To expect a thank you/acknowledgement for a card

[Crustacean7]

On two occasions when I've sent cards to different friends, they've never even acknowledged it or said thank you. AIBU to find this really rude?

The first card I sent to a friend overseas to congratulate her on her engagement and was worried it had got lost in the post. I waited a few months to ask if she'd received it, as didn't want want to pester her. She replied to my message saying it had been received and thanks. Same thing happened with another friend where I sent a card to congratulate her on her new house. No acknowledgement so followed up on it after a few months.

Isn't it polite to acknowledge the effort I've gone to? Anyone else found the same?

Present: send a thank you card.

Letter: send a return letter. Not necesarily immediately (I have some friends where we only write every few months).

Card with no present: nothing.

I don't think it's particularly polite to EXPECT thanks for a card but you seem to think by doing so you are being more polite than others OP?

It’s not necessary but I do - mainly because I like to tell recipient I’ve received it.

Was just going to type exactly what Fink above has said.

No need to thank for a card unless it contains a gift or is very clearly handmade with extra effort.
Are super popular people expected to contact 50+ people for all their birthday cards? 🤔

[quote Crustacean7]@schrodingersImmigrant Sending a card to someone overseas is a bit of an effort though. Having to travel to a post office and pay extra, etc.[/quote]
Don't you have to go to the post office to post a card to somebody who lives somewhere else in the UK? And is it more effort to hand over £1.50 instead of 65p or whatever it is to post things these days?!

It's nice to get an acknowledgement but wouldn't expect one for a card. I would appreciate a message for a present sent overseas though, not for the thanks, but just to know it's arrived.

I have never thanked anyone for a card unless they called me (for example on my birthday) when I would thank them. But I would not do it otherwise.

Sending a card to someone overseas is a bit of an effort though. Having to travel to a post office and pay extra, etc-

If it's a hassle then don't bother sending cards?

I consider myself very polite and I'd usually send a message to say thanks for the card but I would not consider it 'very rude' not too. As you can see by this thread plenty of people think it's ok not to say thanks for a card. If I suspected someone found it a bother to send a card and then expected a thank you I wouldn't want them to send me cards 🤷🏻‍♀️

A relative fell out with me and only months later I discovered it was because I didn't acknowledge the fact that she'd sent me a wedding anniversary card. I thought that was weird and funny in equal measure.

@LittleMissRedHat No, I wouldn't normally have to go to a post office to send a card within the UK because I keep a book of stamps in my purse. I don't live near a post office, so actually have to drive there to send anything international.

Oh how I wish the Brits would stop with their cards! I don't feel very thankful when I receive one and wouldn't neccesarily text to say thanks. It's just one more thing I have to recycle (unless they have sparkly bits on them, then I can't even recycle them) and quite frankly the world needs less wasted paper.

Also, buying a card and then ship it overseas for someones engagement seems very OTT. Just send them a text or email next time. Especially if you want your effort (which they never asked for) to be acknowledged.

[quote Crustacean7]@schrodingersImmigrant Sending a card to someone overseas is a bit of an effort though. Having to travel to a post office and pay extra, etc.[/quote]
Nah. Sorry😁 I do it regularly and it's not really what I would consider a notable effort. Order online next time to save you going to a post office

It's not normal to thank everyone who sends you a card for everything, no - unless it contains a voucher or money, in which case of course you should get an acknowledgement and a thank you.

I'd be touched if someone thanked me for the card I'd sent, but I wouldn't be bothered if they didn't!

Oh how I wish the Brits would stop with their cards!

I find the card obsession adorable and fascinating.

I am reminded of the sketches where one man bows to the other, the second bows to the first, the first bows to the second and so it goes on. Would you send a thank you for the thank you for the card???

I always say thank you if someone has taken the trouble to send me a card, it’s just good manners. I think it’s quite rude to not acknowledge it and let the sender know it’s been received, it takes two seconds to send a text saying thank you or when you next see them in person

Is this a joke?

Do you thank people for sending Christmas cards and Birthday cards too?

MN has reached a new level of batshittery!

@Tara336 Exactly!

[quote Crustacean7]@LittleMissRedHat No, I wouldn't normally have to go to a post office to send a card within the UK because I keep a book of stamps in my purse. I don't live near a post office, so actually have to drive there to send anything international.[/quote]
Perhaps try Moonpig then you won't even have to get up off the sofa! Even less effort than going to the post box!

I think it’s quite rude to not acknowledge it and let the sender know it’s been received

But do you also agree that pointing out their rudeness is the polite thing to do?

*agree with the OP, I mean - not with me!

You could equally argue that it's bad manners to chase up your thank you.

You're doing that really irritating thing op, when 80% of posters disagree with you, rather than any self reflection to consider you might be being uptight; it's all dismissive of posters who don't have the superior manners you have.

I've never heard of it being standard to send a thank you text for a card - particularly an engagement card where presumably the recipient will have received a fair number.

If I'm sent a card from abroad, I'd generally acknowledge it, but it's not bad manners not to.

Personally if I'm expected to say thank you for cards, I'd simply rather not receive them. I get it only takes a few seconds per card etc. etc. but it then becomes a burden rather than a delight. Plus I bet people aren't expecting men to acknowledge card receipt, it's generally females that are expected to perform this relationship labour.

@Crustacean7

Wow, I'm really surprised by these responses. I always just thought it was good manners to send a message to say it's been received and thanks. Maybe I'm the weird one then!

I think I must be old fashioned then, OP because I always say thank you to the person who's been kind enough to think of me on my birthday, or if I've been ill, or at Christmas etc and gone to the trouble of buying a card they might think I'd like, writing a nice message and then paying for postage and then posting it in time so it arrives on my doorstep in good time. It's likely to be a WhatsApp or text message I send, but I think it's good manners for me to thank someone for being thoughtful. 🌹

I'm with you OP they should 100% acknowledge and thank you for sending a card.

Otherwise I'm always wondering if they got it?

I wouldn't expect anything.

It turns card receiving into a burden.

It also makes a 'thinking of you' experience into 'im making you pay attention to me experience' .