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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my mother lied

151 replies

sensiblesometimes · 02/09/2020 02:39

I'm wai ting for a letter to tell me about a premium bond win that my mother 'neglected ' to tell me about 30 years ago . She let it slip in a conversation then instantly denied she had said it, i think she spent it on holidays and my brother! Im very hurt and upset

OP posts:
AJGranny · 02/09/2020 02:41

Ooo that's really sly.

Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 02:54

Was it your bond ? If so how did someone else cash it

sensiblesometimes · 02/09/2020 03:01

#Anordinarymum

I've no idea but I've definitely won as they are sending a list of wins wouldn't tell me over the phone,

OP posts:
toiletpaper · 02/09/2020 03:03

I have premium bonds - not much but purely because I'm bad at having savings in an easy access account - and when I looked at some for my kids recently I'm sure it said something about the parents/account opener looking after for the child. Is this how she had your PB winnings?

sensiblesometimes · 02/09/2020 03:07

I've no idea but i will find out when the letter arrives , im so upset . not sure how to handle this

OP posts:
Diddumz · 02/09/2020 03:08

God, that's shocking...

Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 03:09

were the bonds in your name? Do you have them now ?

sensiblesometimes · 02/09/2020 03:13

yes in my name but her (mother) address for the last 30 years so all winning cheques would have gone to her

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 03:15

I am confused as to how she could cash cheques in your name.

I had premium bonds for my children. The wins went back into bonds. I could not have cashed them in even if they were paid out ??

Catsup · 02/09/2020 03:26

To be fair unless there was a big win it's probably been a couple of £30-50 payouts max over the 30yrs. Definately not enough to pay for holidays and so forth. It's like the lottery and unless the initial bonds were a pretty high amount the returns would likely be paltry.

Elsewyre · 02/09/2020 03:27

30 years ago?

Can you really be arsed about it?

Anordinarymum · 02/09/2020 03:30

30 years of wins is not small potatoes. My children had several wins and still do. My son wins just about every month

Elsewyre · 02/09/2020 04:34

@Anordinarymum

30 years of wins is not small potatoes. My children had several wins and still do. My son wins just about every month
OP says it wa sc one win she "neglected" to tell her about 30 years ago.
Igotthemheavyboobs · 02/09/2020 04:51

@Anordinarymum

30 years of wins is not small potatoes. My children had several wins and still do. My son wins just about every month
I've never won and I have had my bonds for 30 years.

OP how was she cashing a cheque in your name?

Catsup · 02/09/2020 05:37

I think parents/guardian are able to control children's premium bonds up until the age of 16? So that's probably how she claimed anything paid out? Sibling had £150 of bonds as a christening gift 40yrs ago that have paid out £90 ish since. So I'd say unless OP was extremely lucky (or not so in this case), the chances are their mum cashed in £25 or less.

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 02/09/2020 06:01

why dont you let it rest?
surely you went on the holidays too?

roseyroserose · 02/09/2020 06:14

Is it that big a deal? The amount of money, love, time and sleepless nights your mum has probably spent on you far outweighs a bit of a win on a premium bond.
Is it really worth the argument/fall out.
Just laugh it off

Newnamenewopenme · 02/09/2020 06:18

Hope it gets sorted OP! Not sure why others seem to think you are in the wrong, it it’s your money it shouldn’t be kept secret regardless of how much it is.

TellerTuesday4EVA · 02/09/2020 06:22

DD has some premium bonds that she got when she was born, the cheques always come made out to me even though the bonds are in her name.... presume it changes at 16/18?

It's a faff really as it means I have to pay them into my account and wait for then to clear before transferring it to her own account.

DianaT1969 · 02/09/2020 06:27

Were you a child when you won 30 years ago?
Who put the money into premium bonds for you?
Think of all the money parents spend on their children. Would you really begrudge some cash going towards a family holiday?
Why didn't you bother to update the address or check wins before this?
It really isn't worth falling out over.
I'm guessing from your tone that you don't get on with your mum anyway.

MJMG2015 · 02/09/2020 06:28

Did she 'let it slip' how much it was?

FatCatThinCat · 02/09/2020 06:39

I guess it depends on how much the win was. A small amount used for family treats for everyone is one thing, a big win is something else. Wait until you get the details and then decide how to proceed.

BikeRunSki · 02/09/2020 06:56

Parents have control if children’s Premium bonds until they are 16. YY can choose to have the winnings reinvested or paid into a nominated bank account (presumably the modern equivalent of them sending a cheque).if the OP was under 16 when she had the win, it is quite possible that her mother could have used the winnings.

OP, wait and see what your mum says, but I’d be annoyed too.

FWIW - my DCs’ savings accounts paid for new carpets a few years ago, but I have repaid them.

speakout · 02/09/2020 07:00

How old were you 30 years ago OP?
How have you just found out about this?

Corono · 02/09/2020 07:01

How did you discover this?

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