my mother lied

[sensiblesometimes]

I'm wai ting for a letter to tell me about a premium bond win that my mother 'neglected ' to tell me about 30 years ago . She let it slip in a conversation then instantly denied she had said it, i think she spent it on holidays and my brother! Im very hurt and upset

That’s shit OP, sorry

In the good old days you could transfer ownership of a cheque by signing the back, Tapping.

This has made me wonder about my mother's win umpteen years ago (I'll have been about 14). I can recall clearly it was £5,000 - you could buy a decent house for £5,000 then. However she spent it on whatever.

But reading this thread I realised that she didn't have any premium bonds. We kids did - we got them for birthdays, etc, but she didn't. I wonder which of us had won? We will never know.

I got a school coat that I hated out of it - I can remember that.

I have five £1 premium bonds! They are 55 years old bought by my mum when I was a toddler. Never won a penny as far as I know. I remember, as a child, listening every week to the radio hoping to hear my numbers.

Op if you have had a good relationship with your mum all these years don't let money come between you now. Hopefully it wasn't a huge amount.

If you were under 16 when the win happened, the cheque would be made out to the adult controlling the account. My dc win multiple times a year and the cheques come made out to me. I have to pay them in to my bank and then transfer the money to their savings, but that is my choice to do so, I could keep the money in my account if I wished. So that’s how she ‘got’ the winnings. Nothing illegal but morally perhaps a bit shaky ground.

The issue here is the deceit and the relationship with her favouring your brother over you. Unfortunately that’s something you’re going to need to address separately to some, likely small, monetary gain from premium bonds. Once you get the information through, what difference will it make? If it’s £50, if it’s £5000. The relationship is damaged regardless.

I think you need to consider ways forward in your relationship with her, regardless of the money issue.

@alreadytaken

Who bought the premium bond? If your mother paid for it you really have no complaint at all. Should your mother bill you for a minimum of 16 years upbringing? If someone else bought it and it was spent on taking you on holiday would you rather not have gone?

FWIW I reinvested the £25 my kid won on the bond I paid for - but it was my investment and if I'd needed the cash for their upbringing I'd have spent it.

Then surely the bonds aren't a gift at all? Instead, the mother is investing her own money, for her own benefit, but just using the chld's name to do so, which seems pointless. Why not just do it under her own name? More importantly, why then lie about it? If it's all so fair and above board, why the deceit?

Don’t follow this. Did ,other win the £1m prize 30 years ago? Or just the £10 one?

Can'T you win up to a million on premium bonds? If so, it very well might be worth falling out over if the money was spent on the OP's sibling and multiple holidays for the mum even though it was the OP's million pounds!

does your brother know?

Who bought the premium bond? If your mother paid for it you really have no complaint at all. Should your mother bill you for a minimum of 16 years upbringing? If someone else bought it and it was spent on taking you on holiday would you rather not have gone?

I agree, if the mother bought it then it’s hers even if she’s put it in a child’s name. It’s still hers until she decides to give it as a gift to said child.

If it was a gift from a friend or relative then no she shouldn’t of spent it but to be honest it was 30 years ago... if you have a good relationship with your mum why are you even bothered.

did she go on holiday without you, or did she and your brother go away?

Tell your mum you've spoken to them and they are sending a letter with all your wins over the years. Ask if she's got anything to tell you before it arrives.

I hope you're wrong.

@Chickenitalia

If you were under 16 when the win happened, the cheque would be made out to the adult controlling the account. My dc win multiple times a year and the cheques come made out to me. I have to pay them in to my bank and then transfer the money to their savings, but that is my choice to do so, I could keep the money in my account if I wished. So that’s how she ‘got’ the winnings. Nothing illegal but morally perhaps a bit shaky ground.

The issue here is the deceit and the relationship with her favouring your brother over you. Unfortunately that’s something you’re going to need to address separately to some, likely small, monetary gain from premium bonds. Once you get the information through, what difference will it make? If it’s £50, if it’s £5000. The relationship is damaged regardless.

I think you need to consider ways forward in your relationship with her, regardless of the money issue.

This. Your mother didn’t do anything illegal. Perhaps look why she took the money. If she was on a low income or a single parent, maybe she used it to make your and your siblings lives better.

Wow. My granny bought us some but we've never won afaik. Never heard a peep about any of them. Is that unusual? She bought some for all three of us about fifty years ago!

Parents are in control of the bonds until the child is 16. I think it's okay for them to spend the winnings on a family holiday. Who bought you the bonds in the first place. Consider you have three children and have bought each an equal amount of bonds. One bond gets lucky and wins 1000000. While the children are under 16, would you consider it fair for the winning child to keep there 1000000 all to itself. In that scenario, I would want to divide the winning amongst the kids and even keep some for family, e.g house improvement.

TwoFlatWhitesToWakeUp the only reason to buy bonds in a child's name if you intend them for yourself is to commit financial/ tax fraud - there's a mayimum allowance for personal premium bonds as they're tax free savings - what possible reason could there be for buying something you intend for yourself in your child's name except to get around the rules and dodge tax? Morally shady to say the least to buy bonds in your child's name instead of your own but retain them and winnings for yourself.

My parents cashed out mine and my brothers premium bonds to pay the mortgage when they were particularly skint. Always felt a bit annoyed as I'm one of 8 kids and they didn't spend the other kids, and as the eldest my brother and I didn't get to go on any of the holidays etc that my siblings did as my parents financial situation improved as we all got older. Would I fall out with my parents because of it? Nope. They did what they had to do to survive, I had a good childhood.

Sorry TwoFlatWhitesToWakeUp that wasn't meant to be addressed to you!

all the posters who think it's ok to take money from your child because they spent money raising you.....I have never understood this argument at all. Parents choose to have their children, nobody is ignorant to the fact that children cost money, you don't have children with the intention of them paying you back when they get older! If you put something in your childs name then it is with the intention of giving that to your child when they are old enough, otherwise it is purely tax evasion because you know it's a tax free saving.

Yes sometimes circumstances change like needing to pay a mortgage, in which case you are doing it to keep a roof over your childs head and is actually understandable - but spending said money on a sibling? Or using it to go on holiday? That is wrong in my opinion, I view that as stealing from your child.

To those younger mumsnetters asking about how she managed to cash a cheque in her daughters name - 30 years ago you could pay someone else's cheque into your account provided they signed the back of the cheque. If the OP didn't sign the back of the cheque I'm assuming either the cheque was made payable to the parent or the parent forged the OPs signature on the back of the cheque.

OP - how old were you 30 years ago?

I'm astounded by the number of people on this thread who condone theft from a child just because they are a child. Who else's money do you feel entitled to?

It would never have occurred to me to keep any money my children won.

How do you find out if you have had wins in the past?

That's upsetting OP. I wonder did your brother know? Is he older or younger?

To all those who have had prize bonds for a long time (50years!!) and never had a win as far as they know?? get your bonds and have your address updated!

30 years ago you could sign the back of a cheque so it could be paid into another account. How times have changed
Only the payee would have been able to do this and surely only if the Cheque wasn't crossed? In this instance the payee would be the OP as she stated they were in her name but with her mother's address.

@Magissa

I have five £1 premium bonds! They are 55 years old bought by my mum when I was a toddler. Never won a penny as far as I know. I remember, as a child, listening every week to the radio hoping to hear my numbers. Op if you have had a good relationship with your mum all these years don't let money come between you now. Hopefully it wasn't a huge amount.

Same experience here. You will have had 55x12x5 chances to win a prize. If you compare that number to the table of chances of winning published by National Savings & Investments then you can see how bad a small investment in Premium Bonds can be. To get a regular monthly win of even the smallest prize then you will need to invest close to the maximum allowed (£40k or £50k, I think). If you do manage to win regularly it will probably be better than current rates in easy access savings accounts.