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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considerably pissed off that somebody has just phoned me at midnight to ask for a telephone number..

156 replies

Carbonarawprawns · 02/09/2020 00:21

Extended family member who isn't very tech savvy has just phoned me after midnight to ask me to send her - her mobile number - because she 'needs' it.

"Hiya sorry to call you so late I know you're sleeping but I really need my mobile number, can you text it to me by the morning"

I just hung up.

I already sent it to her last week at her request now she's lost it again and thinks midnight is an appropriate time to fuck about and ring my phone for trivial things such as this.

I co-sleep with my youngest (1 year) and for that reason have all notifications on silent except for calls because you know, emergencies.

I'm now awake and pissed off.

If you were me would you address this firmly tomorrow or just let it go? She has form for CFery..

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 02/09/2020 08:11

How can someone in their 50s be that bad at this stuff. My neighbour is in his 80s and is better than this!

FippertyGibbett · 02/09/2020 08:17

I would be absolutely furious.
If she does it again I’d bar her.

PickAChew · 02/09/2020 08:17

In her 50s my first thought wouldn't be dementia, it would be drunk.

FromTheAllotment · 02/09/2020 08:18

I’d want to point out that surely there’s no point texting her her number. I mean if she can’t find the last text, how will she find this one???

Failing that, wait and do nothing, then when she asks, say you have texted her. Couldn’t she find it? It was probably next to the last one.... Wink

Thecobwebsarewinning · 02/09/2020 08:18

I would be fuming too. I wouldn’t have been able to drift off again after being woken at midnight. I have my phone on silent between 10.30 and 8 in the morning and people can only get through if they call twice in 30 seconds. The only time this has ever happened was when my FIL has a stroke - a proper emergency.

I hope you didn’t answer the selfish, inconsiderate bitch.

squirrelsbizaar · 02/09/2020 08:21

I’m curious to know why she is singling you out for the phone calls, does she think you are awake ( are you normally a bit of a night owl) and she is just feeling a bit lonely, has she had recent changes in her family - divorce, kids leaving home ?
It’s extremely odd for someone to phone that late twice for a phone number.
If she’s got form for generally being inconsiderate and selfish, then clearly explain that it’s not acceptable and you won’t be taking anymore calls from her.
You still need to explain to her, but perhaps you could try to establish the real reasons for the late night calls before ‘putting her straight’.

5foot5 · 02/09/2020 08:23

I wish I lived in a world where I did not have to fear middle of the night emergency calls!

This is a very good point. Having had an elderly, frail Mum and now elderly, frail PILs I am afraid that a call at that time of night would instantly have my heart pounding and expecting the worst.

So inconsiderate.

WhereDoesThisToiletGo · 02/09/2020 08:23

I've just checked and can't find my number anywhere on /in my phone.
However I do know my number off by heart as I am an adult

CodenameVillanelle · 02/09/2020 08:24

@Polnm

I thin you lost the moral high ground by then going onto MN rather than back to sleep
Don't be ridiculous. Do you understand what insomnia is??
SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 08:24

@giantangryrooster

Just call her at 5 and give her a wrong number.
I hope you did this OP

What an inconsiderate, selfish *rsehole she is.

What sort of emergency could involve her needing her number at that very moment? Tell her to write it on the mirror in lipstick so she doesn't lose it again

MollyButton · 02/09/2020 08:24

I'm in my 50s, and most in my bookgroup are quite a bit older (I am the baby), and all of them are "tech savy" enough to deal with this kind of thing.

As to the telephone - the landline by my bed is set to "nighttime mode' so is silent at night, if not I'd unplug it if this kind of thing was going to happen. My mobile also is silent overnight.
It is extremely unlikely that someone needs to contact you overnight - so don't take the risk.
And she sounds ridiculously demanding - teach her how to do a quick internet search such as "how do I find my mobile number".

And actually next time I would send the ranty text - let her learn the consequences!

PaternosterLoft · 02/09/2020 08:25

My DH is in his fifties and doesnt know his mobile phone number - but he's not a knobhead and so has it written on a sticker on the back of his phone. which only adds to the amusement value when he's on the phone and someone asks for his number because he doesn't know how to turn speaker phone on either

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 08:26

@BoomBoomsCousin

But the respect you received is a that you are a dependable person in a time of need.

You’ve confused “dependable person” and “doormat”.

You beat me to it.
TroysMammy · 02/09/2020 08:30

Tell her to write her number on a bit of paper and sellotape it to the back of her phone.

It also really annoys me that dementia is the first question when someone is being a twat.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 02/09/2020 08:32

Call her at 4am with the number! Then say, sorry but i just found it and thought you needed it urgently

AriettyHomily · 02/09/2020 08:32

Put on DNDand set the numbers you want to allow through, I also set mine to let anyone through if they call more than 3 times

Whyareblokesonhere · 02/09/2020 08:34

Tell us her name and number and we can all text her, just to be sure she has it

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/09/2020 08:34

It also really annoys me that dementia is the first question when someone is being a twat.

Same here.

Yes, it's a possibility - so is winning the lottery.

However, it is unlikely.

AGoatAteIt · 02/09/2020 08:34

@giantangryrooster

Just call her at 5 and give her a wrong number.
Definitely do this!
islockdownoveryet · 02/09/2020 08:37

It pisses me off that anyone would contact me for anything trivial.
It actually annoys me that people will even message to say what time is such and such for example when it was on the last message I sent . Ffs
I'd just do the same put phone down and I'd have it on silent even phone calls .
You could address it but to be honest If they are that selfish to ring late at night for something so trivial they won't care .

Burnthurst187 · 02/09/2020 08:40

This is why my phone goes on aeroplane mode

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 02/09/2020 08:46

It also really annoys me that dementia is the first question when someone is being a twat

Urgh yes, I agree. Either that or anxiety. As if simply being an arse is impossible.

I'm quite sure if you divided the population into "people with dementia" and "people who are entitled and twattish" the latter population would easily be 10 x that of the first.

InfiniteSheldon · 02/09/2020 08:47

Ring her at 2am and ask her if she got your your text replying to her text that woke you up and gave you a sleepless night. If she likes a lie in ring again at 6am. She probably has a home phone number so perhaps text her on that too just to make sure.

lynsey91 · 02/09/2020 08:51

I don't go to bed until about midnight but I would still be furious if the phone rang and it wasn't an emergency. Plus I would be panicking that it was something urgent.

I would not ring anyone after about 8.30pm unless it was important as I think it is rude

cologne4711 · 02/09/2020 08:51

Leave your phone in another room and then idiots like this can't disturb you. If she called on the landline can you just unplug it when you go to bed?

I think I'd be phoning her today to shout at her though. Agree the dementia posts are silly. She could have menopausal brain fog I suppose, if you want to make excuses. Or she's just an inconsiderate twit.