Am AIBU to think Covid has changed us all?

[Daleksatemyshed]

I'm reading so many posts from people saying they're seeing their DH/DP's in a new light, and not for the better, people who are afraid to meet family, send their DC to school, just struggling with every day life to the point their MH is breaking down. Who would have thought a disease would do this to us?

not everyone has an excess BMI because of irresponsibility

Unless someone has been held captive and force fed, this isn't the case.

Everyone has total autonomy about what goes into their mouths.

I say this as someone who had to take a high dose of steroids throughout pregnancy and spent 9 months almost literally chewing my arm off with hunger - I had a choice about whether I gave in to it though, just like everyone else does too.

@ChavvySexPond

I think we all need to change.

We need to adapt to the new circumstances to survive. Like Marks and Spencer's partnering with Ocado to keep their sales going during the next resurgence of the virus.

To adapt, you need to be capable of assessing risk, not just dismissing it.

And to do that you need to understand, at the very least, that exponential spread like we had in February and March which led to 30,000 + excess deaths in April is an ever present risk. And that this is a relatively long term situation. (Years)

And it's going to be a long few years if you spend them clinging on to how things used to be.

Excellent post.

I'm not going to deny there is things I'm struggling with and will struggle with.

But I've learnt so much about myself and how I am able to TA and adapt in ways I didn't realise.

All good points too Hamstersarse.

Particularly the one about organisations failing to adapt - the most overused phase of 2020 is "because of Covid 19 we are unable to....even if it's life or death" The long term inability to get a face to face GP consultation, the diagnostic tests that haven't been done, the cancer and other treatments backlog, the effect on mental health and children's services.

@Bellesavage

I think it has exposed a lack of critical thinking and people's inability to correctly interpret statistics, which I find worrying.

For example, I know people who are avid rock climbers and white water rafters, both hobbies that carry significant risk, but they refuse to go to Tesco

But it’s no great loss to not go to Tesco. It’s reducing risk for no loss of benefit, so why not do this?

I'm not sure if it's changed people, more highlighted certain personality traits in them. The anxious types have become more anxious, the bossy dogooders have become unbearable and the selfish arseholes have become even worse. The reasonable folks have just continued to be reasonable and crack on.

Why would there be civil unrest?
Because not everyone is as pragmatic as you. If everyone shared your opinion, sure, there would be no civil unrest. But in the real world, people are already criticising the government about the high number of deaths now, when they have been very restrictive. If the number was even higher and there were no restrictions, there would be more criticism, right?

Actually, I agree with your analysis, but we need to challenge that mindset, not pander to it, and certainly not throw a whole generation under the bus in order to appease it.

Utterly ridiculous.

Have to say that I'm glad I live abroad - not as much scaremongering

You realise how stupid most people are...

@NikeDeLaSwoosh

Actually, I agree with your analysis, but we need to challenge that mindset, not pander to it, and certainly not throw a whole generation under the bus in order to appease it.

As it is, democratically elected governments are not generally in the business of challenging the views of the population.

I also expected to be very anxious but actually I've been very practical, have found some useful coping strategies and become more resilient.

Me too - it's like my limbic system went "Ah-ha - this is what I've been practising for all these years!" When I had uncertainty about my job I didn't cope well with that, granted, but with the overall virus situation I found I could be quite pragmatic.

In terms of change, I've been disappointed to realise just how many people can't understand basic statistics and what they mean for relative risk, or even think logically instead preferring to believe what a meme on FB told them (remember the "If you can hold your breath for 10 seconds you haven't got coronavirus" thing?)

I've been disappointed to see how some people I know have behaved - a few turned into Covid Bullies shouting at people on social media or telling people off for issues deemed trivial, and some of my NHS friends seem to be convinced that absolutely no-one in the whole country is washing their hands/social distancing/wearing a mask, so they and their colleagues are all going to end up dead and absolutely no-one will care. To go by their FB feeds, they are all telling each other this so no wonder they all end up convinced of it being true. I've had to step back from several friendships that I really hope recover in time.

For me the biggest change has been to find that I can't socialise so much - I can't risk having to quarantine for various reasons and that makes going out tricky. Some of my previously close friends have made it clear that adjustments - such as sitting in the garden rather than outside a pub - aren't acceptable to them which has left me rather left-out. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage with that.

Oh, another change - I always used to read the Guardian but I can't bear their doom-mongering and dramatic headlines of scenarios that, when you actually read the text, are all 'coulds' and 'possibles'.

I've switched to the Times for some calm and measured rationality.

Yes I would say I've changed I went from being happy to being downright upset angry more I'm so angry at times more than I once was and that's really getting me down I'm also stressed out more.
And I don't think it's so much the fear of the virus but the fear of the damage that has been done because of this virus and the constant feeling of waiting for it all to happen again and being worse and making the previous lockdown look like a picnic in comparison.

Hasn't changed me that much. I think OP is talking about people severe anxiety. Which they would have with or without Covid.

I actually have very little patience for people with such severe anxiety that they allow it to affect their parenting and their children. There are different options available, from GP to support groups, to help or at least try and deal with severe anxiety. people who don't and it badly affects their children really really get on my nerves.

I agree with many other PPs - it seems to have brought out everything that is bad in the British - sanctimony, bullying, meaness, ignorance, judgement, Puritanism, bone idleness, hysteria and cowardice.

I managed to get to France for a couple of weeks (yes, one of these evil selfish people who had the nerve to go on holiday abroad!) and it was such a refreshing change in attitude - sensible and practical and good humoured. I feel ashamed of how Britain has dealt with this tbh.

Oh, another change - I always used to read the Guardian but I can't bear their doom-mongering and dramatic headlines of scenarios that, when you actually read the text, are all 'coulds' and 'possibles'.
Yes I used to read the Guardian but I can't bear it now. I understand they hate the government but life has been so miserable that I think we want to see some chinks of light. The media in general has been unrelentingly miserable. I want to know the facts not doom laden forecasts about every aspect of our lives

I find it hard to even speak to the panic buyer types who were out in force at the beginning of all of this.

The fucking toilet roll fiasco was just unbelievable. I find it very difficult to be around people like that now. I used to be compassionate, I fear I no longer am. Their lack of rationality or sense is too much.

The media in general has been unrelentingly miserable.

I think this highlights just how much our media is geared up for bad news, but also many have a rolling feed that needs to be filled even if it's just with opinion and conjecture. Drama = clicks = views delivered to advertisers...

There are many very thoughtful, compassionate and insightful posts on this thread. It makes me feel quite proud of my fellow human beings.

There are a minority of people who hate lockdown and say we didn’t need all the ‘scaremongering’ - which will be the cause of terrible things for years to come. Not the virus apparently. But it’s not the majority view.

There are very negative aspects. No one wants a pandemic! But it is a fact, there is one and it is global. No one has escaped no matter what their countries policies. People have lost their lives, their loved ones, their jobs.

However there are some surprising and uplifting things, such as:
Homelessness - The push to protect the homeless by putting them hotels has led to many homeless people accessing treatment or support much earlier and more than before.
Premature birth - the rate has come down significantly during lockdown, possibly linked to the decrease in stress/commuting etc that pregnant women would have otherwise done.
Teenage reduced stress - anecdotally many teenagers, including my own, have simplified their lives, reconnected with family and ‘chilled out’ - which is born out by some recent research.
Greater appreciation of shop workers, healthcare staff, bus drivers, security - I know that not everyone appreciates them more! But everyone I know has a new found respect and I for one would love to see this backed up by scrapping zero hours contracts etc.
Mental Health - I think there are some whose mental health have suffered, possibly those who rely on mental health services heavily as many of these were reduced. I also know many health staff in ICU who probably have PTSD. Also women suffering increased domestic abuse. However I also know of many more people who are less stressed, and more mentally strong than before.

I really don’t see loads of frightened people locked in their own homes! The overwhelming majority are finding the best in themselves and other people. It is really heartening and inspiring to see.

It’s cured me of being a stickler for rules. I used to obey every rule in the book, thinking they are all for a good reason; but now, I’ve seen so many pointless roolz appearing every day ‘cos Covid. So now, I decide for myself which rules in general I follow. I’ve even started crossing at the red man.

This is a fascinating thread.

I think it probably has changed me but I'm not quite sure how to quantify it at the moment. I lost a friend to Covid and have seen friends lives devastated by it: one lost a husband, one her brother and two lost parents. It's been emotionally very difficult.

My experience has coloured how I feel about how people have reacted, I'm sure. I can see that if you hadn't seen someone suffer through this then you'd think it was all an overreaction but I can't feel like that. The conspiracy theorists make me feel rather despairing. The fact that they've become wrapped up in right wing tactics is horrifying to me.

I worry that it IS an over reaction but I don't think it is, really. We have three close friends who are hospital doctors, one in a large London teaching hospital and two, a couple, who work in a more rural location. Their experiences have been very instructive. They are not prone to over reaction or hyperbole. The London doctor had a terrible, hellish time at one point. The other two got off a bit more lightly but did not have a good time and the wife of the couple, who specialists in public health, is very worried about the winter. I would rather listen to them than some YouTube random.

We've tried really, really hard to make this a nice time for our daughter but it's been exhausting and difficult at times. She's been very happy at home, though has missed her friends. I don't think she's been damaged by this, really, but I think some children really will have. My stepdaughter has had a very stressful time and is finding it all very emotional.

I thought, perhaps, we might all be a bit nicer to each other for a while, but the level of discourse has been awful recently.

The trouble is, one person's 'Community Minded' is another person's 'Interfering Busybody'

It is a slippery slope when we start trying to make other people responsible for our own health

You misunderstood my point.

I'm not about fat-bash as you seem to be, nor being judgemental about people's BMI, I have no visibility whatsoever who have weight problems because of their diet or their medical circumstances. That wasn't my point.

Nor was it my point that I or others should police how people behave.

My point was that the general public have guidelines to follow and I gave the specific example of the flight from Greece, where people were deliberately not wearing their masks, acting like a bunch of football hooligans and behaving like thugs, when they could have been behaving in an orderly fashion, according to guidelines and considering their fellow passengers.

The fact they chose to do that is just one example of how people don't give a stuff about the comfort or safety of others, and I refuse to make excuses for people like that, they are scum. They haven't changed because of the pandemic, they're just showing everyone who they are. If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck then it's definitely a tosser.

^ @NikeDeLaSwoosh in response to your points.

I remember seeing an article by Julie Birchill - this extract made me laugh. It is very true.

I recall how the lockdown had two parts; first it was all Kumbaya and cupcakes, then as boredom set in, it went from Little Women to Lord Of The Flies as busybody layabouts began picking on people for going to work and thus ‘spreading’ the virus.

The only way its changed me is I don't go places as much mainly because softly and anywhere for kids (my work) is still shut, but many because I hate wearing the funking mask, they give me a migraine everytime. Don't know whether its pregnancy, but I doubt it.