To End Relationship Because Partner Blocks Me?

[Merriden]

I’ll give as much information as I really need to know if I’m in the wrong.

I have 3 DC. 2 with ExH and one with current DP.

Relationship with DP is only ok as long as things are going his way.

If I ever disagree with him, he either:

a) Completely and utterly ignores me. By this I mean sit in the same room as me and ignores me.

b) If he isn’t home and we disagree (or as soon as he goes out) he blocks on his phone so I can’t communicate with him. Once this was problematic when our DS was hospitalised and I couldn’t get hold of him at all.

This blocking can and will go on for days at a time until I inevitably relent because the atmosphere at home gets vile.

Today, he is at work and has blocked all forms of communication because yet again I disagreed with him this morning over something to do with arrangements for DS’s childcare whilst I work. (DP is very vocal about where DS should be but rarely, if ever steps in to parent his own child)

AIBU to end this relationship as frankly seeing as we are both adults and his toddler strops make for a horrible atmosphere at home and I’m completely done with it. Plus I have DDS and I don’t want them thinking this is acceptable behaviour in relationships. ( Or for DS but he’s quite a bit younger to be honest.)

Not going to disagree with anyone responding to me. I’m probably projecting what should happen in a more normal relationship and my knee jerk “that’s a bit unfair” is now more “probably serves him right”

I liked the Darwinism comment

So glad you're still moving forward and haven't had much in the way of drama from him.

It spoke volumes that your DD1 felt able to tell you she's happier now that he's gone and it shows that the home you all lived in with him was definitely toxic and affecting your DC.

That's an excellent solution that your DSIL picks up your DS and you collect him from hers. The less opportunity he has to 'run into' you, the happier life will continue to be.

Just for info, often this type of 'P' often get very angry when they realize that they've lost their cushy life and can't get it back, so watch out for stupid crap like nails in your car tyres or false 'anonymous' reports to the police, council or RSPCA, basically to anyone he can think of to 'get back' at you for dumping him.

In time he'll give up and move in on someone else.

Hi I’m a bit late to this thread but I just want to say well done OP, you’re amazing and 100% doing the right thing. He sounds like a right see you next Tuesday 💐

Just seen this thread. Bloody hell. A man who blocks his pregnant partner and misses the birth due to a toddler-style strop.

These threads normally make me very sad. But not this one. It's a very happy thread- you sound marvellous OP!

Well done OP! Have you heard anymore from him?

Well done OP. I must say a broad smile spread across my face when you said you were the main earner and the house was yours. The guy was a fucking idiot.

Just wanted to say you sound totally amazing and your kids are lucky to have you ❤

You are just amazing OP!

You are doing the absolute best for your children and yourself. I hope you have a lovely quiet weekend.

I am so so proud of you OP! Just checked back in after seeing your first few posts yesterday and you’re bloody incredible!

DP made yet another threat that he will have our son and that if I go for maintenance he will quot his job so again, like so many have said, it’s probably just empty threats in an attempt to manipulate me

I had months of abuse from my ex when we separated and even more when I applied for CMS. I stayed strong and it took a while but now he pays the full amount without complaint and only bothers with the kids approximately once a month, he takes them to his for a night, sometimes two. He’s never been to a play or parents evening, a sporting event or an appointment, they don’t even have clothes etc at his house they always need to pack a bag. They’ve started to not want to go anymore (they’re early-mid teens) and I don’t intend to force them. They don’t have a lot of good to say about him even though I’ve always kept my thoughts to myself, which is sad but all he ever really wanted was control over me and wasn’t much arsed about the kids when we were together or afterwards. I suspect your useless lump will be much the same. You can do this!

@Tellmetruth4 same here!

Hi OP, just want to keep in touch to say you are wonderful and I am so delighted that all is calm for you. Keep enjoying your lovely life with your DC and come on here when you feel the need for a hug.

Hope the indian takeaway was nice OP 😊

Congrats on taking back control, pat yourself on the back for being brave. It was the best thing you could’ve done, for both you and your children.
Hope it’s all still going well, wishing you a peaceful and successful future.

So impressed! Well done getting rid 👍🏻

How's things op? @Merriden

Thank you all so much for the lovely messages! They have kept me so strong and feeling positive.

I’m currently having a quick break from decorating my bedroom. I decided that to signify my new start, I need a new bedroom so I’m painting it a dusky pink whilst DS naps.

I know it’s only been 4 days since I kicked out DP but I feel like a new woman! The atmosphere in the house just feels so much lighter and happier. I wish I’d done it years ago to be honest.

I was mentally prepared for ex-DP to try to contact me to either be abusive or ask for contact with DS but he’s done neither. That said he’s a lazy sod so I can’t say I’m surprised that he’s done nothing.

Tomorrow, I will be letting DDs school know what has happened just in case Ex-DP tries anything. He isn’t their dad so easier to stop him, but I wouldn’t put it past him to make a scene.

DB has said that ex-DP has yet to collect his stuff so he has emailed him (we’re all using email and have blocked him from our phones so that there is a paper trail if needed) to say he has until the end of the month. DB is kinder than me. I gave him until the end of the weekend to collect his stuff from DB’s house, and if not, it’d be finding its way to the charity shops.

If it’s not collected, DB said he’ll organise selling some of it so that I can use the proceeds to have a girls mini-break with DSIL. I think I deserve it!

So happy to read your update! You’re a free woman, enjoy each and every moment. Your kids will thank you for this one day

Enjoy, and best of luck with everything!

Yay!, I’m so happy for you OP! I love to hear how women are getting on after the abuser has left. I’m so happy to hear you are blossoming now he’s gone. I hope this inspires other women in horrible relationships! Onwards and upwards OP! 💐

He's a wanker and you know it. You sound strong and independent and you know you shouldn't be putting up with that.

I’ll be raising a glass to you today OP...

Didn't rtft haha - well done!

lighter and happier
It's the contrast that makes you realise how they operate, keeping up that low-level but constant pressure, that glowering angry presence

You have been housing and supporting a “man child”. No wonder he behaves like a toddler. He resents your obvious superiority. He sulks and stonewalls because in any contest with you he would lose as he is not your equal. Get rid of this total loser that deserves to be shown the door. Men like this are everywhere and it happens all the time.........
An afterthought: What are they actually for?

Enjoy your symbolic bedroom decorating!!!

Well done. This thread will inspire others.