Am AIBU to think Covid has changed us all?

[Daleksatemyshed]

I'm reading so many posts from people saying they're seeing their DH/DP's in a new light, and not for the better, people who are afraid to meet family, send their DC to school, just struggling with every day life to the point their MH is breaking down. Who would have thought a disease would do this to us?

Personally, I'm deeply disappointed by the number of people who seem to think it doesn't affect them. In other words, they can carry on as if nothing has changed - no SD, no extra hand washing, no care at all.
I guess it depends what you mean by "affect" - I would say that Covid has not affected me much personally, as I already worked from home, and so far no-one I know has caght it. The only really negative effect has been a drop in the amount of work, as I do some in the events and tourism sector, but I can hardly complain, can I, considering that other people have really been seriously affected.

Of course I have to wash my hands more, wear a mask and keep away from people, but that doesn't "affect" me. The mask and hand-washing are hardly even an inconvenience. The social distancing is harder to deal with, but again, I'm not going to complain when some people are really suffering badly.

I think what the virus has done is magnify who we really are.
I'm not sure its changed us, just been a situation where different personalities are under pressure.

Those of us who are anxious anyway have just become more so, and those who are not, are probably doing quite well at keeping life moving just with a bottle of sanitiser and a mask!

Don't know anyone MC who has had it?
Yep, they just bring it into the country via conferences in Singapore and French skiing holidays.
My school had a few cases 2nd/3rd week in March after a group of dads and their banking mates brought it back from a skiing trip.

@Bellesavage

I think it has exposed a lack of critical thinking and people's inability to correctly interpret statistics, which I find worrying.

For example, I know people who are avid rock climbers and white water rafters, both hobbies that carry significant risk, but they refuse to go to Tesco

This. I wish parents would think about the effect their hysteria is having.

I was fearful at first - I was furloughed, which was kind, financially, but left with too much time to be horrified over death rates and completely glued to the news. DH and dd studying and working from home meant I felt very anxious and useless- I made scrub bags. We discovered some lovely local walks. All the shops being closed apart from the supermarket was a bit surreal. Being back at work was much better. The extra things we do now, just feel normal- the hand washing and distancing. We’ve been away, out to meals, worn masks, it feels fine. We adapted.

It was the effect on everyday life that worried me all along (right back in January when everyone said it was scare-mongering to even talk about it), rather than actually catching it. I'm not particularly worried about my chances of death/serious complications if I do get it.

Working patterns have changed , thats for sure and although I don't think "the office" is dead I do think, and numerous reports have indicated this, that flexible working is here to stay with a corresponding reduction in commuter numbers and day-time city centre foot-fall. However businesses in outlying towns are areas are seeing a marked increase in activity so it's a case of adapt and adjust. We will also see an increase in just about every from of taxation, that is enevitable and is common following every national emergency.

I don't think it has really changed me but in the short term after not seeing anyone for months I did find it overwhelming when my adult children started arriving for visits over the summer. Obviously I wanted to see them and their partners and children but it just seemed so full on after all the quiet months.

I've been surprised by how many people are selfish and don't care about society and in particular the vulnerable, enough to follow some guidelines.

I'm kind of on the other side of the 'paranoia' argument. If people want to choose to take measures which to some may seem 'extreme', ie the guy sitting on the bench in mask, goggles and gloves, what harm is it doing to others ?? None.

I'm surprised at all the extremes of opinion. It's like an exercise in mass psychology as well. At first people were screaming for lockdown. That's changed to if you still wipe shopping or only go to outdoor places you're a paranoid freak.

Yes COVID has changed people. I'm sure the Spanish flu in 1918 did too. Pandemics in the past have caused seismic changes, even revolution. During the black death (ok, much worse than COVID but still) things were crazy - people started flagellating themselves, public order broke down.

Quarantine and mask wearing are not new ideas. They were well known by medieval times.

@JamesTKirkcompatible

people who are avid rock climbers and white water rafters, both hobbies that carry significant risk, but they refuse to go to Tesco

maybe they are judging risk to themselves (from dangerous hobbies) differently from how they judge a public health risk to others (them passing the virus around to more vulnerable folk) ?

I agree that it's not a comparable risk at all. If you fall off a rock then you aren't going to feel guilty for making others ill.

It's made me realise who is important in my life. I'm also no longer a people pleaser, fuck that. I'm going to think about me and what makes me happy.

Well I'm glad to see that Covid has changed a lot if people's lives for the better and sad for those who've struggled with it. I do think it's given many of us a breathing space to reaccess our lives and change. I have to go to the office but WFH has opened up a whole new life for some, I know my DP never wants to go back to commuting and nor do lots of friends

people who are avid rock climbers and white water rafters, both hobbies that carry significant risk, but they refuse to go to Tesco

Agree, not a good comparison at all (and ironically from a poster pointing to lack of critical thinking in others!)

I'm kind of on the other side of the 'paranoia' argument. If people want to choose to take measures which to some may seem 'extreme', ie the guy sitting on the bench in mask, goggles and gloves, what harm is it doing to others ?? None.

Because we don't live in a vacuum - our actions affect others. Parents behaving like that, for example, could cause serious damage to their children's' mental health. Getting rid of all germs can have long term effects on the immune system.

But at the moment it seems the only thing that matters is COVID and anything else can just be ignored or written off. It's dangerous to make COVID so so imprint that everything else is forgotten.

It's human nature to revert to set patterns of behaviour, however much they may think certain experiences have changed them forever. A few years from now, this period will likely be seen as a bizarre interlude, and normal service will be resumed in most if not all aspects of life.

Excellent point

"One more thought. After WW2, people were determined that the poverty of the 1930s should be consigned to history, and they elected a government that gave us the welfare state, for which I for one am very grateful. It now falls to this government to do something similar and use this crisis to address the obscene level of inequality in the UK, inequality that has risen exponentially since about 1980. People now desperately want some levelling up, and if that means taxing those who have done well a bit more then so be it. If the govt have the courage to do that, then out of this adversity might emerge a fairer nation. Let's hope so."

It has changed me for the better in some ways I am much happier to be at home now, not rushing out at the weekends and I haven't spent so much money on stuff I don't really need. I've realised how many things I do simply because its expected. Like the children doing lots of clubs for example. They haven't missed it really and enjoy just being in the garden or playing with each other at home. I also expected to be very anxious but actually I've been very practical, have found some useful coping strategies and become more resilient.

The anxiety and irrationality of some of my friends has been an eye opener. I work in education and I honestly think some people will never want to come near me ever again in case I am 'contaminated'. That's made me sad.

I was surprised how much I miss physical contact.

@vanillandhoney

I'm kind of on the other side of the 'paranoia' argument. If people want to choose to take measures which to some may seem 'extreme', ie the guy sitting on the bench in mask, goggles and gloves, what harm is it doing to others ?? None.

Because we don't live in a vacuum - our actions affect others. Parents behaving like that, for example, could cause serious damage to their children's' mental health. Getting rid of all germs can have long term effects on the immune system.

But at the moment it seems the only thing that matters is COVID and anything else can just be ignored or written off. It's dangerous to make COVID so so imprint that everything else is forgotten.

I disagree. Any measures people want to take will only harm children's mental health if they are presented in an anxious and fear ridden way. That's not the same thing at all. It's easy to present things to children in a calm manner. There's a big difference.

I never once said non COVID issues should be ignored either. I myself have suffered big delays in vital non COVID testing. That's a planning issue the government failed on. If we don't follow guidelines and lockdown then before long the NHS will be overwhelmed and non COVID stuff will suffer the same or even worse.

I was touched by the volunteer community groups.

Things that have changed for me in a positive way:
1.local bike rides
2.a real emphasis on visiting the great outdoors near us;
3.squeezing in time for a bit of reading in the garden.

Things I've not liked:
1.So busy at work, worked my backside off to try and prevent risk of redundancy. I've hated this and had terrible mum guilt.

1. Luckily DH had a lot of time with DS which he's never really had before, as he's always been working. They've done cool things like picnics on top of the hills, epic muddy bike rides and rugby in the garden. I'd have liked to have been a part of it, but its also been great to see the two of them have such good time together.

One thing that really has to change is that news has to go back to its duty as news, reporting what is fact and what has actually happened. So much is conjecture, if, could, may, perhaps. Its hard for anyone to make sense of it all. We are all busy people just need one single source of truth.

I think things won't feel normal again for a very long time. Doubt and uncertainty is the foreseeable.future. I feel quite down and nervous in a sort of dull, ongoing way.

'I think the fear of dying was ramped up so much that perfectly healthy people who have a bigger chance of dying in a car crash have become fearful, terrified and hysterical. The many posts on here show how ridiculous some have become.

Yes this virus kills very vulnerable or very elderly but even in that group the statistics show still a great chance of survival. '

The fear of giving a potentially deadly virus to a vulnerable family members/friend/stranger is the real fear for most young healthy people.

I disagree. Any measures people want to take will only harm children's mental health if they are presented in an anxious and fear ridden way. That's not the same thing at all. It's easy to present things to children in a calm manner. There's a big difference.

How do you present (using your example) a man wearing goggles, masks and gloves in public in a calm way, when he's the only one doing it?

The likelihood of a child dying from
COVID is minute. Why on earth are so many parents willingly restricting their children's lives over this virus? And how long will they continue to do so? Another six months? A year? What if there's no vaccine rolled out for three years or five years? Is it okay to live in fear for that long?

The impact this will have on people's mental health is going to be huge, and I still
maintain that the economic fall out (which will all fall on the shoulders of our children and grandchildren) is going to be massive, and history won't look back on fondly on our generation at all.

Because we don't live in a vacuum - our actions affect others. Parents behaving like that, for example, could cause serious damage to their children's' mental health.

Exactly. But this also applies to taking precautions on behalf of others too. You may not think your risk is great and are happy to ignore SD, but mine may be increased by sitting next to you on the train or if my child sits next to yours in the classroom. It is up to all of us to behave in a way that minimizes BOTH the risk to ourselves and families, and to the wider community. We shouldn't choose one over the other.

I think we all need to change.

We need to adapt to the new circumstances to survive. Like Marks and Spencer's partnering with Ocado to keep their sales going during the next resurgence of the virus.

To adapt, you need to be capable of assessing risk, not just dismissing it.

And to do that you need to understand, at the very least, that exponential spread like we had in February and March which led to 30,000 + excess deaths in April is an ever present risk. And that this is a relatively long term situation. (Years)

And it's going to be a long few years if you spend them clinging on to how things used to be.

I’ve discovered (and continue to discover) amazing outdoor places and spaces, all within easy walking distance from my house - only lived here 20 years...