a risk to them.

Get rid of him

Then end it.

Whose house do you live in?

I know. He thinks I'm a joke. I've told him I don't want it. He said "so where does this leave us in the morning" I've told him I'm done. This is it. I'm unhappy

@RandomMess it's my house