Partner just pissed on the kitchen floor

[fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits]

We have a downstairs toilet, it was less than 3 steps away. He's fucking pissed on the kitchen floor. Now he's trying to sleep on the sofa while I pacify his daughter (who ou love dearly!) because he put her to bed at 5.

Keep getting "why you being mardy"

"Babe what's up"

"Why you being off with me?"

Well perhaps it's because I'm parenting tour child while you claim exhaustion b the sofa. And to think this moron is begging me to have a baby with him 😂 give me strength!!!!!!!!!!

I probably would have called the child's mother then and there and told her (or videochatted) exactly what he looked like, including the 'puddle' on the floor.

I'd have packed them both up this morning and delivered DSD back to her mother and then kicked that bastard out on the nearest street corner.

Absolutely NOTHING is happening to my little girl

She’s being forced to live in a house with at least one alcoholic, and grow up amongst physical and sexual violence. She’s being raised in a house where another child (your boyfriend’s daughter) is being neglected.

Is this the understanding you want your child to gain of how adult relationships work?

You’re going to create an environment that is so abusive, she’ll flee it as soon as she can any with anyone who gives her the slightest bit of attention, regardless of what she has to do to keep him interested.

It’s a cycle.

He has done a lot to you in the past 18 months OP, it will never get better.

Nice victim blaming there.

Oh, give over. You are not doing any favours to women by playing this stupid card. Women need to start taking responsibility for themselves and not continuously enabling men to treat them like shit.

[quote borntohula]@OhCaptain I think you'll find a lot of parents drink wine when the kids have gone to bed...[/quote]
And I think you’ll find that most decent parents wouldn’t have any kids in the middle of this shit show in the first place.

I also disagree. I think a good person (let alone parent) would prioritise the needs of a child. So if she knows one adult in the house is right, violent and abusive while drinking then why would she also drink?

OP, if this isn't exceptionally unusual behaviour for him, I'd see it as a lucky escape! It would be easy to walk away from him! What an idiot!

@fuckthisforabarrelofbiscuits
My Goodness so unacceptable.
My friend saved up for a new bed and mattress- took her months.
A date she brought home pissed in her bed.
Disgusting and vile.
For someone to get that rat arsed?
Show him the door.
Do NOT have kids with this bloke.😱

The thought of that poor little girl sitting on her dads phone at 4am whilst he's passed out next to her is making me feel sick. Without taking into account that he fobbed her off to bed in the afternoon so that he could disappear out drinking.
No wonder she was up at that time, she was probably hungry!!
Absolutely dreadful.
He's not fit to be a parent.

You should tell her mum what he's like so she can get the ball rolling to protect her child. He doesn't seem to give a fuck.
You should also make moves to protect your children to. Change the locks, leave his stuff at the door.
Raise your standards!

He's a vile excuse of a human.

@VodselForDinner

Absolutely NOTHING is happening to my little girl

She’s being forced to live in a house with at least one alcoholic, and grow up amongst physical and sexual violence. She’s being raised in a house where another child (your boyfriend’s daughter) is being neglected.

Is this the understanding you want your child to gain of how adult relationships work?

You’re going to create an environment that is so abusive, she’ll flee it as soon as she can any with anyone who gives her the slightest bit of attention, regardless of what she has to do to keep him interested.

It’s a cycle.

Agree totally. A dreadful example to a child. This is exactly how the cycle of abuse is- Kids deserve better, even if it means forgoing appalling relationships and being single. IMHO

There is a part of you allowing this to happen.
Was the food you were ordering food at 4am for him? You keep rescuing him from the consequences of his own behaviour.
You have become his enabling Carertaker. You allow him to treat you like his possession and his servant.
You are not responsible for his behaviour. But you are responsible for your part in it.
You are trapped in the Co-dependent dynamic.
There's nothing bad or weak about you.
It's a learned pattern of responding that you learnt as a very young child in your own home.
The fear is that the man's needs have to be met by the woman or the woman will be rejected. Your mother sounds the same if she 'loves' your partner.
Your mother will be of little support to you because it sounds like she too puts her own needs aside in order to act like a servant to a man.

You need help to get out of this situation, because your fear of being abandoned by this man is so great that you will continue to put your own needs and safety and the needs and safety of your children on the line.
He treats you like an object that he uses for his own needs. He lovebombs and tells you you are an amazing woman in order to manipulate you to keep you onside, but then abuses you.
He doesn't look after his daughter because the woman who gets down on the floor to clean up his piss will do whatever it takes.

Get this book - Unwrap the Gift of You by Judith Carmody. It's on Amazon and on Bookdepository. It explains Co-dependency and abusive dynamic and how to recover yourself.
www.amazon.co.uk/Unwrap-Gift-YOU-Judith-Carmody/dp/0995593132/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=judith+carmody&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1599316457&sr=8-2

Leave him for your kids’ sake, and get your stepdaughter back to her mother. Even if you don’t care about your own living environment or safety, your kids need somewhere they’re safe and cared for.

My dad was abusive while I was growing up. I would only settle for my mum, because she was the ‘nice’ one who looked after us. As a teenager, I begged her to leave him so that we could be safe. As an adult, I don’t speak to either of them, because she allowed his abuse to continue so that she didn’t have to be single. If you care about your DC, put their safety first.

He’s begging you to have a baby with him in order to ensure you’ll feel tied to him. He then ensures that you’ll be there to mop up after his filthy habits. Come on OP, if you had a dog you would housetrain it. Have you asked his dd’s mother why they’re no longer together?

Quote: dad was abusive while I was growing up. I would only settle for my mum, because she was the ‘nice’ one who looked after us. As a teenager, I begged her to leave him so that we could be safe. As an adult, I don’t speak to either of them, because she allowed his abuse to continue so that she didn’t have to be single. If you care about your DC, put their safety first.“”

The bit about “ Being single”.. so true.
Women who stay in abusive relationships seem to fear being alone.
Being alone has a lot going for it. Peace. Quiet. No abuse. Harmony.
Lots of women who tried living alone will never go back to co habiting again.

*my dad and my boyfriend have both done the same thing when pissed up.
give him hell and make him clean it up!

Or maybe end the relationship and try to find a man who doesn't shove his child I to bed at 5pm do he can drink, and then gets so pissed he urinates on floors instead of in a toilet.

Thus is supposed to be his time seeing/being responsible for his daughter, I take it. But he's prioritised drinking and is now making his girlfriend look after his child early in the morning while he's hungover.

Well now you know why he a d the child's mother are not together.

Why dies he want another child when he's not interested in looking after the one he already has ... And I bet he only has herbs couple of nights.

*has her

@KatharinaRosalie

I found some other posts of OP's.

Now this is a sentence I never imagined myself writing, but pissing on the floor is the least of her problems. This man is horrible,

I can’t see OPs other posts but it seems this vile “man” burned her genitals? My goodness- he is a sadistic brute.. and Children are in this mire? Do SS know?😱

Op, his child's mother threw him back in the sea cause he's so shit. It's obvious.

Men like this just circulate endlessly in the relationship pool, with women who take their behaviour - for as long as they take it.

I can’t see OPs other posts but it seems this vile “man” burned her genitals?

What?!

God op - he sounds awful - please leave him.

@GilbertMarkham, if you look up OP's username, you'll see they posted a thread back in March about how their partner regularly physically and sexually assaults them.

@GilbertMarkham

I can’t see OPs other posts but it seems this vile “man” burned her genitals?

What?!

@GilbertMarkham It is on previous post. Appalling.☹️

*Jeezo OP drank a bottle of wine. Hardly shooting up was she.

It's fine to drink a bottle of wine whilst caring for a 5 year old*

No it isn't

Just...
Fuck him for a barrel of biscuits, sweetie.
You're worth more than this.

Someone please tell me what I'm meant to do here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3866666-someone-please-tell-me-what-i-m-meant-to-do-here

Link to the previous thread. If this doesn't make someone leave a man, nothing will.

You are abdicating your parental duties staying in this relationship, OP. I sincerely hope that you start to understand this and to take steps to leave.