To cancel christmas

[amms36]

This year has been absolutely awful. I am not convinced that it is going to improve over the next few months either.

I have tentatively told family members that I am cancelling Christmas this year. By this I mean I won't be putting up a tree, I won't be doing any 'festive' shopping, and I won't be doing anything special for Christmas Day.

Likewise, I don't expect any gifts, or anything related to Christmas.

DH thinks this is extreme and I am being unreasonable. My point is that I have never particularly loved Christmas, and feel this year especially it feels like more trouble than it will be worth. Who knows what restrictions will even be in place come December?

I think it’s fine to cancel XMas if you don’t have small kids.

I didn’t celebrate Xmas from the time I left home (at 18) to the time our first DC was born. As in no tree, no decorations, no gifts. My parents stopped too, I think they were fed up with the hassle. DH wasn’t bothered.

We still keep it simple as the hype, commercialism and materialism seem at odds with the traditional Yuletide. Instead we have lots of candles, a small tree, log fire, stockings and small gifts from Santa. And do winter crafts, sometimes go skiing (not this year obviously!)

Don't do it if you don't want to OP. One year years ago I felt the same and worked at home until midnight on Christmas eve and woke up by myself on Christmas morning. It was lovely. (I did put a small tree up and watch some Christmas films though). It made me want to celebrate it more the year after though.

And if I had to put family up, organise and cook it wouldn’t happen this year. So I think YANBU, the brunt of the work falls on you so you’ve every right to cancel it!

I hear you and have considered doing similar! I don't find anything enjoyable about Christmas. It's dark, wet and cold, the forced jollity does my head in, and you end up swapping presents with people you're not that bothered about seeing but have to, because you share DNA. It's like groundhog day, it's the same every fucking year and it's DULL. We were planning on going abroad this year, not happening now because it's all too uncertain.

You don;t have to do it if you don't want to, and it's quite liberating not to. But there are some massive Christmas freaks on MN who have been planning it since 26th december LAST year and who will come on wittering about "magic" and "family" and "snuggling with the kiddies and hot choc".

Personally, I avoid those sorts of people while looking forward to new beginnings in January and secretly thinking they can shove their secret santas and elf on the shelf where the sun doesn't shine.

I won't be! My mum has had terrible cancer and having her over to celebrate with me is lovely.

I can't be doing with Christmas either.
If it was just me- I'd not bother.
I do all of it for the kids and husband.

I could totally understand if you just wanted a small celebration, just you and DH, without entertaining hoards of family members. I would definitely say YANBU. But cancelling altogether sounds extreme and compounding the misery.

It seems like an ideal opportunity to have a cosy Christmas at home just the two of you, with good food, a nice bottle of wine, very small presents (or no presents) and simple decorations, just relaxing at home. It would just be a celebration to mark the end of a stressful year and look ahead to hopefully a better one next year. YABU to your DH if you just want to ignore the whole thing and he doesn’t.

I'm putting up the tree and lights and and looking forward to Christmas films puzzles and books (Charity shop) and some small treats . This will be a scaled down Christmas but that's no bad thing , if anything some of the pressure is off , as there is usually a lot of colds and coughs going around I am making no grand plans .

Lots of people not getting it.

Usually happy event
normally happy day
something to look forward to
magical atmosphere
celebrating christmas is important

For THEM maybe. For lots of people Christmas is just a bit "meh". A glorified sunday lunch which people start planning for in summer. People who choose not to join in with all the nonsense are thought of as weird, or diagnosed as depressed because everyone loves Christmas, righT?

Well no. Lots of people actively dislike Christmas, or just find the whole thing dull, a chore, an overblown tat fest which is the same every year and utterly tedious.

OP, you sound pretty miserable - and I mean that in a kind way.

Don’t cancel Christmas. It isn’t fair on your DH and your negative attitude is understandable but extreme. Instead, just don’t think about it. You can decide mid December.

To me Christmas (an whatever it was before that) is bringing light and hope to the darkest time of year. It seems even more important this year. We don’t go mad spending money but I love my real tree and a few decorations made from evergreens. Lights and candles everywhere and a real fire. A time to reflect on the past and future. And watch Elf while eating my body weight in cheese. If you don’t want to make an effort that makes but don’t block your DH if he wants to. Of course if he doesn’t bother it can’t mean that much to him either.

The whole point of bringing lights and green trees into the house is to remind us that darkness never lasts.

You sound abit depressed to me op, are you feeling okay day to day?
Christmas is a good excuse for doing something fun, so it should be fun in some way for you - whether that is a massage on christmas eve, a good bottle of wine, a quiet christmas walk on the day. Can you not change it to reflect something lovely for you.

I appreciate this year is harder than most, but there must be something you can find that is joyful, even if it is giving out food parcels to those less fortunate than you.

Christmas is what you make it.

You don’t have to host. Make a day of it, just you and DH. If you can’t afford to go away, make a special day of your own.

Buy nice prosecco, have a tree, make it cosy, cook a roast-small turkey crown with all the trimmings. Go for a walk whatever the weather!

Make a point of not buying gifts for anyone this year.

I would LOVE to do this, unfortunately everyone else loves Christmas. To me it’s a gigantic, expensive chore.

I see christmas as light in the gloom and darkness too. For us it is not about tat or even about gifts, it is about hope and light in the deepest, darkest part of the winter.

We're only in September now. Don't make a decision just yet. You might feel differently in a few months time.

It doesn't matter what people online think. What matters is the opinion of the person, DH, who lives with you. If my DH cancelled Christmas, I would not be happy.

Christmas isn't about money. It's about spending time with people we like in the dark winter time.
And food. It's about food. Teah

If we get towards the end of December 2020 without fucking nuclear war and Yellowstone exploding, we should all celebrate like crazy.

@Friendsoftheearth

I see christmas as light in the gloom and darkness too. For us it is not about tat or even about gifts, it is about hope and light in the deepest, darkest part of the winter.

Not picking on you, @Friendsoftheearth but although it's a hope/light time for you, can you at least appreciate that others feel different?

Jan 1st is the best day for me - new beginnings, heading back into the light of spring, the tat fest has been and gone for another year. (Or at least for 8 months until the mince pies start appearing in august).

Don’t do it if you don’t want to - your husband might tho and it feels a bit mean to just not do anything - maybe a compromise.

I could never cancel Christmas - but that’s me. Appreciate people a real different.

Perhaps we could all look out for the elderly this year, the ones that have spent all of the pandemic on their own, and now face christmas by themselves. I don't think it would be a terrible idea for us all to check that our neighbours are not by themselves this year.

The kindness shown during the lockdown could be extended to include christmas drinks in coats in the gardens, if you can't actually invite them into the home for christmas lunch. We have one or two older neighbours with no family, and I intend to ask them where they are spending christmas. It can be about goodwill and kindness, and not just more commercialism. It does not need to be lavish, but checking in on others will be more important than ever.

I’m not a Christmas person but I do make a day of it. I have a teenage son. Last year my boyfriend are round and a friend from work who had nothing’s else to do came round, we had small gifts and went to an empty skatepark. We watched “The Simpsons” and a couple of movies.

What’s wrong with a scaled down Christmas? It doesn’t cost much for a few gifts, a big dinner and the decorations you already have.

I don't understand why people stress so much about Christmas 👀 Kind of get it with kids of certain age, but otherwise it's a hell of own making.
Get tree, put pretty things on. Put pretty things around if you want to.
Get some presents or pretty envelopes to put money/vouchers in. Or don't get presents. Any is fine, it's about spending time with people you like.
Either get and send cards or schedule am email instead.
Order food in advance.
Cook together.
Eat and drink
😁

sock totally appreciate that not everyone enjoys christmas, my dh is not a fan (at all!) and endures it rather than enjoys it, but even he likes the food aspect but maybe thats all.
Why don't you enjoy christmas? Do you miss a lost loved one, have bad childhood memories?

I am not doing Christmas either this year. I live a lockdown area, have been for weeks now so no-on will be coming round., I am in the vulnerable group. Not been out since Feb.

and to top this year off nicely, my beloved 16 year cat has just had to be pts. I am devastated beyond belief and have been having some very dark thoughts.

This year needs deleting from the timeline.