how to stop my toddler swearing

[Chocice79]

my dd is 3 and in the past couple or wks she has sworn 3 times either saying fcking hell or tonight was fcking idiot it not said in anger more like to get a reaction so really worried when she goes back to nursery next wk she is going to do it there! how to u stop? everytime she has sworn she had a small punishment but she 3 and she all bout testing the boundaries.

Poor kid.

Imagine thinking that a good option here would be punishing a child for swearing when you can’t even begin to broach the issue with an adult who happily swears around said child 🤔 As a pp has said, children literally learn to speak by copying, they don’t know what are ‘good’ and what are ‘bad’ words!!

@OhTheTrees gave some fantastic advice (which I have stored mentally, just in case!), and some others have too, and you’ve chosen to lash out rather than thanking them. Do you really want help, because it seems like you don’t...

Completely ignore any swearing she does or pretend you're confused about what she said.

I said Fuck in front of my son once as I really hurt myself.

He repeated it at the time and I ignored. The next day he said it again and I pretended I thought he was talking about a duck.

He hasn't said it since.

why can i stop my husband? cos he's a adult and I can only tell him so many times not to swear and he has improved mainly she would end up him saying it in the car

Sounds like it's your husband who needs 'small punishments' for swearing. If he can't get his act together to stop swearing in front of a 3 year old, then he isn't an adult.

I work outside in quite a manual job so things go wrong and I don't always know who is in hearing distance so have alternative swear words instead.

For instance, a small injury normally results in "yow chicken nuggets".

Possibly your husband could enlarge his vocabulary in a similar way.

[quote Temp123999]@Chocice79
You still haven't acknowledged @OhTheTrees good advice [/quote]
I never understand posters like this, O often wonder if they do not say thank you in real life either? The advice Ohthetrees gave was bloody brilliant and yet the OP has completely ignored it choosing instead to argue about why its not her fault her child swears.

Seriously it's so bloody rude to just ignore someone who takes time out of their day to offer such useful advice.

My DH was working in a particular environment where swearing was commonplace. He started swearing at home a bit, not in anger but just habit.
My DD was three at the time and happily shouted out ‘for vucky sake’ in the middle of a quiet moment in church! I nearly passed out and a group of young men sitting behind me were in absolute hysterics which drew more attention to it.
Thankfully I had a box of raisins in my bag and force fed her them until she was distracted enough. Mortifying! 😳

How about stop swearing in front of your impressionable toddler OP 😂

@Ispini that's hilarious, thanks for the laugh! It's like a scene from Shameless

As everyone has said - Don’t react to it like it’s a big deal and stop exposing her to it.

The first day my ds started school, so he was 4, he came home and told me he knew a naughty word. I asked him what it was, thinking it would be 'shit' or something (which would be bad enough) but he said the C word.

I was horrified that this word had come out of my little boy's mouth and asked him where he had heard it. he said another boy (and his name) had told it him so I told my ds that it wasn't a nice word and I never wanted to hear him say it again.

I went to his schools the next day and told his teacher that other than not being impressed at my child coming home from his first day at school with that word in his vocabulary, I was concerned where another 4 year old was picking this word up from. It turned out this child lived with older siblings who commonly used this language at home and he was just repeating what he heard.

3 is too young to understand that an adult can us a particular word/words but they can't. No, you can't control what they hear when out and about but you can control your language around them as a parent and your OH has a responsibility to do so.

Before your DD stats school and you have complaints from other parents when she uses that language at school.

But why should she be punished for something an adult is doing around her on a regular basis? It seems deeply unfair.

My children heard an adult swear once and picked it up. We just ignored. They say it sometimes to get a reaction but we don’t give them one.

My DH and I used to swear plenty until we had kids - then stopped completely. Thankfully mine are now teens and though I'm sure (I know!) they swear around their friends, they've never sworn around adults or younger kids (my line in the sand!)

My DNephews, on the other hand all swore like sailors on leave from toddler-hood onwards. It made them sound like massive chavs and they got a real 'reputation' at school because of it as a rough family. All because their parents couldn't be self disciplined enough to watch their own language for a few years.

Your problem isn't your DD swearing, it's your DH's lack of self control.

@beautifulxdisasters

Why is your husband calling someone a "fucking idiot" in front of your toddler? It's not you he's calling it is it OP?

I was wondering this too. Or worse, does he say it directly to the toddler?

Stop punishing her for copying words she hears her dad say.

She must be hearing it in your home, or from other family or on inappropriate TV/devices.

Stop all swearing in front of her.

And don’t punish her- she’s a little girl. She won’t understand why it’s one rule for her and another for you. If you swear in front of her then of course she’ll do it. Curb your own language.

Has she been reading Mumsnet? ☹️

How on earth has she heard someone say that? Make sure that there is no possibility that she can hear those sort of words, eg no tv, no radio and no contact Jesus Christ don't ever take them out the house in case someone swears in the street! They're just words. Children do copy. I tell mine it's only ok to say at home when there are no guests but nowhere else. And they've stuck to that. I have 2 family members who live with Tourettes Syndrome and I'm not keeping my children away from them like they're some kind of leper

Good luck OP. Mine never muttered a swear word once but I am far from perfect, things slip out.

Ugh ....punish the toddler for repeating the foul mouth of her 'DF'

What a grim situation

@Chocice79

I cannot control what my husband says also to those saying their child would never hear swearing, really? so what if u took them to the park and the people near them swore to say you kid would never hear a swear word is impossible. lastly when I say small punishment I ment when she last said it we were on the way for her to have a bath which she loves to do so instead she had a shower instead nothing major!

You're still sanctioning a toddler for something that wasn't their fault!

You've asked a question and been told the reason and what you should do. You don't appear to be taking any of it on board.

You can't control your husband but if he is that much of a dick/that stupid then there's no point in you asking anyway.

A lot of pearl clutching. I think swearing in front of a child doesnt fall into the realms of neglect, certainly not ideal but there is a wide spectrum where it could fall, from aggressively swearing and every 2nd word is a swear word to slipping it out every once and awhile.

I once hurt myself when looking after my niece, swear word slipped out - she was about 4 at the time and spent the next hour skipping around the garden using said swear word. I think she copped my face when the word slipped out and sensed she shouldn't say it therefore making it even more exciting. She is now a very high achieving, witty and caring young woman who I'm sure occasionally swears but certainly doesnt make a habit of it.
The kids who swear like troopers in school and use it as part of their regular vocabulary are probably ones whose parents find it hilarious and are encouraged to repeat it to family and friends for a laugh.
I wouldnt punish her as it's not her fault, instead follow ohthetrees advice on stopping the behaviour, its pretty sound advice.

Pathetic. He stops swearing in front of her. You do not punish the child. If anything, don't react when she parrots. My DD only learned swear words from her useless idiot of a father. She was six. She has never repeated any. Shock horror at the age of 8 she has never, ever heard me swear. It is possible to be a parent and engage a filter that allows a child to be a child. If people swore in public around her, I quickly removed her without reacting, once she recognised the words I made a point of telling people their choice of language was unsuitable within earshot of a child. They're only little for a small amount of time. Get your priorities straight.