To expect a thank you/acknowledgement for a card

[Crustacean7]

On two occasions when I've sent cards to different friends, they've never even acknowledged it or said thank you. AIBU to find this really rude?

The first card I sent to a friend overseas to congratulate her on her engagement and was worried it had got lost in the post. I waited a few months to ask if she'd received it, as didn't want want to pester her. She replied to my message saying it had been received and thanks. Same thing happened with another friend where I sent a card to congratulate her on her new house. No acknowledgement so followed up on it after a few months.

Isn't it polite to acknowledge the effort I've gone to? Anyone else found the same?

*So before mobiles and texting, you would ring every single person who sent you a Christmas card and would expect everyone you'd sent a Christmas card to, to ring you too"
It doesn't have to an immediate automated response.

I'd expect a btw, thanks for the card, it was above/fun/appropriate one the next time we happen to talk in the phone or meet up.

Of course it's usual, polite & friendly to send a text to acknowledge a card

As I have spent part of my adult life without access to texts, I disagree.

I'm with you OP they should 100% acknowledge and thank you for sending a card

This is definitely a young persons response. How do you think people used to communicate... er, by post! Thank you for the thank you card thanking me for the thank you card thanking me for my birthday card.

This of course does not apply to gifts, which should most certainly be acknowledged and thanked.

If they don't say thank you, then you dont know if it arrived? Surely a text or a call to acknowledge receipt is in order?

@WinterAndRoughWeather

Before text messages we used a land-line telephone. I rang everyone to thank them. I was a child. I did say for presents. I didn't get cards as a child.

Obviously in the era of text messages I now text.

How absolutely bizarre.
This will blow your mind OP
I dont send cards at Christmas and we dont do birthday cards in the family.
Complete waste of money and resources.

You are making it all about you

Oh! I had a friend who did that. She'd send a card, maybe to say thank you for a lunch out and then sulk because I didn't say thank you for the thank you.

I finally exed her when she got bolshy over a card she sent when MIL died. Apparently I was supposed to verbally appreciate her having thought of us at such a fucking horrible time (MIL took her own life).

My best advice? Stop sending cards.

@LyndaSnellsSniff

My Aunty will call to say she’s sent a card and ask me to call when it arrives. If she’s out I leave a message to say it’s arrived, then she’ll call back to say she got the message. If I’m out she’ll leave a message asking me to call to confirm she got the message about the message about the card.

Sometimes it lasts for months.

Oh yes my mil does this ... I'd rather she didn't send anything , it feels very needy wanting to be acknowledged.

@Crustacean7 yes I agree! It's amazing how some things you think are normal are so bizarre to other people! I remember a thread about going to the hairdressers and people commenting how they always wear their scruffy clothes to go and get their hair done. As an ex hairdresser I found that completely weird!!

It's takes all sorts!

@MidnightCitrus

If they don't say thank you, then you dont know if it arrived? Surely a text or a call to acknowledge receipt is in order?

Do you contact you bank, or your utilities provider everytime you get mail from them so they know it arrived?

Truly bonkers

I think it’s rude. How hard is it to message/text just to say thank you.

I don't like cards most of the time. If I have an obligation afterwards, even more so. I agree younger people may respond more. We didn't respond to a card in the olden days, because the response was ... Another card. Presents are different. And mail almost always gets to its recipient.