Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

[fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

Are you serious @GalaxyCookieCrumble?! Everything in this thread and you think drinking a bottle of wine is Seriously major Safe Guarding issues?

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits you need to get this man out of your home. Who fucking cares if his mum and dad badly let him down. He's an adult. Your children aren't, and by not getting him out you are letting THEM down.

You wrote in March that you ended it with him and he was 'distraught'. Yet your post was about how he was basically physically assaulting you at every turn? How can you have so little respect for yourself?

I know this sounds like I'm bashing you, maybe I am. But you're six months on from where you were in March and still he's living with you, presumably nothing has changed other than he has progressed to pissing all over the floor.

I feel so sorry for you but I'm also angry you won't take the sensible route and kick him out!

*Jeezo OP drank a bottle of wine. Hardly shooting up was she.

It's fine to drink a bottle of wine whilst caring for a 5 year old.*

No it's not. She's 3 by the way, not 5 - not that it alters the fact that drinking an entire bottle of wine whilst in charge of small children is totally unacceptable.

It makes me feel quite sick to think of a 3 year old in a house with one adult who is paralytic and another who has consumed a whole bottle of wine. Truly disgusting behaviour.

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits you posted this a week ago:

Plus I'm scared to end things, the next person I meet might treat me awfully

What about this relationship is not being treated awfully? That you're not dead yet?

@MsEllany yes I am considering both were drinking if you bothered reading through.

Oh god you again OP. I just saw your thread from March and figured it was a wind up. Still hopeful.

I don't get it? You sound articulate? You don't come across like an idiot at all...and yet...

If all these threads are for real you are failing your children. You should be ashamed.

And what if you were single? You wouldn’t treat yourself awfully, would you?
Imagine the peace.

Wise up and kick him out. I am sure you can do better than this disgusting man.

This man is a danger to you, your children, and his child. He enjoys degrading, hurting and frightening you. His presence in your home is a safeguarding issue.

You’ve said that you worship your two daughters, but you are exposing them to this violent abuser/sexual sadist. How would you feel if someday they choose men who sexually grope, assault, and coerce them. Who burn their trousers at the crotch and bum and tear their nipples. Who slap and make them cry with pain and shock. Who rip off and destroy their clothes and underwear and urinate on their floor. Who control and manipulate them with tales of woe.

Despite all of the above horror, last week you described this monster as “lovely” and said you’re with him because “he’s good to me.”

His neglect/abuse of his little daughter is very disturbing. Her mother must be informed.

Three children are being exposed to an unsafe, abusive home. They will be learning how to accept mistreatment in their future relationships.

What is your dealbreaker, OP? What exactly will it take for you to throw him out and mean it?

You are living with a psycho Neanderthal. I remember your other thread too.

The little girls being dragged through this - you have a choice here but they have none.

This is their childhood. This is what they will look back on.

Honestly, people should need a licence to have kids.

Fucking joke.

By staying with this individual, you are providing a blueprint for the future relationships your DCs will have. Your DDs will chose similar partners, your DSs will mirror his behaviour. They deserve better.

I suspect you left your last thread because of the 'pile-on' that ensued and I suspect that this is going to go the same way.

I'd like to gently point out that the 'pile-on' was instead the frantic response of posters desperately telling you that your situation is incredibly wrong and very likely dangerous. It no doubt felt like an attack so you stopped posting.

You must know in your heart that this man shouldn't be near you or your DD's and your DSD. They will be learning very quickly from you that these standards are so acceptable for them. And should you choose to let him stay as they grow up, they will see more, understand more and learn more of this. They will then, quite likely, run away from you and your home at the first given opportunity and are nearly guaranteed to end up with problem partners. Your babies will suffer the same.

Is this what you want?

You feel that, somehow you are responsible for the well-being of this man? You are not.

Did lockdown prevent you from telling him to leave? You sounded scared to tell him to leave in your first thread - I can actually understand why. Did you imagine that he'd make a scene, shout, cry etc? Trash the place?

Your life is a very unhappy picture OP. YOU can change this. There is nothing appealing about this man - that in itself is a good enough reason to end the relationship. Reading the other thread however is very, very alarming.

Are Social Services involved at all with DSD? OP, you must surely realise that if they knew your circumstances, they'd question your perceived loyalty to him and then question the safety of the DC in the house?

Can you talk to the DSD's mum? You need to alert her. Nothing you tell her will be a surprise to her, but frankly, this isn't of importance. Tell her what's happened and to be prepared to change her DSD's contact situation.

Be prepared to text him when he's out of your home, that you're ending your relationship. He can collect his stuff (which you will bag up) at an agreed time.

Do you have any brothers or cousins that can support you? Any friends that can be around when he collects his things?

Locksmith - change locks.

If you can't do any of these things then you really need to ask yourself why. Why are you putting the needs of this man above the safety of your little girl and his little girl?

Please OP. Both your threads make me incredibly uneasy - you must take back control here. You have much to lose.

If SS were informed of your circumstances, they would be concerned about your inability to safeguard your DC and his child. And I'm sorry to say that I hope they are informed. Because wha you've described sounds really scary, with such young children being caught up in this toxic environment.

At the very least, your DSD is being seriously neglected and her mother really does need to know this, so that she can keep her safe by stopping contact.

Why are you still with this horrific abuser?

I don't want this thread to turn into another pile-on. OP is seriously in FOG now (fear, obligation, guilt) and needs a way out of this.

OP please respond.

Ive not yet read the first thread but to normalise this and think it is acceptable for your child means your boundaries and expectations are poor.

Find a way to leave him soon and give your child a better life with no childhood trauma that will impact her life.

Op, you know this relationship isn't right for you. From all of your posts, it's obvious that you don't enjoy being with him and you are not happy with his behaviour. Perhaps he is not as overtly abusive as you ex but you still know this is not a good healthy relationship and is very far from how you should be treated.

You can end this relationship, and you should. You are not responsible for his emotional states, you are not responsible for his childhood or his future decisions or living arrangements. You are responsible only for your life and for protecting and providing for your daughters. You can't save him or fix him and you absolutely should not sacrifice yourself or your life for his 'happiness'. He is a grown man who has responsibility for his own self. Do not feel guilty, think of yourself and your children and your future. End it, change the locks, put his stuff outside and ring the police regarding ANY threatening behaviour or overtly emotional scenes. You don't owe this man a thing.

Why on earth are you with this guy? Don’t inflict him on another child.

OP, please seek RL help.

This is no way to live for you, or the kids. They have no choice, you do - use it.

You need to leave. Assuming his child's mother is not like him, you then need to give her all the evidence she needs so that she can protect her child from him.

Hope you made him clean it up OP.

Who the hell gets pissed when they have a child to look after? Very irresponsible

@lboogy my ex did..thats why hes an ex and has no contact with ds

I think OP has left the chat.
But@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits,I hope you will come to your senses, and give your head a shake and realise the sad dangerous childhood you are giving those vulnerable Daughters.
For their sakes, if not yours,leave the sadist.
Your self esteem must be so low to allow this violent abuser into your lives.
The daughters have no choice.
You do.