To be considerably pissed off that somebody has just phoned me at midnight to ask for a telephone number..

[Carbonarawprawns]

Extended family member who isn't very tech savvy has just phoned me after midnight to ask me to send her - her mobile number - because she 'needs' it.

"Hiya sorry to call you so late I know you're sleeping but I really need my mobile number, can you text it to me by the morning"

I just hung up.

I already sent it to her last week at her request now she's lost it again and thinks midnight is an appropriate time to fuck about and ring my phone for trivial things such as this.

I co-sleep with my youngest (1 year) and for that reason have all notifications on silent except for calls because you know, emergencies.

I'm now awake and pissed off.

If you were me would you address this firmly tomorrow or just let it go? She has form for CFery..

@giantangryrooster

Just call her at 5 and give her a wrong number.

Brilliant!

I'd make her a doctor's appt to be honest, that's not normal behaviour for someone in their early fifties that's lived with mobile communications for 30 odd years.

I am an absolute shithead when my sleep is interrupted by anything other than my own child or an actual emergency and I would send her the wrong fucking number.

It also really annoys me that dementia is the first question when someone is being a twat.

When people suggest dementia/SN/anxiety, etc, I always assume it's because they have experience of people with whatever condition they've suggested and they're offering a possible charitable explanation which might be outside of an OP's current realm of experience.

Only on Mumsnet would someone behaving like a selfish arse be justified by the possibility of dementia.

The op said she's not tech savvy, and this is the second time she's asked for this information though the first time at a ridiculous time of night. She also has form for being a CF.

Yanbu

I would wait till you are calm then phone and ask her to write it down and put it somewhere safe. Stick it on the fridge and save it in her phone.

Then tell her under no circumstances does she phone you at that time again unless it's a genuine emergency.

I'd be unimpressed too but then my phone is always on silent so wouldn't have woken me up

No help to you this time, but you can set which numbers are able to phone you between set hours.
I have mine as between 10pm and 6:50am, only my DH, mum, sister and best friend can call me.

I have myself as a contact so I can have my number at my fingertips so suggest she does that. Why couldn't she just look at the text you last sent with her number? ....., just realised you might not have texted it, but if you text it this time then it'll be on her phone and she can look it up herself next time.

Silly woman.

She definitely doesn't have dementia and doesn't drink alcohol so wasn't drunk.

The reason she called me rather than anybody else is because she's long since decided I'm the best person to ask when she wants to know (or do) something to do with her phone or computer.

She has had both mobile phones and computers for at least a decade and has conveniently (for her) never learned how to do anything on them apart from the bare minimum which to her is opening up emails and sending replies.

Whenever she'd invite me round for dinner you can bet your bottom dollar she will be asking me to have a look at her phone or computer whilst there.

I'm not a specialist, just an everyday person who could be arsed to familiarise myself with the basics of technology that I'm using. Due to the fact I'm in my mid 20's I simply must be clued up with technology, in her mind.

To the person who said I'm lucky that this is all I have to get angry about, far from it. We've all got our own stuff going on but I can see from the poll and replies that I'm not alone in thinking this was out of order.

I do suffer from insomnia and take a herbal remedy to help me get to sleep, if I'm disturbed and the effects of that has worn off then it impacts the next day.

My DM has some health problems so if I were to get a call in the middle of the night my first thought would be that something has happened to her.

I've now blocked this relative from being able to get through after a certain time but she called me on withheld so I'm not sure that'll be effective.

There was no emergency on her end that meant she desperately needed the number.

Why on earth do people on here think everyone either has dementia or that they have autism?

The overwhelming majority of the time people just have selfish moments.

Set her ringtone to silent op, you have every right to be pissed off.

If she's tech savvy enough to phone on Withheld Number, she's smart enough to work out her own phone number,

Strikes me that it's performance ineptitude to gain attention.

Poor you. Hope you managed to get a good night's sleep.

I'd absolutely call her out on it.

"You do realise I have my phone on for GENUINE emergencies? And that was certainly not one. I don't want to fall out about this but a call that late at night usually means very bad news and I'm actually really pissed off that you can't be bothered to learn a mobile number and think it's ok to call me at midnight. Don't do it again"

If you sent it to her last week she'd still have it in her phone anyway surely?
Yadnbu I'd be furious too!

Tell her from me she's pathetic and should be embarrassedp. I work in tech (and am a similar age incidentally) and work with a number of people in their 50s and 60s. Even the dumbest of the dumb people at my kids schools who "didn't understand email" or " my husband deals with all that" 10 years ago now have iPhones and use WhatsApp, Facebook, text messages all the time. Tell her to get a bloody grip. My 78 year old mother, who had never even written a cheque 15 years ago when she was suddenly widowed can now use a mobile phone and knows her own number, because I wrote it on the box for her the day she got it.

I would actually not send her the number and I would not answer any calls from them either.

Very, very rude of her!

The other thing I may do if I could be bothered would be to ring her at a ridiculous time, like 2am and call until she answered and say that given the time she rang you thought it must be an emergency so you wanted to call back right away, I would apologise along the lines of "I am so sorry, I was asleep and because I didn't wake up properly I accidently hung up but I just woke up and realised what I had done"

Then tell them when they scramble around trying to explain why for a non emergency they called at that time that only emergency calls should be made after 9.

Put your phone on DND and only allow parents and dp calls.

For now, send it and tell her not to call so late again.

I’d be annoyed too.

I know for sure that she wouldn't do this with certain other family members, her sisters for example she absolutely knows she wouldn't get away with ringing at that hour. It's a lack of respect for me and nothing else.

My partner who works away is routinely up at 4:00am and he has joked this morning that he could ring her up at that hour and see how she likes it.

Only on Mumsnet would someone behaving like a selfish arse be justified by the possibility of dementia.

I doubt it- being impacted by other people's dementia is not exclusive to MN users. If you hear of someone behaving in a certain way and it reminds you of behaviour exhibited by someone you know who turned out to have a condition like dementia, wouldn't you raise it as a possibility to be excluded? My nana had dementia, if someone here started a thread about some of the behaviours she exhibited in the early days of her illness I might well feel it was worth suggesting getting dementia ruled out. A behaviour isn't excused by explaining it.

She's in her 50s?! This will only get worse. She sounds incredibly lazy.

I would start letting her messages go to answerphone and stop replying.

My Mum rang at midnight the other week about her laptop. She is in her 80s and losing the plot slightly. Even then, I was very annoyed with her.

Tell her to pack it in.

I never take my mobile upstairs. I have a landline by the bed which is only used by family at night if someone is almost dying which is a reasonable compromise.

Just nicely tell her not to call after 9pm next time.

She withheld her number so she must have known she was being selfish and unreasonable. Are you going to say anything to her op?

I doubt it- being impacted by other people's dementia is not exclusive to MN users. If you hear of someone behaving in a certain way and it reminds you of behaviour exhibited by someone you know who turned out to have a condition like dementia, wouldn't you raise it as a possibility to be excluded

My father died of dementia but I dont assume every arsey behaviour is down to dementia. I could understand it if OP had said in her post that this person was say, 90 years old, but she didnt, she didnt specify her age so why immediately jump to dementia when she could be 35 years old?

Now, if OP had said this person was confused, forgetful and was also ringing her at unsociable hours then maybe the suggestion would be valid. But thats the thing, people jump instantly to dementia with literally no other information. Eg "someone in the queue at tescos told me to fck off!:"- "be kind- maybe they have dementia" etc

I get the saying now: "A little information is a dangerous thing".

The last few times she has called me her number has been on withheld, she can't explain why when asked.

She has a new phone so I assume she's toggled something in the settings and not realised, it's definitely not deliberate (but calling at midnight is)

I'm going to say something yes. I'll send a text shortly.

call her every hour on the hour overnight and just hang up...