How do I ask DH politely

[mintyfreshh]

To STFU when he leaves the house at 5am tomorrow?

Occasionally for work he has very early starts, and acts exactly as he would getting up three hours later. I'm talking running up and down the stairs every two minutes (the concept of consolidating stair journeys is lost on him), humming incredibly loudly to himself the entire time he's getting ready, snapping on the overhead lights everywhere (including over me in bed) showering with the door open and slamming the front door behind him. He is a stomper too, you can hear him walking around all day long.

I am then left knackered with two small kids who are up for the day, who become increasingly cranky as the day progresses from lack of sleep.

I used to leave much earlier than him for work, pre kids. I would shower the night before, organise everything in my bag so I didn't have to keep running up and down for things, have my clothes laid out ready etc etc.

I have gently asked a few times if he would do those things before the early starts and he always swears he will, but never does. I know he will get very defensive if I try to explain how (bloody selfish he is being!) it impacts the rest of us.

WWYD to minimise disruption? Any other stompy DHs out there?

Another one who thinks you should stop being gentle. Tell him to stop being so bloody selfish and inconsiderate.

And the next time he goes to bed early because he has to be up early do the exact same to him - up and down the stairs, on the phone, turn on the light, have a shower.

What time does he get up at the weekend? Maybe he needs to feel how this feels.

He's not rudely inconsiderate, just oafish. He's very awkward and lumbering and unaware of the noise he creates. He didn't even know he hummed, I was like 'You hum CONSTANTLY'

You just tell him that youre getting annoyed with him being so loud at that ungodly hour, and can he prepare himself the night before

I take it he has a day off at some point? Get up at 5am on his day off, do the same things he does, make the same amount of noise (making sure the kids are awake) and then fuck off out of the house all day to leave him with the kids.

My DP leaves for work every day at 6am. It's a very rare occasion he wakes me or the DC up. I think your partner is incredibly selfish

I'd be raging If Dp woke up us all up

All these women in marriages and relationships who can't open their mouths and speak! How on earth did you all conceive, buy houses, get jobs and run households when you can't say anything direct and to the point to your partners?

He’s doing it on purpose. Because he’s up he thinks everyone should be. He’s got a very important job don’t you know.

God, just reading this is making me rage. It sounds so incredibly thoughtless that it has to be intentional... Are you sure he isn't doing that thing of thinking 'well, if I have to be up, then so should everyone else!', even subconsciously?

He’s an arse.

Discuss with him getting his stuff ready the night before and laid out in another room so he doesn’t wake you or dc while he’s getting ready.

Shower the night before if he can’t do it quietly.

No shoes in in the house if they make him thump about.

Invest in a water pistol and spray him if he wakes you! Warn him first, then the next morning when he gets a fright you can say you had fair warning last night what the consequences would be....

He’s ignorant. Get him told.

Record him.
Play it back on full volume when he is trying to sleep.

Cross post, @Tlollj! (completely agree with you, by the way)

@clevername thanks. 👍

Why be polite? He isn't.

Stop being gentle. Seriously. Fuck this shit. It is incredibly rude and unacceptable.

And no, don't make your kids change their sleep schedules so he can continue on stomping around in the morning without waking them. That just sends the message that everyone in the house has to schedule their lives around DH.

Tell him that this shit stops now. I would be tempted to do this exact same thing to him on his day off if it doesn't stop immediately.

Stomp around, make sure the kids are up at 430 am, and then swan off for at least a day so he gets a taste of his own medicine. Make sure to come home after bedtime or the next morning so he gets the full experience.

I have absolutely zero patience with this kind of rude behavior.

I wouldn’t be asking him politely! I’d be telling him to STFU!!

X post with @Fatted.

Seriously, there's no excuse here, OP. He could stop. He just doesn't want to. I wouldn't be gentle anymore.

You've already tried the polite way. Time to put your foot down! Tell him straight, get annoyed, and mean it!

Oh this is soooo annoying! No fucking empathy. I had to travel for work and be at the airport for the first flight out, did the same as you. Would pack; have it all ready and shower the night before.

DH would turn all the lights on and pack in the morning when he needed to travel.

Sometimes the only way to punish is to show them what its like. When he's fast asleep do the same thing.

That’s made me angry on your behalf!

If you love and care about someone, sure you don’t sentence them to a day of feeling exhausted with grouchy children if you can avoid it. If he’s thinking “well I have to be up, so why shouldn’t she be” that’s really nasty. If he’s just thoughtless then you should only need to tell him once!

Also, fuck being polite!

Its one up all up attitude and its shit you could take the lightbulb out in the bedroom tell him to fuck off if he tries waking you up about it if he starts stomping ask him if he is a fucking elephant

Don't be polite! He isn't. You could beat him to it and wake up at 4am one morning and do the same thing to him, see how he likes it.

YABU to be polite.
If he won’t stop when asked firmly, you need to record his morning antics and play them back loudly when he is wanting a lie-in.

Go out with your mates and make sure he hears you making it safely back home at 3am (ideally when he has to get up at 5am). Yes, you’ll be shattered the next day but it’ll be the last time.

Tell him to stop being such a selfish fucker or he can go sleep in hotels
Haha yes that’s right tell the wage earner to go live in a hotel cause op needs her sssh

Get a grip.