To End Relationship Because Partner Blocks Me?

[Merriden]

I’ll give as much information as I really need to know if I’m in the wrong.

I have 3 DC. 2 with ExH and one with current DP.

Relationship with DP is only ok as long as things are going his way.

If I ever disagree with him, he either:

a) Completely and utterly ignores me. By this I mean sit in the same room as me and ignores me.

b) If he isn’t home and we disagree (or as soon as he goes out) he blocks on his phone so I can’t communicate with him. Once this was problematic when our DS was hospitalised and I couldn’t get hold of him at all.

This blocking can and will go on for days at a time until I inevitably relent because the atmosphere at home gets vile.

Today, he is at work and has blocked all forms of communication because yet again I disagreed with him this morning over something to do with arrangements for DS’s childcare whilst I work. (DP is very vocal about where DS should be but rarely, if ever steps in to parent his own child)

AIBU to end this relationship as frankly seeing as we are both adults and his toddler strops make for a horrible atmosphere at home and I’m completely done with it. Plus I have DDS and I don’t want them thinking this is acceptable behaviour in relationships. ( Or for DS but he’s quite a bit younger to be honest.)

PS: Just saw your update. Just take time off tomorrow and organise a locksmith, even if you have to pay for an emergency callout. Keep ringing around, generally you will be able to find someone at short notice. Even if you have to pay a premium, it will be cheaper and save you so much potential grief in the long run. I just KNEW that he would be a scrounging, cock-lodging wanksock! The sheer gall of someone who contributes zero to try and lord it over you! He is a text book narcissistic abuser!

So he's a cocklodger as well as a cunt.

You could get a locksmith out tonight if you were willing to pay for it.

@Sootikinstew Great point! You might sleep better.

I'm so glad you've been wise enough to keep everything in your name.

There aren't any loans/ credit cards etc that you have jointly with him are there?

Locksmiths are used to coming out in emergencies such has burglaries so you will be able to arrange one in the morning within a few phone calls I expect.

I think you should secure your home before leaving it for the day.

Sounds like your life is going to great very soon. New job, more money, less stress and not having to worry about DP’s attitude.

Congratulations on the new job and new life.

I just KNEW that he would be a scrounging, cock-lodging wanksock!

Locksmiths are used to coming out in emergencies such has burglaries so you will be able to arrange one in the morning within a few phone calls I expect

This is a good point - you might even be able to get one out tonight.

Wow. Toxic arsehole.

Pack his things up and have them waiting for him.

I'd call out an emergency locksmith and get them changed now.

Omg hes an absolute cunt!

You sound like a strong woman who knows what you are capable of and know how damaging this will be to your kids.

When he goes out block him, leave his shit outside and change the locks .

Wow, cocklodger and abusive as well.

Go ahead and see if you can get a locksmith out this evening. It’ll be money well spent. If that isn’t possible, I’m sure you can find one tomorrow morning. Leave him an email stating when you’ll be leaving his shit outside to pick up.

To be honest, he has only ever contributed £140 a month to the household for the last four years anyway
You night end up with more through the cms!

GET THE LOCKS CHANGED NOW!!

He isn’t fair to you or your son or no doubt your other children so why would you give him another 48 hours to abuse you in your own home? Dump his shot outside, change the lock and let him sort out where he will stay. There are such things as hotels, bed and breakfast, a friend’s house, parents, lodging somewhere. None of this is your problem.

If you call round locksmiths now you might get someone out tonight or be able to book for first thing tomorrow
Or do you have a front door you can lock from the inside so it can't be opened from outside - and then you go out tomorrow using the back door?

Also see a solicitor, he’s father of your son. Will he request access visits,shared custody?

Phone an emergency locksmith and get here locks changed now. I had one out at 3am once when XH was threatening me. It did cost me but the peace of mind was so worth it. I only changed one lock on the door that needed the key to get in. I kept the key in the back door and managed to get his key for that back from him and knew that he wouldn't have thought to have had that one copied. Good luck!

Wow OP, 100% vote for YANBU.... never seen that before. Usually there is someone contrarian or charitable to the antagonist, but not a single person is willing to find excuses for your DP....

YANBU. It’s abusive behaviour.

He is definitely abusive. I think there are emergency locksmiths. It'll cost you, but sounds like a price worth paying.

I'm glad you're kicking him to the kerb but reading your posts can you see the red flags. This row wasn't about a nursery place it was about holding you back from being successful and stronger.
With hindsight he's made several moves to isolate and depreciate you, and i hope you've learned something for next time

Locks changed, guy punted and claim logged with cms

If your locks are yale then you can easily change them yourself for under £20, just do a youtube search for a tutorial.

I think you've made the right decision!

Google emergency locksmith + your area. You may well be able to get one out tonight.